RPG Party
by FishOutOfWater
Summary: What starts out as a peaceful vacation for Cloud, Tifa, and Barret turns into a wacky Final Fantasy VII, Xenogears, and Pokemon crossover! (Part twelve added)
1. Foreword

**The RPG Party**  


  


**_Author's Extended Forward  
  
(Please read this short forward before starting the story)  
_**

  
**General notes about RPG Party:** I wrote RPG Party back in the summer and early fall of 1999. The entire story consists of a prologue, 13 parts, and an epilogue. Because it was written so long ago (it was up at the now deleted fanfic.net), some of the jokes may seem rather '99ish, but it's an entertaining story, worth some light reading. I'll be posting about one chapter per week. In all honesty, some of the parts are great, while others are truly crappy. At fanfic.net, some of the parts were rated in the 9s, while others were back in the 5s. Personally, I think Part 5 is the most entertaining part and Part 6 is the worst. For some reason, I never got around to posting this story (the longest story I've ever written, and probably the only crossover I'll ever write), but here it is!  
  
**Basic Plot Summary: ** The story is a Final Fantasy VII, Xenogears, and Pokemon crossover. The basic plot is that Cloud, Tifa, and Barret want to have a nice, peaceful, vacation, but when the Yggdrasil crashes in their vacation spot, it changes into a wacky crossover. The fic contains SPOILERS for FFVII and Xenogears, be warned. Also, it's written in play format, it's not the world's greatest writing, but it is funny.  
  
**Censors: ** Since fanfiction.net's chapter system forces us to give us one censor for each part, I'm going to give you the censors for each part, here. I have to eventually rate this story R (after I post part nine) for one especially naughty part, unfortunately. But nearly all of the parts are PG-13. Generally speaking, the parts range from mild to major swearing (but mostly humorously bleeped out) and sexual humor. The parts rated PG obviously have a lot less of this than the other parts. Without further ado, here are the censors for each part:  
  
Prologue: PG-13  
Part One: PG-13  
Part Two: PG-13  
Part Three: PG-13  
Part Four: PG-13  
Part Five: PG-13 (particularly strong)  
Part Six: PG  
Part Seven: PG-13  
Part Eight: PG-13  
Part Nine: R (If you can't handle the R, I highly recommend you skip this part)  
Part Ten: PG-13  
Part Eleven: PG  
Part Twelve: PG-13  
Part Thirteen: PG-13  
Epilogue: PG-13  
  
That's all for now! Go on to the story, and, by all means, enjoy it!  
Love,  
Misty 2


	2. Prologue- "We Need a Vacation!"

**The RPG Party- Prologue: "We need a Vacation"**  


  


_Featuring: Cloud, Tifa, and Barret_  


  
_Author's Notes: All right, I admit it, this story will probably look really boring in this part. But the party hasn't started yet, has it? Come on, give this fic a chance! Prolouges are bad in every fanfic!_  
  
-------------------------------------------------  
  
_The three members of Avalanche sat around, not getting anywhere in their meeting. Everyone seemed tired and nauseous._  
  
**Barret:** Oh, forget the meeting. Let's just drink beer and watch some TV.  
  
**Cloud:** Sounds good!  
  
_Barret went to get the drinks, while Tifa turned the TV on._  
  
**Tifa:** _*flips channels*_ Looks like nothing good is on.  
  
**Cloud:** Yeah really. _*sighs*_ I'm @#%$^# bored.  
  
_Barret arrived with the drinks. Cloud and Barret took the buds, but Tifa refused._  
  
**Tifa:** Sorry, I have to stay thin.  
  
**Barret:** You mean you really don't get liposuction?  
  
**Tifa: **Well, uh, hehe, uh.......  
  
**Cloud:** So THAT'S how your boobs got so big! Hahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Tifa:** SHUT UP YOU LITTLE *#$(@%((!%^@$()%^%(*&%#@()*%&()%!!! _*Lets off a string of swear words*_  
  
**Barret: **I thought only I could swear like that!  
  
_Luckily, the embarrassing conversation is saved by the TV._  
  
**TV:** And now we bring you a special report on video RPGs and the heroes.  
  
**Cloud:** All right, we must be in this!  
  
**TV: **Here is the hottest RPG/TV Show of 1999. Presenting: The cast of pokemon!  
  
_A young boy, girl, and a teenage boy appear on the set._  
  
**Cloud:** They're in an RPG? I'd just like to see them beat our sales record.....  
  
-------------------------------------------------  
  
**TV Show**  
  
**Ash:** Hey, I'm Ash Ketchum! I rule! I'm the coolest!  
  
**Misty:** No, I'm the coolest! Girl power!  
  
**Ash:** No, I am!  
  
**Misty:** I am!  
  
**Ash:** I AM you little-  
  
**Brock: **If you two don't shut up I'm going to take out Vulpix and have it firespin your little asses!  
  
**Ash:** Misty, you head him! Let's gang up on him!  
  
**Misty:** Great idea, Ashie boy!  
  
**Ash:** Squirtle, go!  
  
**Misty:** Starmie, go!  
  
_Of course, Psyduck comes out._  
  
**Misty: **You stupid pokemon! Oh well, just get that guy with the dark hair!  
  
**Brock:** Vulpix, go!  
  
_Suddenly, all three pokemon begin to shoot fire and water at each other. The fight continues on for a long.........long.........long...........time.  
_  
-----------------------------------------------  
  
_Tifa put the TV on mute._  
  
**Tifa:** Well, this is really sad.  
  
**Barret:** I'm feelin @#$% stressed, I'm feelin @$#% stressed.....  
  
**Cloud:** Anyway, what's with us always having to be the heroes? It's just, well, ya know, feelin what Barret said!  
  
**Tifa:** Well, I think we could all use a vacation.  
  
**Barret and Cloud:** A (%&(@$(&@%& vacation? WHY!!??  
  
**Tifa:** Oh, forget it. I'm turning the TV back on.  
  
_Tifa turned it on just in time to see the next RPG guests. The guys ignored the TV and continued to chug their beers.  
_  
---------------------------------------------  
  
**TV: **And here is our last guest, our favorite RPG of all time: XENOGEARS!!!!! And with us today, we have the two stars, Fei and Elly!  
  
**Fei:** Hey, I'm Fei, also known as 'The Contact.'  
  
**Elly:** And I'm Elly, the Anti-Contact. And you know what? I love Fei!  
  
_Fei and Elly begin to hug and kiss, ignoring everyone around them._  
  
**TV:** Um, Fei, Elly?  
  
**Fei and Elly:** Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm  
  
**TV:** Uh, could you maybe tell us about the plot of the story?  
  
**Fei:** Let's just say-  
  
**Elly:** Let's just say you've gotta see the ending! Oh wow, perhaps we should reenact the first half of the ending right here Fei....  
  
**Fei:** Great idea!  
  
**TV:** Um, guys, I don't think that's a good idea, uh, I really don't need this show rated Mature, uh, hello?  
  
_Suddenly, the TV goes black and the words 'Censored' are proudly displayed._  
  
--------------------------------------  
  
_This time, Tifa decided to turn off the TV._  
  
**Tifa: **We're getting beat out in sales by this sex crap! AHHHHH!!!!!!  
  
**Barret:** I thought your secret sexual fantasy was to do it with Cloud in the ending of the game, and then-  
  
**Tifa:** SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!! _*ties Barret's mouth up*_  
  
**Cloud:** I'm starting to think you were right about that vacation...  
  
**Tifa:** All right, a supporter! Where do you think we should go?  
  
**Barret:** alnvoasdosalkmvlm;slknvohsnl  
  
**Tifa:** Yes, perfect idea Barret, a secluded cabin in the mountains!   
  
**Cloud:** We can all run away from our rejection problems!  
  
**Tifa:** Let's start packing!  
  
_Tifa runs out of the room joyously, but a Cloud stops to untie Barret._  
  
**Barret:** But, but, but- &%()@#)(%&*)*&@%)()(@%!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Cloud:** Oh shut your hole, Barret, we're leaving tomorrow!  
  
_Barret grunted and thought to himself that a hangover would make them forget everything, too._  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------  
To be continued........  
  
  
  
  



	3. Part One- "The Party Begins"

**The RPG Party- Part 1: "The Party Begins"**  
  
_Featuring: Cloud, Tifa, Barret, Bart, Margie_  


  
--------------------------------------------------------------  
  
_Cloud, Tifa, and Barret have just arrived at their vacation destination. It turns out, the cabin isn't quite the resort Tifa was expecting.   
In fact, it's a run down old place with only an outhouse, a kitchen, four bedrooms, a celler, and a main room._  
  
**Cloud:** Well guys, it looks like we're here.  
  
**Barret**: What kind of $%#&*#^ place is this?  
  
**Tifa:** NOOOOOO!!! This isn't what I was expecting! WAAAHH!!!! _*Begins to cry on Cloud's shoulder*_  
  
**Cloud:** Uh, get off Tifa. You know, I really shouldn't have used a company with "Cheap Cabins" in their name.   
  
_Barret walks over to the door and opens it. Unfortunately, the door falls over._  
  
**Barret**: (@#%(*%@#@(*%&%_(*@_*%%#^*$&*%(*&!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! _*Throws the door across the front yard and walks in*_  
  
**Cloud:** Well, at least there's a TV...  
  
**Barret:** All right! Somebody left beer here! _*Takes out beer bottle and pours big glasses for himself and Cloud*_  
  
**Cloud: **YESSS!!!!!!!!!!!!! _*Takes a drink*_ Ewwww!!!! This beer is SOUR? Haven't they ever paid attention to those Budweiser commercials that talk about fresher beer?   
  
**Tifa:** You know guys, you do the exact same thing during out "Avalanche meetings," drink beer and watch whatever's on.  
  
**Cloud:** Well, do you have any better ideas? _*Does the famous 'Cloud Shrug'*_  
  
**Barret:** All right, someone left movies here!  
  
**Tifa:** What movies? _*Goes over and looks*_ Uh, porn movie, porn movie, oh my god, the owners of this place are sickos!  
  
**Cloud:** Oh wait, here's a real movie at the bottom of the pile.  
  
**Tifa: **TITANIC!!!!!!!! I LOVE TITANIC!!!!!! I LOVE LEO!!!!!!!  
  
**Barret:** I think I'd rather watch a porn movie. _*Takes Titanic and shoots the video so that it won't work anymore*_  
  
**Cloud:** You know, that Kate Winslet is pretty hot....   
  
**Barret: **TRAITOR!!!! You little bastard! _*Shoots Cloud in the leg*_  
  
**Cloud:** Mother....._*Winces in pain*_  
  
**Tifa:** How dare you hurt my precious Cloud! _*Hands Cloud a restore materia and glares at Barret.*_  
  
**Cloud:** Thanks Tifa. You sure know to be prepared! You know what, that's the boyscout motto......  
  
**Barret:** All right, enough, let's start a movie. _*Picks up 'American Pie'*_  
  
**Cloud: **Hey wait a minute, American Pie isn't a porn movie! Barret, pick another one!  
  
**Tifa:** Actually, the new version out on video is rated NC-17...... _*Everyone ignores her*_  
  
**Barret:** Okay. _*Reaches in the pile and grabs Eyes Wide Shut, European Version* _How's this?  
  
**Cloud:** PERFECT! I want to see Nicole Kidnam naked!  
  
**Tifa:** Why you little...._*Slaps Cloud*_  
  
**Cloud:** Owwww, uh why do you care?  
  
**Tifa:** Um, uh hehe, never mind.  
  
**Barret:** I think Tifa meant she wants to be in the movie instead.  
  
**Tifa:** ewwwwww!!!!!! No way!!!!!  
  
**Cloud:** What if I was in it, too, in place of Tom Cruise?  
  
**Tifa:** Um, well, maybe..........  
  
**Barret:** Ha! Told you! Now, can we start the #$%^&@ movie? _*Places Eyes Wide Shut into the machine and presses play*_  
  
**Tifa:** I'm not watching it! _*Runs into kitchen. Just as she reaches it, a loud crashing sound is heard. She casually looks out the window and notices a huge airship*_  
  
_Meanwhile, Barret and Cloud also hear the sound, turn off the movie, and run into the kitchen to see what's going on._  
  
**Barret: **What the *@%&(&% is that piece of crap?  
  
**Cloud: **I think it's a downed plane. But I can't quite read the name of it- I knew I should have listened to the doctor about getting   
those dorky looking pieces of plastic! _*Squints to try and figure out the name of it*_  
  
**Tifa: **Uh guys, I think I can figure it out. It says ' The Yuck Drasil.' Uh, never mind, the Yggdrasil.   
  
**Barret:** Hell, I can hear some people in there!  
  
**Cloud:** Same, But I can't hear what they're saying, let's just wait until they come out.....  
  
-----------------------------------------------------  
  
Meanwhile, in the Yggdrasil III....  
  
**Bart:** God, I knew I should've taken Sigurd with me!!!!!!  
  
**Margie:** You got that right, you stupid cousin!  
  
**Bart:** Shut the hell up and help me figure out what's wrong. _*Bart and Margie run out of the ship to try and figure just what happened to the ship. As they walk out, they notice a cabin right next to them*_  
  
**Margie:** Aww, look at the cute cabin. I wonder if there's people in it. _*Walks over to it and notices that there are three people starting at them through the window* _Oh my god, it's-it's, it's our competition! Some of the characters from Final Fantasy 7!  
  
**Bart:** Great, perfect timing. _*Walks over and attempts to open the back door. The door not only falls off, it explodes*_  
AHHHHH!!!!!!!! What kind of trap is this!  
  
_Meanwhile, the Final Fantasy 7 members present have walked outside to see who the strangers are._  
  
**Barret:** &$*)(@*@)!!!!!!!!! It's Bart and Margie from Xenogears! NOOOO!!!! _*Lifts his gun up at Margie*_  
  
**Bart: **Run, Margie! Back into the Yggdrasil!!!!!!  
  
**Margie:** Right behind you!! _*Bart and Margie run inside, leaving Barret, Cloud, and Tifa standing there*_  
  
**Tifa:** You shouldn't have done that, Barret. I mean, I know they come from a rival RPG and everything, but Squaresoft made them, too!  
  
**Cloud: **Let's just stay outside until they come out again. There's no way they'll get that pile of shit out of here.  
  
**Tifa:** No, I want to go inside!  
  
**Barret:** So we can watch the porn movie?  
  
**Tifa:** Uh, actually, let's stay outside.  
  
----------------------------------------------------  
  
Back on the Yggdrasil (Again!)  
  
**Chu-Chu: **What happened to chu all back there?  
  
**Bart:** Nothing important. Look, can you go find Fei and Elly while Margie and I figure out what's wrong with the Yggdrasil?  
  
**Chu-Chu**: I know where they are. Don't chu? Well, if chu don't know, they would probably not appreciate me telling chu. Especially since- oops, never mind, go back chu what chu were doing.  
  
**Bart:** Just forget it! _*Throws hands up in disgust* _Come on Margie.....  
  
**Margie:** Uh, I'll find them when we're done, Bart. _*Bart achknowledges her comment, and then they walk over to the back of the Yggdrasil. On the way, they notice that Elly's room is empty*_  
  
**Bart:** Odd, I thought she was taking a nap! _*Also notices that Fei's room, next door, is empty*_ Well, I may be King, but this makes no sense to me! If they're not in their rooms, where the hell are they?  
  
**Margie: **Come on Bart, let's just get this over with, and then we can figure it out. _*Bart and Margie examine the engines. After looking for a long time, they notice no obvious problems*_  
  
**Bart:** Looks like we just experienced sudden, unexplainable engine failure. Looks like we'll have to stay here for awhile.  
  
**Margie:** But what about the Final Fantasy 7 cast?  
  
**Bart:** I guess we'll just have to bond with them, or something...Come on, we should go apoligize for what happpened earlier so they'll let us stay. _*Grabs Margie's hand and begins running*_  
  
**Margie:** Wait! What about Elly and Fei?  
  
**Bart:** Uh, oh yeah, right._ *Screeches to a halt*_ Well, let's check out the halls! _*After checking every single room in the Yggdrasil, including the gear hanger and shop, there is no sign of them*_  
  
**Margie:** They're not in their rooms, they're not on the deck, they're not working on their gears, so where the hell are they?  
  
**Bart**: Let's look later. _*On the way back, he sees Chu-chu and remembers he knew where Fei and Elly are* _Uh, Chu-chu, could you tell me where they are?  
  
**Chu-chu:** Uh, um, uh, um, uh, well, I, um I, uh, um, I- forgot! Yeah, I forgot! Sorry! _*Bart looks at her in disgust and continues walking to the door.*  
_  
------------------------------------------------  
  
Back outside the Cabin  
  
**Tifa: **God, how long could they take?  
  
**Cloud:** Maybe they're, oh wait, she looks a little young for that.  
  
**Tifa: **Do guys always have that one thing on their mind?  
  
**Barret and Cloud:** Uh-huh.  
  
_Tifa is about to reply, but notices Margie and Bart walking out._  
  
**Cloud:** Looks like they're back. With pretty depressed looks. _*Bart walks over to Barret, and Margie to Tifa*_  
  
**Margie:** We're sorry about how we acted earlier.  
  
**Barret:** We are too. That's why we waited out here. So, any luck?  
  
**Bart:** It looks like the Yggdrasil is down for good. Do you think that maybe we could stay here for a little while?  
  
**Cloud:** Uh, I guess so. We were about to watch a porn movie. Wanna join us, guys?  
  
**Bart:** WOO HOO!!!!! _*Margie glares at him* _Uh, actually, I'm not into the stuff.  
  
Margie and Tifa huddle together and whisper. After a few minutes, they come out their huddle.  
  
**Tifa:** We have a good idea that will keep you guys from watching dirty movies.  
  
**Margie: **We think- we should all have a party!  
  
**Bart, Cloud, and Barret:** We don't want no powder puff party!  
  
**Margie: **Actually, I have some proof that it won't be like that. Just give me a minute. _*Runs on to Yggdrasil*_  
  
**Cloud:** What's she gonna do?  
  
**Tifa:** I don't know, she didn't tell me!  
  
**Bart:** I think she's probably looking for Fei and Elly. Maybe she thinks they'll convince us somehow.  
  
**Tifa: **Hey, I saw them on TV yesterday! Uh, hehe, maybe I shouldn't have mentioned that......_ *Everyone goes inside and waits for Margie to come out*_  
  
----------------------------------------------------  
  
In the Yggdrasil (Getting familiar, huh?)  
  
**Margie:** Hmm, where could they have gone? _*Thinks a little*_ Hmm, I know, Maybe they're INSIDE their gears! _*Goes inside Weltall but instead of finding me she finds- a young boy and a rat!*_  
  
**Ash:** Uh, looks like we've been discovered.  
  
**Margie:** What are you doing on my cousin's ship? _*Notices pikachu*_ EEEEEKKK!!!! A RAT!!!  
  
**Ash:** This is no rat, it's a pokemon. His name is pikachu.  
  
**Pikachu:** Pika pika pikachu! (Hi Margie! I've played your video game!)  
**  
Margie:** Oh my god, you're that guy from Pokemon! I love that game! Well, I guess you guys can stay. Just go out to the deck, I've gotta find a couple people.   
  
**Ash: **Oh, those two people in that big gear next to us?  
  
**Margie:** They're in Vierge? Thanks for the help! _*Runs into Vierge*_  
  
**Ash: **Uh, you may not want to just waltz right in there- oops, she's already walked in. Hmmm, this should be interesting.   
  
**Margie:** Hey guys, time to get out! _*Sees Elly and Fei naked on the floor* _Um, maybe this is a bad time...  
  
**Elly and Fei:** AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Margie: **AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! _*Runs out of Vierge and into Ash*_  
  
**Ash:** See, I told you!!!  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
5 Minutes later, back in the cabin  
  
**Margie: **So guys, you guys could do what they were doing! It's that kind of party! _*Just then, Elly and Fei walk in in their underwear*_  
  
**Cloud:** Uh, what exactly were they doing again? _*Looks at them strangely*_  
  
**Fei: **We were, you know-  
  
**Barret:** All right, this is better than porn movies! Maybe we should have this party!  
  
**Cloud:** I'm starting to agree! _*does Cloud Shrug for the second time*_  
  
**Elly:** What party?  
  
**Bart:** We'll explain later.  
  
**Ash:** I can invite the rest of the pokemon cast over!   
  
**Bart: **Wait a minute, how did Ash and Pikachu from pokemon manage to make it here?  
  
**Pikachu:** Pikachu!! (stowaways!) _*Pikachu and Ash exchange a high five*_  
  
**Bart:** WHAT? You guys were hiding in the Yggdrasil? Oh well, I'll forgive you since you're inviting more people to the party.  
  
**Tifa:** Cloud, Barret, and I can invite the rest of the Final Fantasy 7 cast.  
  
**Chu-chu:** I can invite the rest of the Xenogears characters!  
  
**Barret: **All righty, sounds like we've got out party and our guests all set up!   
  
**Fei: **And you never know what sort of mystery guests could show up, too! Although Elly and I still aren't sure exactly sure how we inspired it.....Oh, by the way, would you let us get some clothes on? It's kind of embarassing standing here in boxers!  
  
**Bart: **Sure, go ahead. _*Fei and Elly go running off*_  
  
**Cloud:** So, are we ready to start the party?  
  
**Everyone:** YOU BET!!!!!!!  
  
**Cloud:** So, the party is officially starting........RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!  
  
-----------------------------------------  
  
To be continued.........  



	4. Part Two- "It's Chaos in Here!"

**The RPG Party- Part 2: "It's Chaos in Here!"  
**  
_Featuring Ash, Pikachu, Cid, and Bart_  
  


_----------------------------------------_  
  
_Now, a few hours later, the party is in full swing!!!! However, everyone's gotten tired from making dumb jokes, and they need something better to do.  
_  
**Ash:** So, what can we do now?  
  
**Pikachu: **Pika pi (dance!)  
  
**Everyone: **No way, I can't dance!  
  
**Pikachu:** PIKACHU!!!!!!!!_ *uses thundershock*  
_  
**Everyone: **Actually, we meant to say that we really want to dance!  
  
**Pikachu:** Pi Pi Pikachu! (All right, I start first!)  
  
**Cloud:** Just a minute, Pikachu. _*Signals everyone else, except Ash, into a huddle* _You know what guys? Let's boot the rat and the kid out!  
  
**Barret:** Good idea! They're such )@(%&*$)@)*%&(^#@_*s!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Fei:** So, what's the brilliant plan, Cloud?  
  
**Cloud: **While he's dancing, either Tifa or Elly boots them out the window.  
  
**Tifa and Elly:** Why do we have to hurt the adorable mouse?  
  
**Margie:** Because they were stowaways on our ship!!!  
  
**Bart: **They should pay for that!  
  
**Pikachu: **Pi Pi Pikachu!!!! (Hurry up, I want to start dancing!)_ *Runs over to group*  
_  
**Barret:** Maybe we should go outside and finish this. _*Everyone goes outside*  
_  
**Margie:** I'll push him out the window!!  
  
**Cloud: **Great! Fei, pick something for him and Ash to dance to.  
  
**Fei:** How about 'Sex Machine?'  
  
**Bart: **Uh, just because you think you're one........_*Gives him weird look*_  
  
**Elly:** But he IS one!!!!!! Um, never mind. _*Starts running to Yggdrasil*_ I've gotta go find Chu-chu!  
  
**Bart: **I know, we can use that $%*@%) Pokemon theme song. You know, the I want to be the Very Best crap.  
  
**Barret:** Good idea! We can use that. _*Everyone runs inside*_  
  
**Tifa:** We picked a song for you guys!  
  
**Ash:** WHAT? I WANNA KNOW!  
  
**Margie:** How does the Pokemon Theme Song sound to you? _*snickers as she imagines Ash flying out the window*_  
  
**Pikachu: **PIKA!!!!!! (YAY!!!!!!!)  
  
**Cloud: **OK, let's play the song- oh wait a minute, do we even have a tape player?  
  
_*Everyone searches all over the cabin for a radio*_  
  
**Fei:** Uh, nooooooooooooo  
  
**Margie:** Forget it! I'm just gonna punch you stowaways out of the cabin right now! _*Does some amazing combinations and sends Ash and Pikachu flying out the window*_  
  
**Ash: **AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
_  
Everyone listens for a bunch of bones cracking. And listened......and listened and listened._  
  
**Barret:** _(^%(_*%@#)(!!!!!! Why didn't we hear anything falling?  
  
**Sound from up above:** Yeeha! We caught the ugly little things!  
  
**Another voice:** Actually, they landed on the Highwind, Cid. Besides, you fly like a maniac. Who else do you think does dive bombs in people's backyards?  
  
**Cloud:** CID!!!!!!! Always ruining our fun..........._ *The Highwind lands next to the Yggdrasil. Out climbs...Cid!!!*_  
  
**Barret:** Hey! Long time no see? Who else is with you?  
  
**Cid:** Aeris, but she went out the back door to converse with a girl she saw in that junk pile over there. motions toward the Yggdrasil  
  
**Bart:** WHAT ARE YOU CALLING A JUNK PILE???? That happens to be my ship, the Yggdrasil?  
  
**Cid:** That piece of crap is a plane? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! Starts laughing wildly  
  
**Bart:** It just needs to be repaired! Besides, it's a lot better than the Highwind! All you have is that (*%(& operations room!  
  
**Cid:** Well, at least I'm the cooler pilot!  
  
**Bart:** No, I'm better and so is my ship!  
  
**Cid:** The Highwind is!  
  
**Bart: **Yggdrasil!  
  
**Cid:** Highwind!  
**  
Bart:** Yggdrasil!  
  
**Ash:** _*From the plane* _Uh, do you think someone could get me and Pikachu down from here? _*Everyone stares at them, having forgotten they existed*  
_  
**Tifa: **There's a ladder on the left side of the plane.  
  
**Pikachu:** Pik! (Thanks!) *Ash and Pikachu head down the ladder*  
  
**Bart: **Now, where were we Cid?  
  
**Cid: **The Highwind is better!  
  
**Bart:** Yggdrasil! And I'm gonna prove it to you! Feel the wrath of Bart! _*Takes out whip and is about to kill Cid when Aeris and Elly come running out of the Yggdrasil*_  
  
**Aeris:** We could hear you guys fighting all the way in the gear room!  
  
**Elly: **Men are soooooo stupid. Except Fei, of course. _*Smiles and winks at him*_  
  
**Aeris:** So, anyway, we decided a good way for you to settle your dispute.  
  
**Bart and Cid:** HOW??  
  
**Elly:** We need to call the author in and ask her!  
  
**Mystery Author:** Did I hear myself called into my own fanfic?  
  
**Cloud: **We need you to solve this terrible problem. Which combination is better, Cid and the Highwind, or Bart and the Yggdrasil?  
  
**Mystery Author: **They both win.  
  
**Margie:** Huh?  
  
**Mystery Author: **See, Cid is cooler then Bart. But Bart, the Yggdrasil is better than the Highwind.  
  
**Tifa: **So you're not actually going to put one over the other?  
  
**Mystery Author: **Nope!  
  
**Cid and Bart:** )@%_&(*^$(_(*#@_*#!*(&_(*&#))(#!*&@%@)+(+%#(+&~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Mystery Author:** Now, can I leave?  
  
**Aeris:** Sure!  
  
**Elly:** Thanks for the help!  
  
**Mystery Author: **No problem. _*Leaves fanfic*_  
  
**Barret:**Now, can we all go back inside?  
  
**Everyone: **Good idea _*Everyone is sick and tired of walking outside and inside, so they hope they get to stay inside*_  
  
**Ash:** So, we're right back where we were an hour ago. Only we have more guests.  
  
**Aeris: **That's me! _*winks*_  
  
**Cloud: **Uh Aeris, by the way, how did you come back from the dead?  
  
**Aeris: **Oh, I have a few aces up my sleeve.....  
  
**Cid:** It was the weirdest thing. She just showed up at my house and demanded to be taken to the party by means of the Highwind. She said something about that being a fantasy of hers.  
  
**Cloud:** Oh yeah, I promised her a ride on it before we met you.  
  
**Tifa: **YOU DID???? Grrrrrrrrrrr............. *Runs to Cloud and puts her arm over his shoulder*  
  
_Everyone notices the tension and needs a way to stop it- fast!_  
  
**Bart:** I KNOW! We should order a pizza!  
  
**Margie: **Great idea, cousin!  
  
**Cid:** I'll dial! _*Picks up phone*_ Hello, we'd like 20 pizzas, triple anchovies on all of them, we're 9999 RPG Lane....  
  
**Phone:** alnvpodsknvpoiuthgpaiojwvaskndaoisdhapoh[sdf  
  
**Cid:** WHAT? You're charging us extra because you have to drive extra far to deliver it?  
  
Phone: aosdvnplkscvnaiosudgyknsapokfpousfhwflkl;asdolzl;loaooas  
  
**Cid: **Yeah, whatever you *#%@&*! OK, bye. _*Hangs up phone*_ Well guys, the pizza's on it's way. You know, I could've sworn I recognized that voice from some video game. Oh well, probably just me.  
  
**Elly:** I know what we can do while we wait for our pizza?  
  
**Fei: **What is it, my sweet honey bunch? _*Everyone except Elly and Fei gags*_  
  
**Elly:** We should play Truth or Dare!  
  
**All females: **GREAT IDEA!!!!!! I LOVE TRUTH OR DARE!!!!!!!!  
  
**All males (except Ash):** Ugh, I hate truth or Dare. Let's go drink beer and get wasted instead.  
  
**Ash: **I like truth or dare! _*All the other males start to beat up Ash* _  
  
**Females: **All right, all of us and Ash will play! You guys go do whatever.....  
  
**Pikachu:** Pika Pika Pikachu Pi Chu! (I'm going into the Yggdrasil to hang out with Chu-chu)  
  
**Cloud: **Come on guys, let's go watch some porn.   
  
**Aeris: **Cloud! I'm disappointed in you!  
  
**Tifa: **And remember, you guys promised you wouldn't watch porn if we held this party! _*Gives them the finger*_  
  
**Margie:** Yeah, you promised!  
  
**Barret:** &%^$#*@^(@^*^*!!!!!!!!!!!!   
  
**Cid: ***$&@(*&%^((@*%& *&*&@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Fei:** I guess we'll just play your crappy game, then.  
  
**Females: **YES!!!!!!!!! Coed Truth or dare!!!!!!!  
  
**Margie: **Who gets to go first?  
  
**Elly: **We'll let the author decide.  
  
**Mystery Author:** Oh God, that's the second time I've been called in! Well, I want to nominate someone who hasn't caused too much trouble in this party yet. So, I nominate..............AERIS!!!!!!  
  
**Aeris:** Wow, thank you thank you, I really don't deserve this honor, I just want to thank all of the following people who helped me receive this wonderful nomination, first of all-  
  
**Cloud: **Aeris? _*Smiles*  
_  
**Aeris: **Yes Cloud?  
  
**Cloud: **Shut up!  
  
**Aeris: **Uh, sorry. OK, I'll first ask truth or dare to, uh,.......um, ASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ash, Truth or Dare?  
  
**Ash: **Hmm, well I've picked truth the last 11 times and gotten the exact same question, so I guess I'll pick dare.  
  
**Bart:** I can't believe you play this &%^(#@ game that often!  
  
**Ash: **Shaddup....  
  
**Aeris: **OK then, does anyone know how soon the pizza should be here? _*Cid glances up at the clock*_  
  
**Cid: **Probably a couple minutes from now, if Domino's estimates were correct.  
  
**Aeris: **Perfect! Ash, when the pizza guy gets here, I want you to give him or her a kiss and say, I Love you!!!!!  
  
**Ash: **EEWWWWWW!!!!!!!!! SICK!!!!! WHAT IF IT'S A GUY????  
  
**All males: **Gay fag, gay fag, haha, gay fag!  
  
**Margie: **This is shaping up to be an interesting evening......Doorbell rings  
**  
Fei: **Yay! Pizza's here!  
  
**Tifa: **Time for you to do the honors, Ash.  
  
**Ash:** Oh God, sigh, this is going to be a story to tell my grandkids someday, I guess. _*Opens door and, without noting who the deliverer is, gives her a kiss* _Honey, I love you!!!!!!  
  
**Pizza delivery girl:** You do? Ash? Takes off hat to reveal that she is........Misty!  
  
**Ash:** AHHHHH!!!!!! I just kissed MISTY!!!!!!! EWWW!!!!!!!  
  
**Aeris:** Congratulations on completing the dare, Ash!  
  
**Ash: ***%^@(&)%^*^(*&(*$)  
  
**Barret:** That's odd, I thought the kid didn't know how to swear.  
  
**Bart: **So, looks like another guest has arrived at our party. Did you come this way as a joke?  
  
**Misty: **Guest? Party? I'm just working for Dominos!  
  
**Fei: **I guess you didn't get Ash's invitation yet....  
  
**Ash: **Uh, hehe....  
  
**Margie:** ASH!!!!! You didn't invite her?  
  
**Misty: **You stupid jerk! _*Kicks Ash out the other window*_  
  
**Ash: **Why do I have to do this AGAIN in this part?  
  
**Elly: **So, anyway, welcome to the party! Now, can we get back to Truth or Dare?  
  
**Cid: **After seeing what happened to him, I don't really want to play.  
  
**Some other people:** I kind of agree.  
**  
Tifa: **OK, how about everyone who doesn't want to play leaves? _*Ash walks back in*_  
  
**Ash:** Owwww, I think I want to go hang out with Pikachu instead._ *Heads to the Yggdrasil*_  
  
**Cid:** I think I'm gonna turn in........ _*Goes up to a bedroom*_  
  
**Barret:** Cloud and I are going to go exploring....._ *walks outside to the forest*  
_  
**Fei: **Elly and I are going to the cellar to, uh, write stories!  
  
**Elly:** Yeah, write stories! _*Both get up and head to a bedroom*_  
  
**Margie: **Uh, the cellar is that way.  
  
**Elly and Fei:** Yeah, we know. _*Continues walking toward bedroom*_  
  
**Bart:** Uh, haven't you guys had enough of that today? _*Gets nasty looks from Elly and Fei*_  
  
**Aeris:** Leave them alone, Bart. Ahhhh, young love. It must be so sweet........  
  
**Misty: **So, who's left then? I just got here, was ready to play Truth or Dare, and everyone left!  
  
**Tifa: **Well, it looks like the following people are present: Aeris, Margie, Bart, Misty, and me.  
  
**Bart:** *&(%(^@#*!!!!! How did I get stuck playing this anyway?  
  
**Margie: **Cause I'm your cousin, and I'm a girl?  
  
**Aeris: **So, should we continue playing?  
  
**Misty: **Well, let's decide in part three whether we want to or not.  
  
**Tifa: **Good idea..............  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
_To Be Continued.........._  
  
  
  
  



	5. Part Three- "The Chick Fight"

**The RPG Party- Part 3: The Chick Fight**  


  


_Featuring Misty, Aeris, and Tifa  
_  


**Bart: **Well, now that it's part 3, I think we should decide. My vote is no!  
  
**Margie: **What time is it? _*Everyone glances at the clock*_  
  
**Tifa:** About 10 pm.  
  
**Misty: **In that case, let's keep playing. It's not too late yet! _*Everyone except Bart agrees*_  
  
**Bart: **&*#@^()%(&)*!!!!!!! Why doesn't anyone agree with me?  
  
**Voice from the door:** Because all the girls from Xenogears have decided to gang up on you, Bart! hehehehehehehehehe....._*Bart looks at the door, and everyone else does a second later. Standing at the door is a small girl.*_  
  
**Aeris:** Who are you?  
  
**Maria: **I'm Maria, from Xenogears. It looks like I arrived just in time for the classic Truth or Dare game.  
  
**Margie:** Yay! Maria's here!   
  
**Tifa:** Welcome, Maria. Would you like to start?  
  
**Maria:** Sure! I'd like to pick Bart!  
  
**Bart: **My god......this is so &^@(*&^$ embarrassing!  
  
**Maria:** Well, Truth or Dare?  
  
**Bart:** Uh, Truth, I guess.......  
  
**Maria: **Oooh, this is good. OK, I have a question for you. I'll try and stay away from that classic 'who do you like' deal. So instead I'll ask.....When did you lose your virginity?  
  
**Misty: **How old are you?  
  
**Maria:** 13  
  
**Aeris: **Yikes, you know about that already?  
  
**Tifa: **Kids really aren't that innocent anymore, Aeris _*grumbles at Aeris' naivete*_  
  
**Bart:** I'll admit it.......I haven't yet!!!!!!!!  
  
**All the girls:** hehehehe, what a loser! _*Start giggling*_  
  
**Maria: **OK then, who would you like to-  
  
**Bart:** Uh, isn't it one question only?  
  
**Maria: **Yeah, right, sorry. OK, your turn!  
  
**Bart: **Should I ask someone in Xenogears or not?  
  
**Margie: **NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Bart:** In that case, I pick Misty!  
  
**Misty: **Um, OK. Dare, I guess. And please, nothing to do with Ash!  
  
**Aeris: **OOOOh, I think she deserves a dare about Ash!  
  
**Bart: **Actually, I already have a dare in mind that doesn't have to do with Ash, it's-  
  
**Tifa:** I don't think I want to know.  
  
**Misty:** Just let me hear it!  
  
**Bart: **Then, here it is. I want you to go to Fei and Elly's room and ask for a copy of the story they said that they were going to write.  
  
**Misty:** That doesn't sound so bad.  
  
_Margie:_ Uh, I don't think you want to do that._ *Footsteps are heard coming into the house. Cloud and Barret have decided to return from their explorations.*_  
  
**Barret: **Did I hear that dare correctly?   
  
**Everyone:** Yeah.  
  
**Cloud:** EWWWWWW. That's a pretty *%&^#% dare to give to such a young girl.  
  
**Margie:** Actually, I'm not that much older than Misty, and earlier today I accidentally-  
  
**Maria: **Uh, Margie? I have a feeling this doesn't story won't sound good.  
  
**Misty:** Can I just do my dare? _*Walks around impatiently*_  
  
**Bart:** Yeah, just do it!   
  
_Misty walks upstairs. After hearing all these warnings from some of the other people about the dare, she decides to knock first._  
  
**Misty:** Hey guys, can I come in? This is Misty.  
  
**Fei and Elly:** NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Misty: **Oh, I get it. You're working so hard on your story that you won't let me come in.   
  
**Elly:** Story?  
  
**Misty: **Yeah, the one you said you were going to work on! It's my dare! Pretty please?  
  
**Fei: **&$^@#(&*%*&!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Misty:** Is that a yes?  
  
**Elly:** Uh, we decided not to write a story.  
  
**Fei:** Instead, we're, uh, cleaning the room!  
  
**Misty: **Well, then can I invite everyone in to see it?  
  
**Elly and Fei:** NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
  
**Misty: **All right then. Have fun "cleaning the room."  
  
**Elly and Fei: **_*Don't even hear and go back to 'cleaning the room' right away*_  
  
_Misty walks back to the main room, disappointed._  
  
**Bart:** So, how did it go?  
  
**Misty: **They're not writing a story, they're cleaning their room!  
  
**Barret: **Bullshit. Let me see _*Walks upstairs*_  
  
**Aeris: **Why did he have to do that? _*Everyone hears something faintly from the upstairs*_  
  
**Fei and Elly**: AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Barret: **Uh, I just wanted to see how clean the room was!  
  
**Fei: **Haha very &$*@%^ funny.   
  
**Elly: **The joke's over, now GET OUT!!!!!! _*Barret shuts the door and goes downstairs*_  
  
**Barret:** I guess we can continue the game now.  
  
**Aeris:** Barret, that was so mean!  
  
**Margie: **No kidding!  
  
**Misty**: OK, I 'd like to ask a question to- Tifa!!!!!! Truth or dare?  
  
**Tifa: **Truth. I hate dares!  
  
**Misty:** I'm glad you picked that! I've played your video game before and noticed something. Tifa, I have a question for you: Is Cloud more than just a friend?  
  
**Tifa: **I changed my mind. Can I pick dare?  
  
**Misty: **Sure, in that case, go give Cloud a kiss.  
  
**Cloud: **Huh? What? Did I just hear what I thought I heard? _*is ignored*_  
  
**Tifa: **Sure, sounds good! _*Goes over to Cloud, and instead of giving him a kiss, starts trying to make out with him*_  
  
**Cloud; **mljzxvcophaepknsad;lkjflkasoudf _*Breaks free*_ Hey, what are you doing? I thought only men committed sexual harassment crimes!   
  
**Tifa:** uh, hehe, just completing my dare, la di da..... _*Barret whistles*_  
  
**Aeris: **TIFA!!!!!! How dare you try and make out with my man?  
  
**Tifa: **Your man? You haven't known him since you were born! Besides, you're dead!  
  
**Aeris: **Not anymore! And at least I'm not a slut, like you!  
  
**Tifa: **Well, you're a bitch!!!  
  
**Aeris:** slut!  
  
**Tifa:** bitch!  
  
**Aeris: **slut!  
  
**Tifa:** bitch!  
  
**Cloud:** Uh, are they arguing over me?  
  
**Barret: **You're a little dense Cloud!  
  
**Aeris:** Slut!  
  
**Tifa:** bitch!  
  
**Bart:** Wait a minute, STOP THE CHICK FIGHT!!! _*Aeris and Tifa stop abruptly stop*_  
  
**Aeris and Tifa:** Why?  
  
**Bart:** Because the only way you can settle this is to have a physical fight in a ring!  
  
**Barret:** Hmm, we should settle all chick fights like that!  
  
**Margie:** Well, if it stops their constant glares.....  
  
**Misty: **Yeah, that actually doesn't sound like a bad idea.  
**  
Bart: **I'll go get Elly, Fei, and Cid, and Misty can go get Ash, Pikachu, and Chu-Chu. _*Both get up and leave and come back with who they were sent to get*  
_  
**Fei: **So, I hear there's a battle to be held! That's one thing I enjoy just as much as doing it with Elly!  
  
**Elly:** Grrrrrrrrrrrr......._*Glares at Fei*_  
  
**Fei: **Just kidding Elly!  
  
**Ash: **I can't wait! I've been talking to two animals this entire episode!  
  
**Pikachu**: PIKA PIKA!!!! (Fight, fight!) _*Barret directs everyone outside, where he has somehow managed to set up a boxing ring.*_  
  
**Barret:** Ok girls, here are the rules. Try to use physical fighting instead of swearing. The use of materia is not permitted. Limit breaks, however, can be used. The winner is the character who doesn't faint!  
  
**Maria: **Can we start the fight now?  
  
**Barret: **Sure. I'm referee. Girls, go to your side!   
  
**Aeris: **GRRRRRRRRR........  
  
**Tifa:** GRRRRRRRR......... _*Both walk to opposite ends*_  
  
**Barret:** THE FIGHT WILL NOW BEGIN!!!!!!!  
  
**Aeris: **All right slut, feel Aeris when she's ANGRY!!!! _*Hits Tifa with her rod*_  
  
**Tifa: **Do you think that actually hurt? You're so WEAK! _*Punches her hard*_  
**  
Aeris: **Ahhhhhhh!!!!! SLUT!!!!!! _*backs away*_  
  
**Tifa: **I see I have the upper hand when you don't have your materia! Take this, bitch! _*Snatches Aeris' weapon*_  
  
**Aeris:** Oh no! _*Backs toward corner*_  
  
**Elly: **Here Aeris, borrow my rod! _*Throws her rod up to Aeris*_  
  
**Aeris: **Thanks! TAKE THIS TIFA!!!!!!! _*Uses Elly's rod on Tifa.*_ Wow, this rod is stronger than mine!  
  
**Tifa:** Well, guess what you just did! Gave me a limit break! _*Uses her seven hit combo on Aeris*  
_  
**Aeris:** Owww, oh good, I have my limit, too! ***Uses seal evil on Tifa***  
  
**Tifa**: Hey wait a minute, I can't move....  
  
**Aeris: **That's right! Now, I'll finish you off!  
  
**Tifa: **BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
_It is, however, too late for Tifa. The fact that she can't move combined with Aeris' increased power leads to her ultimate downfall. Eventually, she faints._  
  
**Tifa: **AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Aeris: **Yay! I won!  
  
**Barret: **And the winner of this match is.....Aeris! _*Just then, Tifa wakes up*_  
  
**Tifa: **Huh? Where am I?  
  
**Aeris: **I just beat you! And Cloud is MINE!!!!!!  
  
**Tifa: **No *$^&@# fair!!!! How come you won?  
  
**Aeris:** Because the author likes me better, duh!  
  
**Tifa: **Yeah right! I want to hear it from the author!  
  
**Mystery Author: **All right, I admit it, I like Aeris better than Tifa.  
  
**Tifa: ***%^@#*!!!!!!! *_Sends the author into outer space.*_  
  
**Mystery Author:** Great! Now how am I going to write this?  
  
**Aeris:** And now, Cloud is all mine!!!!! _*Runs over to Cloud and gives him a kiss on the lips*_  
  
**Cloud:** zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, hey who just woke me up from my nap?  
  
**Cid: **You were sleeping the whole time?  
  
**Cloud:** Huh? What did I miss?  
  
**Aeris: **Tifa and I fought for you. And I won!  
  
**Cloud: **Huh? You vs. Tifa? You guys like me?  
  
**Aeris: **DUH!!!!!  
  
**Cloud:** Well, I uh hate to break it to you, but I, uh, like someone else.....  
  
**Tifa:** WHAT!!!!! We fought over you for nothing?  
  
**Cloud:** I guess so.  
  
**Ash:** Moron!  
  
**Pikachu:** Pika! (Moron!)  
  
**Chu-chu: **Moron!  
  
**Fei:** Moron!  
  
**Elly:** Moron!  
  
**Misty: **Moron!  
  
**Bart: **Moron!  
  
**Margie:** Moron!  
  
**Cloud:** I get the point, but why are you are calling me morons?  
  
**Cid: **Because they're gonna gang up on you now!  
  
**Cloud:** Huh? _*Sees Tifa and Aeris running toward him*_ Uh, girls, I'm sorry, uh....  
  
**Tifa:** Too late, you *@#%(^!!!!!  
  
**Aeris: **You're feeling the wrath of BOTH OF US!!!!! _*Both girls beat Cloud up*_  
  
**Cloud: **help me........_*Falls to the ground, unconscious*_  
  
**Maria: **I wonder who Cloud likes, then.  
  
**Mysterious voice:** I know who Cloud likes.  
  
**Everyone:** Who are you?  
  
**Mysterious voice:** I'll tell you in part four.  
  
**Everyone: **Will you tell us who he likes then, too?  
  
**Mysterious voice:** of course......  
  
**Ash:** In that case, this is the end of part 3!!!  
  
--------------------------------  
_To be continued......._  
  
  
  



	6. Part Four- "It Was All Sephiroth's Fault...

**The RPG Party- Part 4: It Was All Sephiroth's Fault!**  


  


_Featuring: Sephiroth, Cloud, Yuffie, and Billy  
_  


-------------------------------------  
  
**Cid:** Now that it's part 4, can we know who Cloud likes?  
  
**Mysterious voice**: First, I must reveal myself to you!   
  
**Ash:** All right, then just tell us!  
  
**Mysterious voice:** Here's a hint- Final Fantasy 7, bwahahahahahaha!!!!!!!  
  
**Barret:** Oh my *$&#^ god, it's-   
  
**Sephiroth: **Yes, I am the mighty Sephiroth!  
  
**Barret: **Oh, I thought he was Palmer...  
  
**Sephiroth: **YOU SHALL DIE FOR COMPARING ME TO THAT FAT *$&#^!!!!!!!!!!!! _*walks over to Cloud*_ Cloud, awaken!  
**  
Cloud:** Huh????  
  
**Sephiroth: **You are now under MY control!  
  
**Cloud: **Yes......oh.......great........Sephiroth....... _*bows to him*_  
  
**Bart:** Who the hell is this guy?  
  
**Margie: **Don't you ever play video games, Bart? He's the main villian of Final Fantasy 7! _*dramatic music*_  
  
**Sephiroth**: Now, my puppet, walk over to Barret! _*Cloud walks over to Barret*_  
  
**Tifa: **Uh oh, this looks bad...  
  
**Misty: **You know, that guy is hottttttttt!!!!! Oh, that silver hair........ _*Ash punches her* _ASH!!!!!  
  
**Ash:** You're supossed to like me, you moron!  
  
**Misty:** I am? No I'm not!!!!!!  
  
**Ash: **Yes you are!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Misty:** No I'm not!!!!!!!!  
  
**Ash: **Yes you are!!!!!!!  
  
**Fei:** Uh, could you please cut the &#*%@ fighting? We're trying to get something done here!  
  
**Misty and Ash: **Oops, sorry... _*both shut up*_  
  
**Cloud: **now........what........must..........I.........do..............master?  
  
**Sephiroth: **We must make Barret pay for calling me Palmer!  
  
**Cloud:** how........................master?  
  
**Sephiroth:** I would like you to, uh, oh yeah, sing Hanson!!!!!  
  
**Everyone: **NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! _*Everyone rushes out of room except Barret, who is cornered by Cloud and Sephiroth*_  
  
**Barret:** #&^@#!$%!!!!!!!!!! _*Tries to cover ears but is prevented by Sephiroth*_  
  
**Cloud: **yes..........Sephiroth.........._*Starts to sing at the top of his lungs* _MMMMMMMMBOP!!!!!!!!!! DOP WAY DOO WOP!!!!!!!!!! MMMBOP!!!!!! DOP WAY DOO WOP!!!!!!!!! YEAH YEAH!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Everyone from the other room:** CLOUD!!!!!!! YOUR VOICE *$&#^@ SUCKS!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Sephiroth: **Cloud, Stop singing!  
  
**Cloud: **Yes.........................mighty............Sephiroth........._*Stops*_  
  
**Barret:** Thank god  
  
**Sephiroth:** Now, you must pay more! Cloud, summon Hanson!  
  
**Cloud:** OK.........I.............will......_*Summons Hanson*_  
  
**Ike: **Hey! Wow! Someone actually wanted to hear our music!  
  
**Tay:** We'll perform a full concert for you!  
  
**Sephiroth: **Actually, I want you to sing to this guy so his brains explode.  
  
**Zac: ***#^&$@!!!!!!!!!! oh well, we get so few offers we'll do it anyway....And that psycho guy with the hair sticking up should join us to increase our sound.  
  
**Barret:** NO!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS *#^&@^$%@)!*#@$^*#@*&$)!#(*^@%# awful!!!!!!  
  
**Everyone from other room:** We're heading to the Yggdrasil!  
  
**Hanson and Cloud: **MMMBOP!!!!!! DOP WAY DOO WOP!!!!!!!! MMMBOP!!!!!!!!!! DOP WHY DOO WOP!!!!!!!!!! YEAH YEAH!!!!!!!!! MMMBOP!!!!!!!! DOP WHY DO WOP!!!!!!!!!!!! A DO IT OP WHY DO WOP!!!!!!!!!! DOP WHY DO!!!! OH YEAH!  
**  
Barret: **This is *&#^%@ killing my brain! Help me! Noo! My brain is exploding! Help! Noo, please!!!!!!! _*Barrets goes temporarily insane and passes out*_  
  
**Hanson:** Wow, we actually did something right!  
  
**Sephiroth: **Now, you must die, too! Your music sucks! _*Sucks Hanson into a vaccum cleaner*_  
  
**Hanson:** Uh-oh _*Disappears*_  
  
_Sephiroth: _Now, my work is done. I must leave and attend to my world domination plans. Goodbye, my puppet! _*Flies away, leaving Cloud asleep but out of the trance*_  
  
_A few minutes later, everyone decides that it should be over by then and comes back._  
  
**Elly:** Hey, what happened?   
  
**Tifa: **Cloud, hon, wake up! _*Taps him on shoulder*_  
  
**Aeris:** Sweetie, nap time's over! _*Gives him a kiss*_  
  
**Cloud:** mmmmmmmmmph........_*wakes up*_  
  
**Tifa:** Hey, how come he woke up to you!  
  
**Aeris:** Because the author likes me better, stupid!  
  
**Tifa: **Oh yeah, I forgot........  
  
**Bart: **Say Elly, doesn't this remind you of the guys in the Ethos dig site that put us to sleep and then gave us those damn wake up kisses?  
  
**Elly: **Oh yeah, it was pretty yucky being kissed by that fish!  
  
**Fei: **How come I don't remember this?  
  
**Margie: **Because you were sick in the Yggdrasil.....  
  
**Maria:** And while I wasn't a party member at the time, I hear you were being a split personality, you *$&^!!!!!!  
  
**Fei: **heh heh, sorry...  
  
**Cloud: **_*Now fully awake*_ Uh, why is Barret passed out with brains leaking of his head?  
  
**Ash: **It's a long story, Cloud....  
  
**Pikachu:** Pika pika! (No shit!)  
  
**Cid:** Let's just say it had to do with that &#^%*$@ Sephiroth...  
  
**Cloud:** SEPHIROTH!!!! Damn fool! He's such a &$#@*&^%@#*^!*&@*%#(*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! _*Continues swearing*_  
  
**Aeris: **Yeah, I think we would've passed out too if we'd stayed to hear you and Hanson sing Mmmbop together...  
  
**Cloud: **I was singing MMMBOP!?!?!?!?!? What the *&$$#^(@#%$(^@%&(^@#(*&!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Maria: **He'll wake up when their hypnotizing spell wears off.  
  
**Bart:** Speaking of Sephiroth, he never told us who you liked.  
  
**Everyone except Cloud: **You're right!!!!! That little *&#^@!!! _*everyone is mad at Sephiroth*_  
  
**Cloud: **Oh, I can tell you that, no biggie.  
  
**Ash:** So, who do you like, then?  
  
**Cloud: **Well, I kind of hate to admit this, but since that *&$#@($*@^#%^)(!% Sephiroth has made all of you curious, I'll admit it- Yuffie!  
  
**Everyone: **YUFFIE!!!!!!!! YOU LIKE YUFFIE? YUCK!!!!!!!! _*everyone runs to the bathroom*_  
  
**Yuffie:** Did i hear my name?  
  
**Everyone:** oh, uh, hi Yuffie.  
  
**Yuffie: **I decided to come to the party even though all of you are losers.  
  
**Misty: **You walked all the way here, alone?  
  
**Yuffie: **Nope, I had my bodyguard with me!  
  
**Aeris: **Why is this starting to sound familiar?  
  
**Tifa: **haha Aeris.  
  
**Fei:** So, who is your bodyguard?  
  
**Yuffie**: Allow me to introduce...........drum roll please................BILLY LEE BLACK!!!!!! _*Billy comes running into the house and performs an act with his gun*_  
  
**Bart, Margie, Maria, Fei, and Elly: **BILLY? Since when did you become a bodyguard?  
  
**Billy:** uh, since this morning.......  
  
**Yuffie: **Isn't he sexy?  
  
**Cloud: **Yuffie! Didn't you hear me proclaim my, uh, undying love for you?  
  
**Yuffie: **oh, I thought you hated me after I slapped you on that date we went on...  
  
**Aeris and Tifa: **Wait a minute! I thought you went on a date with ME that night!  
  
**Cloud: **Uh, hehe, I kinda went with all of you at different times.......*$^&*#@#%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Yuffie:** Well, too bad! Billy's my guy now!  
  
**Margie: **That girl is one big bitch......  
  
**Elly:** Yeah, I can't believe Billy fell for her act.  
  
**Billy: **Hey! I'm 16!  
  
**Elly:** I'm 18  
  
**Billy:** Oh.....................................forget it!!!!!!  
  
**Yuffie: **Come on upstairs with me, Billy willy.  
**  
Billy: **You guys have bedrooms upstairs, right?  
  
**Ash:** Yeah, why?  
  
**Yuffie:** Uh, just asking.....  
  
**Fei: **_*To Elly*_ Hey, are they trying to imitate us?  
  
**Elly: **_*To Fei*_ They just got here, stupid lovey dove!!!!  
  
**Bart:** I thought people as religious as you believed in no sex before marriage!  
  
**Billy:** Remember, the Etones were fake! So I'm not religious then! haha!  
  
**Aeris:** Oh my god........  
  
**Tifa:** Well, if you're going up, at least take Barret with you. _*gestures to Barret, still passed out*_  
  
**Yuffie: **Ugh, I never liked that guy anyway!  
  
**Billy:** I'll take him _*attemps to lift Barret*_ Damn! How much does this guy weigh?  
  
**Cloud:** A lot.....  
  
**Cid: **_*whispering to himself*_ ...more then you, you wimpy, girly looking bastard.  
  
**Misty:** Say, did you know that you look hot when you're pissed, Billy?  
  
**Ash: **Misty, you think every guy looks hot when he's pissed.  
  
**Misty: **Oh yeah, I'm a member of the pissed Nick Carter Club, the pissed Justin Timeberlake Club, the pissed Tiger Woods Club, the pissed Matt Damon club, the pissed Derek Jeter club......  
  
**Ash: **We get the point, Misty!  
  
**Misty:** Can't I name all 106?  
  
**Everyone:** NO!!!!!!!  
  
**Pikachu: **pikachu pi pi chu!!!!!! (I know how Barret can be woken up!)  
  
**Ash:** How, pikachu? _*Pikachu uses thundershock on Barret*_ Oh......  
  
**Barret**: Uh, where am I.......what am I........why do I exist.........hello world!!!!!!! _*Starts singing Cotton Eyed Joe while dancing on a table*_  
  
**Maria: **Whoops, looks like he's still insane.  
  
**Yuffie: **Well now that that's taken care of, Billy and I are gonna go have fun! Come on Billy! _*Pulls him upstairs*_  
  
**Barret: **Where did you come from, where did you go? Where did you come from cotten eyed Joe? hey hey hey hey!!! _*Suddenly snaps out of trance* _AHHHH!!!!!!!!! *(@#%^*&@%#^*@%!!!!!!! Why am I wearing a farming outfit and dancing on top of the table?  
  
**Cid: **Let's just say you were drunk and leave it at that.....  
  
**Barret: **OK, whatever...._*Shrugs*_  
  
_Just then, Billy and Yuffie come down, Billy in boxers and Yuffie in skimpy night clothes._  
  
**Billy: **We thought the bedroom was boring.   
  
**Yuffie: **So we were wondering if we could have fun on the Yggdrasil that Billy's been telling me about.  
  
**Billy:** Please Bart?  
  
**Bart:** Whatever. Suit yourself.  
  
**Yuffie and Billy: **YAY!!!!!!!!!!! *Run off to Yggdrasil*  
  
**Ash: **So now what can we do?  
  
**Misty: **WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Tifa: **What's wrong, Misty? _*Goes over to comfort her*_  
  
**Misty: **Billy......he's so hot, but he's never going to be mine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! _*continues crying*_  
  
**Elly: **You like Billy?  
  
**Misty:** Sniff, yes, sniff, I do!!!!!  
  
**Maria: **I don't blame you, he's an adorable guy. And sweet, too!  
  
**Misty:** Do you, sniff, think he might, sniff, like me?  
  
**Fei: **Well, he appears taken by- _*Stops talking when he hears sounds on the deck of the Yggdrasil*_  
  
**Billy: **YUFFIE!!!!!!!!! How dare you take my gear!  
  
**Yuffie: **haha, you thought I like you! Haha, all I wanted was your gear!  
  
**Billy:** NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! My prized posession! SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Margie: **Sounds like they aren't getting along Misty, maybe you have a chance!  
  
**Misty:** YES!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Cid: **Shouldn't we go get the gear from %$^#&@ Yuffie?  
  
**Barret:** Yeah, that #$@%^ girl.....always stealing something........  
  
**Elly: **We'd better hurry! Those things are even stronger than they look! _*Everyone runs to Yggdrasil to find Billy in his boxers screaming for his gear*_  
  
**Billy:** Thank god you guys came for help! Could you guys get in your gears and get my gear back?  
  
**Bart:** Yeah, just a sec! _*Everyone from Xenogears except Margie goes running to their gears*_  
  
**Ash: **You know, I've seen wacky things, but this takes the cake!  
  
**Pikachu: **Pika pi! (I agree!)  
  
_Suddenly, Yuffie comes roaring out!_  
  
**Yuffie:** Haha!!!!!!!! I'm going to get all the materia and money from eveyone! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!  
  
**Cloud: **YUFFIE!!!!!! I'll give you my materia!  
  
**Barret: **Mine too!  
  
**Tifa: **Same here!  
  
**Aeris: **And mine!  
  
**Cid:** how about the Highwind along with it?  
  
**Yuffie: **ALL RIGHT!!!!!!!! Now I'll get out of the gear!  
  
**Maria:** Not so fast!  
  
**Yuffie: **Huh? _*Turns around to see Seibzehn, Vierge, Xenogears, Brigandier, and an enormous Chu chu*_ AHHHH!!!!!!  
  
**Bart: **You're not getting away with this, Yuffie!  
  
**Fei: **Everyone, attack! _*Yuffie is surrounded and everyone moves in to attack*_  
  
**Yuffie: **(@%^(*&%@)(*#@!!!!!!!!!!! _*faints. Billy's gear crashes on several other gears, denting them and then falls on to the Yggdrasil, making it even more broken up*_  
  
**Billy: **My gear!  
  
**Elly:** My gear!  
  
**Maria:** My gear!  
  
**Fei: **My gear!  
  
**Chu-chu: **My enlarged body!  
  
**Bart: **My gear!  
  
**Margie: **The Yggdrasil!  
  
**Yuffie: **_*Wakes up from faint* _I may have not gotten away with it, but at least I destroyed everything!  
  
**Billy: **I can't believe I let her seduce me.  
  
**Cloud:** Relax. It happens to the best of us.   
  
**Aeris:** Misty, I think it's time....  
  
**Misty: **Uh, hi Billy, I uh, I think You're hot, uh will you, uh go out with me?  
  
**Billy: **uh...I guess so.  
  
**Misty: **YESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Ash: **NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! _*Misty kisses Billy*_  
  
**Everyone except Ash:** Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww  
  
**Ash: **How am I ever gonna let her see that- uh never mind.  
  
**Cid: **Whatever you wanted to do, you can do in part 5!  
  
**Ash: **Good point! None of these episodes have featured Pokemon yet, anyway! _*The Xenogears characters arrive*_  
  
**Elly:** Well, I have a good idea. Let's punt Yuffie to Jupiter!  
  
**Fei: **Good idea!_ *Climbs in his gear and kicks Yuffie out of party- literally*_  
  
**Yuffie: **AWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!! I wanted to stay!  
  
**Aeris and Tifa: **can't say I'll miss her.....  
  
**Barret: **Thank god she's gone....  
  
**Cid: **Yeah, things can't get wild with her gone.............or can they?  
  
**Margie:** I really don't want to know.....  
  
**Bart:** Who started all this, anyway?  
  
**Cloud:** It was all Sephiroth's fault, I swear!  
  
**Everyone:** Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuure........  
  
**Fei:** Next time, we've gotta get Cloud and emotion control device...........AND NO, I DON"T USE THE ONE CITAN GAVE ME ANYMORE!!!!!! I SWEAR!!!!!!  
  
**Everyone: **Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure.........  
  
-------------------------------------  
  
_To be continued............._  



	7. Part Five- "Everyone Wants Misty"

**The RPG Party- Part 5: Everyone Wants Misty  
**  
_Featuring Brock, Ash, Gary, James, Billy, and Misty_  
  


---------------------------------  
  
**Fei: **Hmmm, looks like things have significantly quieted down since I punted Yuffie.  
  
**Aeris: **If you ask me, things are tooooo quiet......  
  
**From the doorway: **I agree!  
  
**Misty:** BROCK!!!!!!!!!!! YOU CAME!!!!!!!!!!! *Runs over and hugs Brock*  
  
**Billy: **Uh, Misty, aren't we together?  
  
**Brock:** SHIT!!!!!  
  
**Everyone:** What?  
  
**Brock:** I was gonna ask Misty if- just *&$#^ forget it!  
  
**Elly: **My, Misty sure seems to be popular tonight.....  
  
**Misty: **Moi? That's cause I'm adorable! _*Gives an 'oh I'm so cute' grin*  
_  
**Billy, Brock, and Ash: **Mmmmmmmmmmm............  
  
**Margie: **Oh dear.....  
  
**Tifa: **Perhaps there's going to be too much excitement.  
  
**Cloud:** EXCITEMENT? I want Yuffie back! _*sob*  
_  
**Everyone:** HAHA!!!!! Yuffie Lover! You suck! Haha!  
  
**Cloud: **Shut the ^&*#$ up!  
  
**Cid:** _*Whispering to Ash* _Say Ash, didn't you want to get something done in part 5?  
  
**Ash:** _*Back to Cid*_ Oh yeah, I guess I did. hehe. _*Walks over to center of room* _Hey everyone, I have an announcement to make!  
  
**Pikachu:** Pika! (with me?)  
  
**Barret:** Is this some %&*#$ love connection show?  
  
**Ash: **Uh, sort of.......  
  
**Maria: **Great, just great, I hate that show.....  
  
**Ash: **Anyway, I picked tonight to proclaim my love to Misty! _*starts making kissing sounds*  
_  
**Cid: **&#$&*@!!!!!!! I knew I shouldn't have encouraged him to take a stand!  
  
**Billy: **You little asshole!!!! How dare you try to take away Misty from me? _*Goes over to Ash and starts punching him*  
_  
**Ash:** Owwwww!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Brock:** This is awful! I wanted to marry Misty! _*Everyone looks at him in surprise. He goes over and starts attempting to kill Billy*  
_  
**Bart: **Um, ahem......  
  
**Margie: **STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!!! _*Runs bravely inbetween the three people fighting*_ If you guys are going to fight for her, maybe you could continue this outside! And Misty, you go with them.  
  
**Misty:** When I said I wanted guys to like me, this wasn't what I envisioned......._*Groans as she walks outside, Followed by Brock, Billy, and Ash*  
_  
**Cid: **Thanks a lot! You just &*#$^ ruined another fight we could've watched!  
  
**Cloud:** I guess we should think of something else to do.  
  
**Bart: **I have a GREAT Idea!  
  
**Everyone:** What?  
  
**Bart: **Strip poker!  
  
**Tifa: **Wait a minute, what are you &$%#^ guys trying to do to me? _*All guys currently present start looking at a certain part of Tifa's body*_ Hey, stop looking at me!  
  
**Elly: **I hate strip poker, but seeing as there's nothing else to do......and I don't exactly have any Lara Croft body parts I'd be embarassed about...why not?  
  
**Aeris:** Um......ok, why not?  
  
**Males:** YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! _*Margie and Maria both look at each other and whisper*  
_  
**Margie:** Maria and I think we're a little young for this game, so we're going to hang out in the remnents of the Yggdrasil.  
  
**Maria: **Plus, we haven't started puberty, so you guys wouldn't enjoy our, um, features.....  
  
**Cid: **I'd have to agree, you two are exempted. _*Maria and Margie leave*  
_  
**Cloud:** Let's start!  
  
------------------------------------------  
  
_Meanwhile, Outside  
_  
**Billy: **You guys are gonna get a pounding! _*Shoots Ash and Brock*  
_  
**Brock: **No fair! I train pokemon, not fight!  
  
**Ash: **Pikachu, go! Pikachu steps forward Pikachu, Thunderbolt!   
  
**Pikachu:** PIKACHUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! _*Uses it, Billy falls down sideways*  
_  
**Billy:** you....guys....are......all...........ASSHOLES!!!!!! _*gets back up*  
_  
**Brock: **You're a son of a bitch!  
  
**Ash:** You both drink your own shit!  
  
**Misty: **Guys, isn't this starting to look a lot like the chick fight from part 3? _*Guys adbruptly stop*  
_  
**Brock:** We'd better listen to her, she's the one we're fighting over!  
  
**Ash: **We'll fight however you want us to, great Misty! _*The guys bow to her*  
_  
**Gary:**I want in on the fight, too!  
  
**Brock: **GARY!!!! You &%*($@^ like Misty, too? NOOOOO!!!!!!!!  
  
**Misty:** This is starting to scare me....  
  
**Billy: **Come on sweetie, make it a gun fight.  
  
**Gary,** Brock, Ash: Honey, make it a pokemon fight!  
  
**Misty:** Hmmmmm........_*Gets evil grin on her face* _You guys have to fight with your pokemon-  
  
**Billy:** I don't have any pokemon!  
  
**Misty:** Borrow some with that guy over there! _*Points at James, who has arrived silently*  
_  
**Ash: **James????  
  
**James: **I can to see the big fight. He can borrow Wheezing and Meowth if it make the fight dirtier.  
  
**Gary:** JAMES, YOU SUCK!!!!!  
  
**Misty: **You guys never let me finish my sentence!  
  
**Brock:** Sorry Misty, continue.......  
  
**Misty:** Anyway, You guys have to fight with your pokemon, in your underwear!  
  
**Guys:** YUCK!!!!!!! I'm not gay!!!!!!!  
  
**Misty: **Too bad! Oh by the way, only one pokemon per person, bwahahaha!!!!!!!  
  
**Cheerleaders: **Gary, Gary, he's our man, if he can't win it, nobody can!  
  
**Brock, Billy, and Ash:** We'll see about that you &^%#$@!!!!!!!!  
  
**Misty: **The fight for MOI begins RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!! _*All guys strip to boxers and get ready to call pokemon*  
_  
----------------------------------  
  
_Back inside the main room...  
_  
**Barret: **All right loosahs, the cards are dealt out......remember, the loser and anyone that folds have to take off a piece of clothing! _*Everyone decides not to fold*  
_  
**Cloud, Elly, Bart:** _*Takes two cards*  
_  
**Cid, Barret:** _*Takes three cards*  
_  
**Fei, Aeris:** _*Takes one card*  
_  
**Tifa:** _*Takes five cards*  
_  
**Cloud: **Wow, you must've had a bad hand!  
  
**Tifa: **Grump, don't remind me.....  
  
**Barret:** Reveal zee cahds!!!!!!!!!! I have a full house!  
  
**Cloud and Aeris:** Four of a kind  
  
**Fei:** Three 6s  
  
**Bart: **A straight!  
  
**Elly:** Two queens  
  
**Cid: **Two 8s  
  
**Tifa: **Two 4s.......&$#&%^@#$^!!!!!!! This means I've gotta take off something, right?  
  
**Everyone: **Yup. _*Guys start drooling at her...*  
_  
**Tifa: **OK then, I'm gonna take off my- SHOES!!!!!! _*Guys groan*  
_  
**Bart:** Aww, man......  
  
**Barret:** Hand me the &@^@%# cards, time for the next round to start!  
  
-----------------------  
  
_Back outside in the fight  
_  
**Ash:** Pikachu, I choose you! _*Pikachu comes running forward*  
_  
**Brock:** Vulpix, I choose you! _*Comes out of pokeball*  
_  
**Gary:** Dugtrio, I choose you!  
  
**Misty: **When did you get a dugtrio?  
  
**Gary: **In the episode where we saved the Digletts, my lady!  
  
**Misty:** Oh, just wondering._ *Decides she really doesn't want Gary to win*  
_  
**Billy: **Uh, how do I call it?  
  
**James:** Here, I'll do it for you. Wheezing, go! _*Wheezing comes out* _You've got to obey Billy's commands over there!  
  
**Meowth:** Or else I'll scratch you!  
  
**Brock:** Vulpix, Fire Spin on Wheezing!   
  
**Vulpix: **Vul vul vulpix! _*Uses firespin*  
_  
**Wheezing:** Wheez......_*Falls over*  
_  
**Billy: **JAMES? What do I &%*$#&* do??  
  
**James:** Use a potion!  
  
**Billy:** Ok, here you go wheezing. _*Tosses potion on him*_ Now can I attack?  
  
**James:** No, you took your turn using a potion.  
  
**Billy: **&%$*#@!!!!!  
  
**Ash: **Pikachu, quick attack on Dugtrio!  
  
**Pikachu: **PIKA!!!!!!!!! _*uses it on him*  
_  
**Dugrtio:** Dug dug _*Dodges attack*  
_  
**Ash: **How come it didn't affect Dugtrio? AHHHH!!!!  
  
**Gary:** Pikachu's quick attack is no match for my Dugtrio's speed! Dugtrio,Dig on Pikachu!  
  
**Pikachu:** _*Starts getting dizzy*_ Pika...........  
  
**Ash:** Pikachu! No! Stay awake!  
  
**Misty: **hehehehe, round one is over!  
  
**Billy: **Who won?  
  
**Misty: **It's a tie!  
  
**Brock: **WHAT? I %$&@$ obviously won!  
  
**Gary:** I thought so too!  
  
**Misty: **hehe, get ready for round two! Oh, but put on your pants please, I wasn't expecting a certain part of your body to bulge up during a pokemon fight! _*Gags and the guys look down*  
_  
  
**All guys:** EWWW!!!!!!! BUT WE AREN'T GAY!!!!!!! _*Put on pants in embarassment*  
_  
**Misty: **All right, five minute break!  
  
---------------------------------  
  
_Back inside with the strip poker game  
_  
**Barret: **I have a ROYAL FLUSH!  
  
**Cloud: **Triple Jacks  
  
**Aeris**: double Kings  
  
**Tifa: **single queen  
  
**Bart:** full house  
  
**Elly: **double 8s  
  
**Fei: **quadruple 2s  
  
**Tifa: **WAIT A MINUTE!!!!!!!!! I LOST AGAIN!!!!!!   
  
**Barret:** Hehe guess so  
  
**Tifa:** &$%#$!!!!!! Why am I the ONLY person who has lost? I've taken off my shoes, socks, and shirt, now I've gotta take off my pants and sit around in my underwear! Is this rigged?  
  
**Cloud: **Uh, well, um, hehe, well.....  
  
**Tifa: **I KNEW IT!!!!!!!!!! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr _*socks Cloud in the stomach*  
_  
**Cloud:** Ouch! _*coughs up blood*  
_  
**Elly:** Guys, that is so unfair! I won't play if you keep making Tifa lose on purpose.  
  
**Aeris:** Me either!  
  
**Cid: **Ok, ok, we'll &*#$^@ play fairly.  
  
**Barret:** Hand me the cards, and we'll start the next round!  
  
----------------------------------  
  
_ Outside at the fight  
_  
**Misty: **OK, time for round two! For this round, you've gotta pick a new pokemon, and you each get two turns!  
  
**Brock: **We have to pick a different pokemon! &%$#@*&@%!!!!!   
  
**Misty:** Just beepin shut up and pick another pokemon. _*Clearly is enjoying her popularity*  
_  
**Ash: **Bulbasaur, I choose you!  
  
**Brock:** Geodude, I choose you!  
  
**Gary: **Charmander, I choose you!  
  
**Billy:** Uh, do you have any other pokemon, James?  
  
**James: **Uh, Meowth....  
  
**Meowth:** No! I don't wanna fight! Help help help!  
  
**James:** _*Whispering to Meowth*_ You've got to stir up a good fight! Round one sucked!  
  
**Meowth: **OK, whatever......_*Goes to Billy*  
_  
**Misty:** Now, start!  
  
**Ash: **Bulbasaur, use your razor leaf attack on Geodude!  
  
**Geodude: **_*Gasps for air* _Geo.........  
  
**Brock: **No fair! Geodude, defend!!!!!  
  
**Gary: **Charmander, ember on bulbasaur!   
  
**Bulbasaur:** ugh..._*Burns*  
_  
**Ash: **Bulbasaur, remain strong!!!  
  
**Billy:** Uh, whatever your name is, do whatever you want.  
  
**Meowth:** Grrrrr........._*Starts using scratch attack on every single pokemon over and over again*  
_  
**James:** Go, Meowth! This is what I call a fight!! _*Meowth continues for another minute until all the other pokemon are completely destroyed*  
_  
**Ash: **BULBASAUR!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Gary: **CHARMANDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Brock: **GEODUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**All 3: **&@*^%*@$^%&@*%^!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Misty:** Looks like I get to announce this round's winner   
  
**Billy:** Me of course! _*Starts grinning and clapping*  
_  
**Misty:** Actually, it's a tie!  
  
**Everyone: **&$%*^#@!!!!!!!!!!!!   
  
**Gary:** Does anyone here think Misty is enjoying watching us more than actually wanting a boyfriend  
  
**Misty:** hehe....  
  
**Brock:** MISTY!!!  
  
**Ash: **Brock, she may not like us, but we like her!  
  
**Brock:** Good point!  
  
**Misty:** Round three begins in 10 minutes!  
  
------------------------------------------------------  
  
_With Margie, Maria, and Chu-chu in the Yggdrasil  
_  
**Margie:** Ha! Looks like I just won speed for the 10th time in a row!  
  
**Maria: **But I won war 15 times perviously!  
  
**Chu-chu: **Both of chu are very impressive.  
  
**Margie:** What games haven't we played?  
  
**Maria:** Hmm, we've played spit, speed, war, chowder, bloody knuckles, bullshit, egyptian rat screw, slap jack, I think that covers just about everything we know....  
  
**Chu-chu: **Chu play a lot of card games!  
  
**Margie:** We haven't played poker yet.  
  
**Maria: **Ugh, I don't even want to think about poker, after remembering that they're playing strip poker in the main room of the cabin.  
  
**Margie: **Yeah, it sucks being some of the youngest kids here.  
  
**Maria: **So, what should we do?  
  
**Chu-chu: **Chu could watch the pokemon fight for Misty.  
  
**Margie: **Actually, that sounds pretty fun.  
  
**Maria: **Come on Margie, let's go! _*Both start running for the 'battlefield'*  
_  
**Chu-chu:** Have fun, chu guys!  
  
--------------------------------------  
  
_Back in strip poker  
_  
**Barret:** Oh damn, looks like I lost in this round! Guess I have to take off boxers _*takes off boxers*  
_  
**Aeris:** Yikes! He's naked!  
  
**Cid: **Well, most of use have been &$#%# naked for a long time!  
  
**Tifa**: Yeah really! It's getting pretty annoying, having to %#$@ cover myself!!!! _*all guys have been staring at her the entire time, except Fei*  
_  
**Bart: **How is it you haven't managed to lose, Aeris?  
  
**Aeris:** Beginner's luck, I guess.  
  
**Cloud: **Lucky! If I lose again, I have to discard my sword, which is the only thing covering me!  
  
**Fei:** _*to Elly*_ oooooh, you look great when you're naked.  
  
**Elly: **You too, Fei! You look soooooooooo sexy!  
  
**Fei:** Ooooh, you're getting me turned on, Elly.  
  
**Elly:** mmmmm, me too!  
  
**Fei:** Oh, I want you, I want you!  
  
**Elly:** I'm starting to get sweaty! _*Gives Fei a kiss*  
_  
**Barret:** Um, author?  
  
**Mystery Author:** Yes?  
  
**Barret:** If you keep broadcasting what they're doing on paper, won't you have to rate this an R?  
  
**Mystery Author:** Whoops. We'll just say they're doing what they're doing and leave it at that. _*leaves*  
_  
**Cid:** Oh, my god, I'm starting to get turned on!  
  
**Bart: **Me too!  
  
**Cloud: **Same here?  
  
**Tifa: **By what?  
  
**Cid, Cloud, Bart:** BY YOU NAKED!!!!!!! _*Close on Tifa*  
_  
**Tifa: **EEEEKKKKK!!!!!!!!!! RAPE!!!!!!!!!! _*runs away with three horomone crazy guys following her*  
_  
**Cloud:** I decided I really do like you, Tifa!  
  
**Tifa: **%$@@$*^!!!!!!!!! _*Runs into the bathroom and locks it*  
_  
**Bart: **Shit, she's gone!  
  
**Cid:** Oh well, we have to keep playing until everyone is naked right Fei and Elly?  
  
**Fei and Elly: ***_completely don't hear*  
_  
**Cloud: **Fei? Elly?  
  
**Fei and Elly:** _*It has been determined that if the author wrote the truth of what was happening, the government would sue her, she'd go temporarily insane, and would be forced to die an evil death in the electric chair*  
_  
**Aeis: **Oh, leave them alone, all of us still here and not distracted can continue playing!  
  
**Barret:** Good. Now *(@$^*&@^%* hand me the cards!  
  
-------------------------------  
  
_Back at the pokemon fight  
_  
**Misty:** Round three is now beginning!  
  
**Ash: **Pidgiotto, I choose you!  
  
**Brock**: Onix, I choose you!  
  
**Gary: **Eevee, I choose you!  
  
**Billy: **I choose whatever James has left.  
  
**James: **Here, take Lickatung. Lickatung, I choose you!  
  
**Ash:** Pidgiotto, use your gust attack on everyone!  
  
**All other pokemon: **_*Are blown away, then return and hit the ground hard*  
_  
**Billy:** Likatoung, do something! _*Somehow manages to make Eevee's brains ooze out*  
_  
**Eevee:** _*drops to the ground dead, but Gary doesn't notice*  
_  
**Misty: **Uh Gary? Your pokemon just dropped dead on the floor. Uh, Gary?  
  
**Ash: **Wow, Brock is out of it too! I wonder what they're looking at...... *_Maria and Margie appear*  
_  
**Margie:** Hey guys!  
  
**Maria: **We came to watch you all fight for Misty!  
  
**Misty:** It appears the fight has stopped.  
  
**Brock:** Oooooh, Margie, you're soooooooooooo fine! _*drools*  
_  
**Margie:** Um, OK.....  
  
**Gary**: Wow, Maria, I love you! And you're near my age!  
  
**Maria:** _*To Margie*_ they're scaring me!  
  
**Margie**: _*To Maria*_ Yeah. What do you say we throw them out?  
  
**Maria**: Good idea! _*Lifts up Gary*_ PREPARE TO DIE!!!!!!  
  
**Margie:** _*Pinches Brock and manages to lift him up* _YOU TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_ *Both throw their respective guys, well, somewhere*  
_  
**Misty:** You guys are strong!  
  
**Margie: **Thank you, thank you _*bows*  
_  
**Ash:** Looks like only you and I are left, Billy.  
  
**Billy:** I intend to keep my girl!!! Now, we're fighting! WITHOUT these $%&#$* pokemon!!!!!_ *Pulls out his gun at Ash*  
_  
**James:** HOOT HOOT!!!!! FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!!!!!!   
  
**Maria:** Yuck, this looks ugly.....  
  
**Margie:** No kidding.....  
  
**Ash:** Uh-oh_ *Just as he's about to faint, a jeep is heard approaching. Two people walk out of it.*  
_  
**Jessie:** James! What are you doing here?  
  
**James: **&*^%@*&!!!! Shit! You found me!  
  
**Jessie: **You're late for your blue haired people anonymous meeting! Hurry up! *_Drags him into jeep*  
_  
**James:** Uh, bye everyone..... _*A second figure emerges*  
_  
**Ramsus:** BILLY!!!!!!! You're delaying us! Stop that *@($! Fight!!!!!  
  
**Billy**: Why?  
  
**Ramsus:** We're late for our white-haired people anonymous meeting!  
  
**Billy:** STOP REMINDING ME THAT I HAVE @#%%@! white hair!!! And I hate being the youngest member!  
  
**Margie:** Hehe, now I have something to blackmail you with, Billy!  
  
**Ramsus: **_*drags Billy to jeep*_ Sephiroth and me don't like you being a no show!  
  
**Billy: **Oh @&*%(^@, now I lost the Misty contest! _*Jeep leaves*  
_  
**Maria:** Looks like Ash has won by default....  
  
**Ash: **Huh? I won? Oh yeah! I did win! All right! I outclassed the competition!  
  
**Misty: **Ash, you won by default......  
  
**Ash: **Who cares? I got Misty, I got Misty- wait, what am I saying? I can't tell anyone I like Misty! NOOO!!!!!! _*He and Pikachu run inside* _Hey guys, I-  
  
**Misty, Maria, and Margie: ***_Follow him inside*_ Eww, everyone is naked and asleep!  
  
**Ash: **Oh my god!!!!!!!!! _*Runs out*  
_  
**Misty:** Sigh, what a crazy boyfriend......  
  
**Maria:** Well, seeing as the three of us are the only sane members left, how about we end this episode?  
  
**Margie: **Yeah, really. Maybe part 6 will be a bit less sick....  
  
**Misty: **God, I sure hope so!  
  
---------------------------------  
  
_To be continued......._  
  
  



	8. Part Six- "The Party Pooper Arrives"

**The RPG Party- Part 6: The Party Pooper Arrives  
**  
_Featuring Vincent......and guest appearences by Titanic and several singers  
_  


---------------------------  
  
_Luckily, thanks to Misty, Maria, and Margie, all the strip poker players have agreed to go back to having fun that doesn't need to be censored. In fact, maybe the fun is a bit tooooo uncensored...  
_  
**Aeris: **All right, now you pick a card, Fei!  
  
**Fei:** Oh, I picked a SORRY card! Looks like I'm going to knock someone off. _*removes Ash's piece*  
_  
**Ash: **Hey, I was about to get my final piece in my safety zone!  
  
**Misty: **That's the point, boyfriend. _*Puts her arm around Ash*_  
  
**Ash: **I'm starting to wish I hadn't won that contest...  
  
**Barret:** Yatzee!!  
  
**Maria: **Um, Barret, are you playing the right game?  
  
**Barret:** Oops, but who stuck a card that said Yahtzee in the Sorry card deck?  
  
**Everyone:** Him! _*Points at Cid*_  
  
**Cid: **This is getting soooo @#$%$# boring, though.   
  
**Tifa**: But you know the author wants to keep this episode down to PG. So, no strip poker!  
  
**Cloud:** Whose brilliant idea was that game, anyway?  
  
**Everyone:** HIS!! _*Points at Bart*_  
  
**Bart:** Uh, hehe, nobody else had any better ideas!  
  
**Misty:** Well, I preferred watching them fight over me.  
  
**Elly: **Say, what happened to Brock, by the way?  
  
**Margie:** Uh, well...  
  
**Maria: **Margie and I kinda threw him out by his hair.   
  
**Fei: **Oh, OK. Not that I care...  
  
**Barret: **Not that any of you care about this board game.  
  
**Aeris:** I do! Let's all have fun, play games, be free, enjoy life, imagine-  
  
**Cloud: **Aeris, puh-leaze. _*Aeris stops*_  
  
**Cid: **Well, what else are we gonna &#$*& do?  
  
**Vincent: **I have come for that purpose.  
  
**Everyone: **Yikes! Vincent's here!  
  
**Vincent:** Is that emotion I detect? You shameless humans, emotion......  
  
**Tifa: **What's wrong with emotion?  
  
**Vincent: **Anything I don't use is wrong.....humans are pathetic...  
  
**Ash: **Oh, um, OK. But you're supossed to have emotion at parties!  
  
**Vincent: **Why was I invited to this 'party' then?  
  
**Maria:** Easy question! Why don't we answer it! _*Everyone stands up and starts dancing*_  
  
**Everyone:** Every party needs a pooper, that's why we invited you! Every party needs a pooper, that's why we invited you! Every   
party needs a pooper, that's why we invited you! _*Sits down, although the board game has been topped over by the pathetic dancing efforts of some members*_  
  
**Vincent:** What is this 'party pooper?' Does that mean I am a god? Humans.......god worshiping fellows.....  
  
**Barret:** Actually, I think it means that you spoil the party. Or, you 'poop' it.  
  
**Margie: **Precisely.  
  
**Vincent:** I must stand in a dark corner by myself. _*Walks into the corner and starts ramming his head in the wall*_  
  
**Fei: **That guy is a bit odd.   
  
**Vincent:** _*Is humming to himself while starting at the corner*_  
  
**Misty:** How did you tolerate him, Cloud?  
  
**Cloud:** Well, it's wasn't easy, but I'm the master of restraining people!  
  
**Tifa: **So that's why I had to go through those memories with you to straighten you out, right Cloud?  
  
**Cloud: **Tifa, you're embarassing me!  
  
**Cid:** This game is so &#^%*#%*& boring! Is there anything else we can play?  
  
**Elly: **Well, these are our choices: Candyland, Yahtzee, Uno, Rack-o, Life, and Monopoly.  
  
**Barret: **That's all? Those are games I'd play with Marlene, not my peers!  
  
**Ash: **I like all of those games, especially- _*Maria clamps hand over Ash's mouth*_  
  
**Maria:** We all want to do something else!  
  
**Vincent: **Humans....pathetic forms of entertainment.....  
  
**Aeris: **In that case, do you have any ideas Vincent?  
  
**Vincent:** Indeed.....must shed party pooper label.....  
  
**Fei: **What are you going to do first, Vincent.  
  
**Vincent: **Make......my kind.....appear... _*Waves hand and out pops Emeralda!*_  
  
**Emeralda:** Uh, hi guys, how did I get here?  
  
**Bart:** Long story, don't ask...  
  
**Emeralda:** I was planning to come to this party, but I didn't expect to be whisked here!  
  
**Elly:** Well, as Bart said, long story.  
  
**Barret: **I don't think that was impressive enough!  
  
**Vincent:** Will make something else appear... _*Waves hand and out comes...Lord Godo!*_  
  
**Lord Godo: **Fianlly! I'm at this party!  
  
**Cloud:** I don't remember inviting you...  
  
**Lord Godo: **You didn't! You invited Yuffie, and she invited me! How dare you kick my precious little poopsie out of your exciting party? Not only her, but her bodyguard!  
  
**Margie**: Actually, Billy had a hair meeting to attend..._ *Starts laughing hysterically*_  
  
**Misty:** Don't ask...  
  
**Lord Godo: **I demand you all allow me to take Yuffie back and give her an apology for your behavior!  
  
**Everyone: **NO WAY!!!!!!!  
  
**Tifa: **You must be joking!  
  
**Barret: **I Wouldn't let that &%@^& back if my life depended on it!  
  
**Lord Godo: **If you don't, you will feel the wrath of LORD GODO!!!  
  
**Ash: **Oooooh, you're really starting to give us all the heapy-jitters... _*Lord Godo waves his very large fist at Ash*_ Um, actually you're very very scary!  
  
**Lord Godo: **I WILL PUNISH YOU ETERNAL SINNERS FOR YOUR WRONGDOINGS!!! DIE!!!!!! _*nobody moves*_  
  
**Bart: **You're not scary at all.  
  
**Fei: **I think even Yuffie had the upper hand in fighting skills over you!  
  
**Lord Godo: **WHAT????? HOW DARE YOU SAY SUCH A THING!!!!!!!!! _*Starts shaking uncontrollably*_  
  
**Aeris:** hehehehehehehe!!!!! _*starts laughing at him*_  
  
**Elly:** I bet you can really hurt us!  
  
**Lord Godo:** RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! _*Starts turning red*_  
  
**Cid: **Are you going to &%^@#$ explode?  
  
**Emeralda: **You look rather hot. Should I take your temperature?  
  
**Lord Godo:** FINALLY!! I AM MAD ENOUGH TO USE MY FINAL ATTACK!!!!!  
  
**Cloud: **Final attack? What do you do, explode?  
  
**Misty:** I think he's gonig to act like an electrode!  
  
**Lord Godo:** WRONG!!!!! WRONG!!!!!! LEVIATHON, GO!!!!!!!!! _*Leviathon is summoned, and the entire cabin is engulfed in water,   
nearly drowning everyone*_  
  
**Maria: **Cough! Hack, hack!  
  
**Bart: **That.....was.....painful  
  
**Ash: **Help........me  
  
**Tifa:** I think we should've listened to his warnings!  
  
**Everyone: **Uh-huh.  
  
**Barret:** Vincent, help us!  
  
**Vincent: **Must.....stop reputation..... _*Waves hand and summons thousands of squirtles*_  
  
**Squirtles:** Squirtle! Squirtle squirtle! _*Attach on to party members and carry them outside. Everyone makes it just in time*_  
  
**Ash: **Hey! I could've used my own squirtle!  
  
**Misty: **And I had Starmie and Staryu!  
  
**Cid:** What the &^@% happened to Lord Godo, anyway?  
  
**Fei:** I think he really did explode...  
  
**Vincent: **Actually, I made him dissapear.....  
  
**Elly:** So why didn't you make the water disspear?  
  
**Vincent:** Will.....discover.....in......a......minute.....  
  
**Barret: **Can't you ever act normally? _*No answer* _Guess not.....  
  
**Squirtles:** Squirtle, squirtle! _*start dancing around Vincent*_  
  
**Vincent: **I have been given the sign to start my next act. _*Waves his hand. The squirtles dissapear, and in their place appears the   
main characters of the Titanic*_  
  
**Jack: **Oh Rose, that was a very bad thing for you to do! You should have gone in the lifeboat!  
  
**Rose: **But Jack I would never be able to leave you! Let us find a way to escape!  
  
**Jack: **Go to the end of the boat! Hold on!  
  
**Rose:** I will do anything for you! _*Both run inside to the water filled house*_  
  
**Jack:** Glug, it went under quicker than I, glug, expected!  
  
**Rose: **Look Jack, a plank! Let us climb on it!   
  
**Jack: **Oh dear, I can't get on it! I will freeze to death!  
  
**Rose: **No! Jack, don't die! You must not die!   
  
**Bart:** This is really boring!  
  
**Margie:** BOOOO!!!!!! BOOOOO!!!!!!!  
  
**Vincent:** I....thought....human....females....likes......Jack.....  
  
**All females:** NO WAY!!! HE'S AWFUL!!! WE'RE SOOOOOOO OVER HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Vincent: **In that case, must......summon....those....popular....with.....females.... _*Waves hand. Out of it appears Ricky Martin, 98 Degrees, the Backstreet Boys, N'Sync, and 5ive. The Titanic crew disappears*_  
  
**Misty: **EEEEEK!!!!! Justin from N'Sync! _*runs over to him*_  
  
**Margie:** EEEEEK!!!!!! Nick from the BSB! _*runs over to him*_  
  
**Tifa:** EEEEEEEK!!!!! Jeff from 98 Degrees! _*runs over to him*_  
  
**Aeris: **EEEEEEK!!!!! Ricky Martin! _*runs over to him*_  
  
**Maria: **EEEEEEK!!!! The 5ive band! [I have no idea what their names are] _*runs over to them*_  
  
**Kevin: **Hey, what about the rest of the Backstreet Boys!  
  
**Lance:** Did they forget there were four more members of N'Sync?  
  
**Nick (from 98 degrees):** I don't know why Jeff is getting all the attention!  
  
**Kevin, Lance, Nick:** *&@%*&@^$%*&@#%^#@*%&^@#*% ^!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Elly: **Oh Fei, I'm the only one loyal to my boyfriend. _*hugs him*_  
  
**Fei: **Say Elly, want to head over to that grove of trees?_ *evil grin*_  
  
**Elly:** I'd love to, but the episode is only rated PG! So maybe next episode.  
  
**Fei: **Sounds good!  
  
**Vincent:** Must....be.....popular.....  
  
**Misty, Margie, Tifa, Aeris, Maria:** VINCENT, YOU ARE THE COOLEST!!!!!  
  
**Emeralda: **Vincent! You didn't give me a guy!  
  
**Cid:** How come you aren't giving the guys hot female singers to make out with?  
  
**Cloud:** If the girls got guys, we should get girls!  
  
**Vincent: **Well....do.....anything.....to......become......popular.... _*Waves hand and out appears Jordan Knight, Britney Spears,   
Christina Aguilera, B*witched, TLC, and Mandy Moore*_  
  
**Emeralda:** EEEEEK!!!!! Jordan Knight! Thanks Vincent! _*runs over to him*_  
  
**Cloud:** WOW!!!!!!!!!!! Britney Spears! _*runs over to her*_  
  
**Bart: **WOW!!!!!!!!! Christina Aguilera!_ *runs over to her*_  
  
**Barret:** WOW!!!!!!!! Mandy Moore! _*runs over to her*_  
  
**Cid: **WOW!!!!!!!!!! TLC!_ *runs over to them*  
_  
**Ash:**Uh, am I supossed to be in love with B*witched?  
  
**Pikachu:** Pika! (yup!)  
  
**Ash: **OK, I'll pretend to be. WOW!!!!! B*witched! _*runs over to them*_  
  
**Britney Spears:** Wait a minute! These men are taking advantage of us!  
  
**Mandy Moore:** Come on, girl power! Let's get them!  
  
**Christina Aguilera**: On 3! 1......2.............3! _*All females slap their respective guy and then vanish*_  
  
**Fei:** I'm glad I stayed with you Elly.....I know you'd never do that!  
  
**Elly:** Hmmmm.......uh, actually....  
  
**Fei:** Oh.  
  
**All other guys:** VINCENT!! YOU CHEATED US!!!!!!  
  
**Vincent**: Boy bands....give.....concert.  
  
**N'Sync:** Great idea! We'll give it!  
  
**Backstreet Boys:** No, we will!  
  
**98 Degrees: **We're better than all of you!  
  
**5ive: **We may not be well known now, but our voices are better!  
  
**Ricky Martin:** I'm the most popular!  
  
**Misty: **Guys, stop fighting! _*All guys stop*_  
  
**Maria:** We think that all of you should sing at the same time!  
  
**Margie:** Yeah!  
  
**Cid:** Wait a minute! Why did you have to &@$%^* stop them?  
  
**Barret: **It was so nice that they were too busy singing to play their songs for us.  
  
**Ash: **Blech! I'm gonna puke if I hear them!  
  
**Emeralda: **Well too bad, they're singing for us!  
  
**Boy Bands: **All right! Here comes the songs! _*Suddenly, the guys begin singing. Every once in a while throughout the chaotic mess their sounds sound like all together, it is possible to hear notes of "Tearin up my heart," I Want it That A Way," "The Hardest Thing," "When the Lights Go Out," and "Livin La Vida Loca."*_  
  
**Ash:** Yuccccck.... _*Pukes all over Pikachu*_  
  
**Pikachu: **Pikachu Pika! _*Thanks a lot, Ash!*_  
  
**Vincent: **Head.....is......spinning....must.....eliminate....singers... _*Waves hand. Suddenly all bands and singers leave. All the water has disappeared. Everything looks normal*_  
  
**Females:** Hey, what happened to all our favorite bands?  
  
**Males: **Thank god you got rid of them!  
  
**Vincent:** Am.....I.......still.......a.......party.....pooper?  
  
**Guys: **Yes!!!! You suck!  
  
**Girls:** No! You rule!  
  
**Guys:** Yes!  
  
**Girls:** No!  
  
**Guys: **Yes!  
  
**Girls: **No!  
  
**Vincent:** Head....is.......spinning......again......must......go.......I......will....leave..... _*Waves hand. Suddenly, Vincent is nowhere to be seen*_  
  
**Misty: **Did all that really happen, or was it a dream?  
  
**Everyone else: **It happened, all right.  
  
**Bart: **I'm glad he's gone.  
  
**Elly:** Nah, he wasn't a party pooper. You guys have to admit they all sounded good!  
  
**Cid: **Yuck, what are you trying to @#%&*^% say?  
  
**Ash: **And you can't forget that he summoned Lord Godo!  
  
**Barret: **And the Titanic Cast!  
  
**Cloud:** On the other hand, he did summon those female singers for us, even if they slapped us all...  
  
**Tifa: **And he did end our bad board game marathon....  
  
**Aeris:** He also summoned Emeralda...  
  
**Fei: **And throughout it all, he kept this part rated PG!  
  
**Everyone: **ALL RIGHT! WE DID IT! HIGH FIVE!  
  
**Esmeralda: **So he wasn't a Party Pooper, then?  
  
**Everyone: **nope!  
  
**Margie:** Well, that was one tiring fanfic. I want to go back to PG-13 in part 7.  
  
**Cid:** Me too. It was hard holding back those swears and dirty jokes.  
  
**Barret:** So, now that we all decided Vincent was cool, can we get out of this PG world?  
  
**Bart:** Certainly!  
  
----------------------------------------  
  
_To Be Continued....._  
  



	9. Part Seven- "The Blame Game"

**The RPG Party: Part 7- The Multi-personalitied Id vs. The Rod Whacking Traitor**  


  


_Featuring Fei, Elly.....and a re-enactment of MTV's The Blame Game_  


  
-----------------------------  
  
**Fei: **Elly, we're back to a PG-13!  
  
**Elly: **Yeah, so?  
  
**Fei: **Well, remember when you said that maybe we could head to the grove of trees   
when the author decided to change the rating to PG-13?  
  
**Elly: **Uh, I guess.  
  
**Fei: **Can I take you up on that now?  
  
**Elly:** Maybe later. I don't really feel like it right now.  
  
**Fei:** WHAT? You're the one who's wanted it the entire time! Now I'm offering you and you refuse me?  
  
**Elly:** Well, you consented.  
  
**Fei: **I expect you to consent right now since I did!  
  
**Elly: **That's sexual harassment!  
  
**Fei: **Not between husband and wife!  
  
**Elly:** uh Fei? We're not married!  
  
**Fei: **Still, you don't even know what I want to do in the trees!  
  
**Elly:** Of course I do! You wanna do it! And I don't!  
  
**Fei: **So?   
  
**Elly**: You're such a &%^!  
  
**Fei: **Well, you're a ^%*&^@#%*&!!!!!  
  
**Elly: **@%^%*!!!!!  
  
**Fei: **@%^#@%!!!!!!!!  
  
**Elly: **%*&@%!!!!!  
  
**Fei:** @#^@&#$&$!!!!!!!  
  
**Elly and Fei: **@#%*&^@*&%*@&#&*&@#%*&@#&(*%&#(%^@*%&*!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Cloud: **Uh, are they fighting?  
  
**Tifa:** Cloud, you are sooooooo dense! Of course they're fighting!  
  
**Ash: **Should we be doing anything about it?  
  
**Margie:** Do something! My ears are killing me!  
  
**Ash:** OK..... Pikachu, come over here!  
  
**Pikachu:** Pika? (what?)  
  
**Ash:** Thundershock them!  
  
**Pikachu:** PIKACHU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! _*uses thundershock*_  
  
**Fei and Elly:** _*burned into smithereens*_  
  
**Fei: **Uh, was that necessary?  
  
**Elly: **Ouch!  
  
**Cid:** Finally, those &%%^@ stopped disturbing my sleep _*starts snoring*_  
  
**Ash:** Pikachu, wake Cid up....  
  
**Pikachu: **PIKACHU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! _*uses thunderbolt*_  
  
**Cid:** Ugh, I think I'll stay awake.  
  
**Elly: **can we go back to arguing now, or what?  
  
**Aeris:** No! Why can't all people be like the ancients? Human mentality is so wrong, I   
think that I should sign you up for-  
  
**Barret: **Oh no, not again Aeris! STOP!  
  
**Maria: **This argument is making everyone bitter. How about we figure out some way to make Fei and Elly happy and get this argument all settled?  
  
**Margie:** Yeah, it's so bad that Emeralda disappeared.  
  
**Misty: **I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Everyone:** What?  
  
**Misty: **We need to reenact MTV's The Blame Game! Then we can figure out who was to blame for this argument and then they we can all be happy!  
  
**Barret: **The @#%# Blame Game? Do you think all of us actually watch it?  
  
**Tifa: **Admit it Barret, you stop our Avalanche meetings every day to watch it.  
  
**Barret:** All right, I guess I do.....  
  
**Aeris:** Cid was watching it when I came for him to take me to the party!  
  
**Cid: **Ugh, you really didn't have to tell them that......  
  
**Fei: **Will this solve my argument with Elly?  
  
**Cloud: **Actually, it will just tell you who was to blame.  
  
**Elly: **Just as good. Let's start!  
  
**Ash:** OK everyone, we need to get ready. Author, could you give us 15 minutes to prepare?  
  
**Mystery Author:** Sure. This fanfic has been suspended for 15 minutes!  
  
--------------------------------------------  
  
_15 Minutes Later_  
  
_The main cabin room has now been changed completely into a set like the blame game. The Judge is in the middle, there are thrones for Fei and Elly, a witness room, an audience section, and a hidden camera._  
  
**Ash: **Wow, I can't believe I got picked to be camera man!  
  
**Maria:** Only because we wanted to get rid of you in the audience so I could hold Pikachu! _*Massages Pikachu's cheeks*_  
  
**Ash: **Grrrrrr.............PIKACHU!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Cloud:** Could we just @#%^& start the show?  
  
**Ash:** OK.........................5, 4, 3, 2, 1- ACTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
  
**Barret: **Hi everyone, and welcome to the &@*%^@*% Blame Game Show! I'm Barret, the Judge and announcer. Today, we are going to determine who is to blame in the (very) recent breakup of Elly and Fei. They are currently standing backstage and are-  
  
**Misty:** _*whispering* _Barret, get on with it!  
  
**Barret: **Today's case is the Multi-Personalitied Id vs. The Rod Whacking Traitor! First out, here is FEI FONG WONG!!!!!!!!  
  
_*Fei comes running out*_  
  
**The guys:** GO FEI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOOT HOOT!!!!!!!!!! _*Fei waves at him adoring fans and sits down in his throne*_  
  
**Barret:** Secondly, we have ELLY VAN HOUTEN!!!!!!!!!! _*Elly runs out*_  
  
**The gals:** GO ELLY!!!!!! WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!! _*Elly grins hearing the cheers and then sits down*_  
  
**Barret: **Now, we have our contestants counselors! Introducing Fei's counselor, Bart, and Elly's counselor, Margie! _*Walk out and stand by their 'clients'*_ We will now begin with the each counselor to have their client give them their side of this relationship. The clocks have been set to 90 seconds. Bart, you may begin.  
  
**Bart:** All right. Fei, can you describe how you met Elly and what happened in your meeting?  
  
**Fei: **Well, I was walking through a forest, my hometown having vanished, and I ran into Elly. And she HELD A &^%&*%@ GUN UP AT ME!!!!!!!! And then, she leads me into the forest, right into a dinosaur and faints without helping me fight! I'm lucky I didn't die! Then she leaves me in the middle of the night!  
  
**Bart:** _*sarcastically*_ Nice meeting! That doesn't sound like a nice young woman! _*hits gong*_  
  
**Margie: **After you left, you didn't see Fei for awhile. But when you finally did see them again, what happened?  
  
**Elly: **Well, I worked for Solaris, a rival town to his. That's why I was afraid to be associated with him early on. But when he got stuck in a Solaris base, I rescued them and put myself in danger! And he doesn't even say thank you!  
  
**Margie: **How rude! _*hits gong*_  
  
**Bart: **One time, you were going through a gear dungeon and you ran into Elly yet again. Could you tell us the sequence of events there?  
  
**Fei: **After beating some Solaris guards, I ran into Elly, who was in her gear. I was shocked to see her and didn't want to fight her. And you know what she does? She takes a drug called 'Drive' that makes her more tempramental and willing to fight, and she forces us into fighting!  
  
**Bart:** I don't think this girl cares about you at all! _*hits gong*_  
Margie: That may have happened, but tell us what happened later on.in the game.  
  
**Elly: **Well, I realized I was unhappy in Solaris and should stay with Fei. When I found him trying to save a guy named Rico, I turned on my own side! I almost died helping them with a ship! Then, I rejoined him!  
  
**Margie: **Elly obviously cared a lot about Fei! _*hits gong*_  
  
**Barret:** OK, your time is now up! Next on THE BLAME GAME, we have the characters admit dirty little secrets. Whoever admits the most times can present a key witness hiding behind the door!_ *Fei and Elly get up and walk to another section of the room*  
_  
**Guys: **GO FEI!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Girls: **GO ELLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Barret: **OK, Elly, you may start!  
  
**Elly:** Fei, you are crazy. Tell us what's in your double personalities file!  
  
**Fei: **OK, I admit it! I have two different personalities. One is Fei, the person you see right here. The other is an evil person known as Id. Id emerges when I'm angry. I have an emotion control device to prevent this.  
  
**Barret:** Correct!  
  
**Fei: **Elly, you're such a tease. Tell us what's in your indecent exposer in video game endings file.  
  
**Elly: **I'll admit it. I was the one that encouraged Fei and I to do it in the ending of Xenogears!   
  
**Barret:** Right on!  
  
**Elly:** Fei, you are so dense. Tell us what's in your non-understanding file.  
  
**Fei: **Admit it. In the Babel Tower the first time, I couldn't figure out that the reason Ramsus and Miang knew where we were was because of a spy!  
  
**Barret: **Absolutely!  
  
**Fei: **Elly, you can't make up your mind. Tell us what's in your Indecisions file.  
  
**Elly: **All right. In the game, I kept changing sides from Solaris....to Fei....to Solaris....back to Fei!  
  
**Barret: **Right on! Since you each had two admits, you will both be allowed to present your witnesses. First, we have Fei's witness, Billy Lee Black!  
  
**Cid:** _*to Aeris*_ I thought he left...  
  
**Aeris: **_*to Cid*_ Well, at least we're suprised.  
  
**Billy:** Elly is dangerous! You never know what she's going to do! Every time she seems like she's on your side she decides to join the enemy! One time we were figuring out about the Etones and she did nothing but sit around! Does that sound like someone who cares?  
  
**Barret: **Elly's witness is Emeralda!  
  
**Emeralda:** Fei is uncontainable! One time, Elly was trying to offer him rations of her   
food, and he eats fish and gets sick! Another time, she was caring for him and he turns into Id!!!!! What's with that?  
  
**Barret: **Now, we will have the cross-examinations. Fei and Elly, rejoin your counselors! _*Fei and Elly go back up to their thrones with a different counselor facing them*_ Margie, you may begin.  
  
**Margie:** One time, when everyone thought you were injured, what did you do?  
  
**Fei: **Well, I turned into Id and attempted to destroy everyone.....  
  
**Margie: **Ha! Does that sound like someone that can be trusted?  
  
**Bart:** Elly, one time in the floating city of Thames, what did you do to the ship?  
  
**Elly: **I programmed it so it would explode- but I was hypnotized!  
  
**Bart: **Suuuuuuuuuuure- you were actually a traitor!  
  
**Cowd: **THIS IS $&^*&@ BORING!!!!!! GET ON THE THE KAREOKE!!!!  
  
**Barret:** Uh, OK......I guess that ends the cross-examination them. Earlier, we took a snap judgement vote on Fei and Elly and it came out- 50-50! Let's see how the arguments, er courtroom activities, affected the voting. Fei and Elly, stand next to your counselors for your closing arguments. Margie, you may go first.  
  
**Margie:** Elly did nothing wrong in this relationship. She was helpless when Fei took control of her and felt very misunderstood. She changed sides in the war to Fei, and did all she could for him. He took no mercy and attempted to control her. This is why my client is singing 'No Scrubs' by TLC.  
  
**Audience: **WOO HOO!!!!!!!  
  
**Elly: **No, I don't want your number, no I don't wanna give you mine, and no I don't want to lead you nowhere, no, don't want none of your time.............  
  
**Maria: **YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!!  
  
**Pikachu:** PIKA PIKA!!!!! (you rock!)  
  
**Bart: **My client, Fei, is clearly innocent. Although he suffered multiple personality issues, he was unable to control them and felt great sympathies to Elly. Meanwhile, she forced him to fight against her and was constantly confused as to which side she was on. This is why Fei is singing 'Tearin up my Heart' by N'Sync.  
  
**Audience: **BOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Fei: **It's tearin up my heart when I'm with you, but when we are apart, I feel it tooooo, and no matter what I do, I feel the pain....with or without you!  
  
**Cid: **HOW DARE YOU SING N'SYNC!!!!  
  
**Ash: **YOU KNOW, THE AUTHOR HATES N'SYNC!!!!  
  
**Barret: **That is indeed the case. The author has decided not to tabulate the votes and give the victory to Elly because of Fei's song selection. This concludes today's Blame Game!  
  
**Elly:** Oh Fei.............  
  
**Fei: **Oh Elly..........  
  
**Elly: **I'm so sorry I ever refused your advances!  
  
**Fei:** I'm sorry I ever hurt you!  
  
**Misty: **Hey, what about the confession bench? _*everyone is too busy listening to Fei and Elly*_  
  
**Elly: **Shall we go off to that grove of trees now?  
  
**Fei: **Yes! We have a lot of 'things' to do!   
  
**Elly: **I know! Let's go! _*the two of them run off to the bushes*_  
  
**Ash: **Uh, that was weird......  
  
**Tifa: **yeah.....  
  
**Billy: **What do you say we take a 15 minute recess in this fanfic?  
  
**Mystery Author:** Sure. We're closed for another 15 min break.  
  
--------------------------------  
  
_15 minutes later_  
  
**Bart: **Hey, it was kind of fun arguing against you, Margie! Even though I lost.....  
  
**Margie: **Well, that's just cause the author hates N'Sync....  
  
**Barret:** And it's cool being the judge, I think I'm a great leader!  
  
**Cloud:** Yeah, you made such a great leader of Avalanche.... _*snickers*_  
  
**Emeralda: **Say, I wonder when Fei and Elly are going to be back.  
  
**Ash:** We'd better ask the author.  
  
**Mystery Author:** Well guys, Fei and Elly are going to be gone for a couple of episodes.  
  
**Cid:** &@$*%^@ why?  
  
**Mystery Author: **Well, they wasted 30 minutes they could have been, you know, in the grove of trees, so they have to make it up by doing it for about 4 hours straight. Solaris rules.  
  
**Billy:** Wow! The main characters are gone!  
  
**Maria:** Say, how did you get back, Billy?  
  
**Billy: **My, uh, meeting ended. Ramsus dropped me off here.  
  
**Aeris: **Sounds cool. So, with Fei and Elly gone, do you think more people will arrive in part 8?  
  
**Mystery Author:** Of course! And perhaps some guest stars, too.  
  
**Misty:** Who are the guest stars going to be?  
  
**Mystery Author:** It's a surprise! _*laughs evily*_  
  
**Barret: **I say I've had enough of this &@%*^ blame game! Let's end this!  
  
**Ash:** I think you're right.......  
  
---------------------------------------  
  
_To Be Continued...._  
  
  



	10. Part Eight- "Once a Spy, Always a Spy"

**The RPG Party- Part 8: Once A Spy, Always A Spy  
**  
_Featuring Citan, Cait Sith....and the Animorphs_  


  
----------------------------------  
  
**Aeris: **Sigh, things have gotten boring since Fei and Elly left. I wish they'd hurry up.  
  
**Cid: **Yeah, I miss their &%@^ sex jokes.  
  
**Misty:** Although walking in on them wasn't fun, it spiced up my life...  
  
**Tifa:** Hey! That's a Spice Girls Song!  
  
**Cid:** Blech, don't even remind me about them. _*The conversation ends, with everyone sitting around twiddling their thumbs*_  
  
**Ash: **Misty, doesn't this remind you of "A Pointless Pokemon Fanfic?"  
  
**Misty:** Uh, yeah. But at least we were having fun boring everyone to death then.   
  
**Maria:** I'VE GOT IT!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Cloud:** Got what?  
  
**Maria: **What we should do. How about a fashion show?  
  
**Emeralda**: Wow, that sounds great!  
  
**Margie:** I'd love to!  
  
**Bart:** Wait a minute. I don't want to be in a @%*^@ fashion show! Why do we always have to go along with the girls?  
  
**Maria:** Because girls outnumber guys right now.  
**Barret:** That's bullshit! Let me count! _*starts counting*_ Hmmm, Aeris, Tifa, Misty, Margie, Maria, Emeralda. That's 6. Um, me, Cid, Cloud, Bart, Ash. That's 5. Hey! they do outnumber us! _*starts snorting in disgust*_  
  
**Aeris:** So we're having that fashion show!  
  
**From behind the commotion:** Actually, guys outnumber girls 7 to 6.  
  
**Misty:** Huh? How did that happen?  
  
**Another voice: **Take a look behind you. _*Everyone looks. To their surprise, Citan and Cait Sith are standing there*_  
  
**Citan:** I see we stopped by just in time to stop a fashion show.  
  
**Cid: **That's, uh, great. But you're making me nervous. How come two #@%@ spies had to show up at the same time? Makes you wanna be suspicious.  
  
**Cait Sith:** Uh, we're uh, of course, um, yeah we're not, uh spying for anything!  
  
**Margie:** Still, we'll be watching you _*Glares at Citan*_  
  
**Tifa: **You too, Cait Sith. _*Glares at Cait Sith*_  
  
**Cait Sith:** Whoa Tifa, did you know that when you lean down like that you can see right down your- _*Tifa turns him upsidown*_  
  
**Cloud:** Haha, that's Reeve talking!  
  
**Chu-chu: **Chu look like me!  
  
**Cait Sith: **_*now right side up*_ Yeah, but in real life, I'm just a person talking through a stuffed mog.  
  
**Citan: **Maybe you guys could split up. The girls can have a fashion show while we do- uh, something else.  
  
**Maria: **OK! Come on guys! Let's go give each other makeovers! _*Takes off to a bedroom*_  
  
**Emeralda:** Wait for the rest of us! _*Grab tons of makeup kits and go upstairs*_  
  
**Cloud: **OK, so what do we do now?  
  
**Bart: **Do you even have to ask? We obviously do something the girls wouldn't let us do!  
  
**Cait Sith:** What would that include?  
  
**Bart: **Don't know...  
  
**Ash: **How about we explore the cellar?  
  
**Barret: **That $*(^%(*@$# sounds like something the girls would approve!  
  
**Ash: **If you don't agree, Pikachu is going to use it's strongest attack!  
  
**Cid: **Ooooh, I've felt him thunder me, let's just say it's &$%^ painful. Let's go.   
  
**Citan: **Uh, Cait Sith and I want to stay up here to, uh, play with chu-chu!   
  
**Cait Sith: **yeah! _*gives evil look*_  
  
**Barret:** _*To himself*_ I just don't trust them..............  
  
**Ash: **Hurry up, Barret!  
**Barret:** Hold yer horses! I'm coming! _*heads downstairs*_  
  
-------------------------------------------  
  
_Dress try on session in the Bedroom_  
  
**Aeris:** Ooooh, what color should I wear?  
  
**Tifa:** light yellow  
  
**Misty:** What are you talking about, Tifa? That would fade her out.  
  
**Tifa:** Grrrr, ruining my plan again......  
  
**Margie:** Besides, Cloud doesn't like either of you, remember?  
  
**Tifa: **Oh. Sorry Aeris. I'd say that a blue would look nice on you. _*hands her a dress*_  
  
**Aeris: **Thanks Tifa! _*puts on dress*_  
  
**Tifa: **Now me! Pick between the dresses.  
  
**Maria: **I can't believe you brought all these clothes, Tifa. And in all our sizes!  
  
**Tifa:** Well, hehe, I was kinda hoping we'd all have a dress-up party...  
  
**Emeralda: **That's OK, we like them too!  
  
**Misty: **You should wear one with a dark colored top, light colored bottom because light emphasizes and dark hides.  
  
**Tifa: **WHAT? You want me to de-emphasize my boobs?  
  
**Aeris:** They'd look less, uh like you had cosmetic surgery then.  
  
**Tifa: **Uh, I did have cosmetic surgery, hehe. Oh well, I guess this one will work. _*puts on a dress with dark red top and faded yellow bottom*_  
  
**Misty: **OK, my turn!  
  
**Aeris:** Aww, you're adorable Misty, even without a dress.  
  
**Misty:** Oh, I know I am!!! _*winks*_  
  
**Maria:** _*gags*_  
  
**Aeris:** How about an orangy dress, to go with your beautiful hair?  
  
**Misty: **_*Looks at dress*_ Oh, it's *so* me! _*puts it on*_  
  
**Margie: **Give me one, too. I don't care what it looks like.  
  
**Tifa: **Hmm, how about a green dress for you? It would bring out your eyes. _*hands her dress*_  
  
**Aeris: **And you, Maria, we need to get something floral. It would emphasize your youthfulness and baby face. Here, take this one. _*hands her dress*_  
  
**Maria: **Thanks Aeris! I want you to be my big sister!  
  
**Tifa:** So, do we have everyone?  
  
**Emeralda:** No! You forgot me!  
**Aeris: **Sorry about that. Hmm, that light green color looks nice on you. Tifa, get her a dress that color. _*Tifa finds dress and hands it to her*_  
  
**Emeralda:** OK, so we all have dresses on. Now what are we going to do?  
  
**Tifa:** Makeup!  
  
**Aeris:** Hairstyles! And girl talk, of course!  
  
**Misty: **Girl talk? Oh boy!  
  
**Maria:** Let's start now!  
  
-------------------------------------  
  
_With the 5 Guys in the Cellar_  
  
**Ash: **Oh boy! This is soooooo exciting!  
  
**Cid:** What are you &*^$#@%& talking about? This is even more boring than drinking tea with Shera!  
  
**Barret:** I thought you were in love with Shera.  
  
**Cid:** _*muttering*_ Shut up, you &*%*#......  
  
**Cloud:** Cid likes Shera? REALLY?  
  
**Barret:** Someday Cloud, I'm going to hit you with a board......   
  
**Bart:** So, what exactly is down here?  
  
**Ash:** WOW! Lots of food! I get it first! _*Looks more closely* _Eww, yuck, it's moldy!   
  
**Cid: **All it is is some *&%@ tables and dead fish. Let's go back up.  
  
**Ash:** _*looks casually over his shoulder* _Look, there's another room off to the side! Let's go exploooooooooooring!  
  
**Bart:** Oh, beep beep, come on, follow the kid.....  
  
**Barret:** Yeah, whatever...... _*Everyone walks into the room and are surprised it actually has something cool*_  
  
**Ash: **WOW! 8 computers! With Windows 98! Cool!  
  
**Cid: **Wow, something good actually is down here.  
  
**Barret:** _*turns on computer*_ Hey, it has AOL 4.0. Let's go into a chatroom.  
  
**Bart:** Sounds cool.  
  
----------------------------------  
  
_With Citan and Cait Sith_  
  
**Cait Sith**: Are you sure this is going to work, Citan?  
  
**Citan:** Of course. Besides, I was a much better spy than you!  
  
**Cait Sith:** What????!!!!!!!!! You are not, you %$#^!!!!!  
  
**Citan: **Yes I am, you &@*(%!  
  
**Cait Sith:** @&*%^!!!!  
  
**Citan: **&*@@(%#*&!!!!  
  
**Cait Sith: ***(@%(@*%!!!!!!  
**Citan:** Uh, we'd better stop. We're starting to sound like teenagers, not grown ups.  
  
**Cait Sith: **Yeah, no kidding! _*notices a bunch of birds* _Hey, it looks like they might have arrived.  
  
**Citan:** Hmm, possibly. Although bird morphs are an odd thing to use..... _*The forms demorph into the forms of Jake, Rachel, Tobias, Marco, and Cassie*_  
  
**Cait Sith:** Uh, what are the animorphs doing here?  
  
**Cassie:** We heard rumors there was going to be trouble here.  
  
**Citan: **Uh, trouble? We're just having a party.....  
  
**Jake: **We heard rumors about Visser 3 appearing. So we came to check them out.  
  
**Cait Sith:** Uh, no aliens here. Besides Ash, of course. Now, go home.  
  
**Rachel: **Don't tell us to go home! We're the ANIMORPHS!!!!!!  
  
**Marco:** We just do our Animorphs duty! _*salutes humorously*_  
  
**Citan:** _*sighs*_ Oh, I suppose you could stay. The guys are downstairs in the cellar and the girls are in one of the bedrooms.  
  
**Tobias:** Thanks! We'll be going now! No offense, but kids our age are more fun to talk to! *_The guys head downstairs and the girls go up*_  
  
**Cait Sith: **Uh oh, what if they ruin our plans?  
  
**Citan:** No problem. We'll just have to call and get more reinforcements.   
  
**Cait Sith:** _*looks at watch*_ Two hours until doom! _*Laughs*_  
  
------------------------------------  
  
_Girl Talk_  
  
**Misty: **Now that we're all doing our makeup, what can we talk about?  
  
**Tifa: **Why, what girls always talk about, of course.  
  
**Aeris:** Guys!  
  
**Margie:** Wow, what a great topic! I love talking about guys!  
  
**Emeralda: **Don't we all?  
  
**Maria:** Well, does anyone here *like* someone here?  
  
**Tifa:** Well, I've decided that I don't like Cloud anymore because of the moves he put on me in strip poker...  
  
**Aeris:** Uh, I don't think you should be talking about that. Those four are a little young...  
  
**Tifa:** Hehe, sorry. Anyway, I don't like him anymore.  
  
**Misty:** Ash is nice enough, but he's a little young for me. I'm in love with almost everyone else in the cabin.  
  
**Aeris: **Wow, I never would have thought of you as boy crazy, but....... anyway, I still like Cloud. Who do you like, Margie?  
  
**Margie:** Uh, um........... Bart!  
  
**Maria:** Isn't he your cousin?  
  
**Margie:** Actually, we're really second cousins, so we far enough apart that we can get married. That wasn't in the game, so you wouldn't know that. Who's next? _*Just as someone is about to talk, the door opens*_  
  
**Rachel: **Hey guys! What's up?  
  
**Emeralda:** WOW! You guys are the Animorphs! I'm sooooo impressed! _*Hands them paper to sign*_  
  
**Cassie:**_ *Signs paper* _Thanks. But we're just normal kids. We want to talk about boys, too!  
  
**Misty:** Do you guys like people, too?  
  
**Cassie:** Yeah, I really like Jake. Sigh, he's so strong and masculine..........  
  
**Rachel:** And I like Tobias.   
  
**Tifa: **Isn't he a bird?  
  
**Rachel:** Well, he is, but he could morph into himself and go over the limit at any time and become human....  
  
**Emeralda: **So, we know who everyone likes. Except me and Margie, who don't like anyone. What should we talk about next? _*scratches her head thoughtfully*_  
  
**Misty:** Hmmm, how about guys, uh, 'packages!' yeah!  
  
**Maria:** Huh? What are they?  
  
**Margie:** Come to another room, and I'll explain it to you. _*Maria and Margie leave*_  
  
**Aeris:** Well, if that's what everyone wants to talk about, we'll do that.  
  
----------------------------  
  
_With The Guys Online_  
  
**Barret: **Now we're all online. There's nobody on my buddy list. How about you guys?  
  
**Bart:** Chu-chu is on one of the computers on the Yggdrasil.  
  
**Ash: **Pikachu is on the other Yggdrasil computer.  
  
**Cloud: **And I have RedXIII on mine.  
  
**Cid: **let's @#&* invite them all to a chat room. _*Everyone with a buddy on invites them to a private chat*_  
  
**Ash:** I think we're ready. Let's do it! _*figures emerge*_  
  
**Marco: **Hey, that's Rachel's line! You &#$@*^!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Ash: **Oh, hi Animorphs. I read your books. You rock!  
  
**Jake: **Say, thanks!  
  
**Tobias: **So, we want to go online, too.  
  
**Cloud: **Be my guest. _*gestures toward three empty computers*_ Come into the chat room with us.  
  
**Barret:** Are we &@*%^ ready now, or not?  
  
**Marco:** We're ready!  
  
*************************  
  
_CHAT ROOM_  
  
**ToughDude1: **Hey, this is Barret!  
  
**HghwindPlt:** Cid   
  
**Thndrshock: **Pikachu  
  
**FeisGurl:** Chu-Chu  
  
**Nanaki13: **Red XIII  
  
**BBall7777:** Jake  
  
**CoolDude:** Marco  
  
**Birdboy14:** Tobias  
  
**PkmnMaster:** Ash  
  
**PsychoHair: **Cloud   
  
**CrwnPrince:** Bart  
  
**ToughDude1:** Good! We're all here!  
  
**CoolDude:** What should we talk about?  
  
**HghwindPlt:** Are you coming to the party, Red?  
  
**Nanaki13:** I'll be there as soon as I finish a meeting with the elders.  
  
**BBall7777:** I haven't been online in so long!  
  
**Birdboy14:** I forget how to type with hands.  
**  
Thndrshock:** I can talk in English at a computer!  
  
**FeisGurl: **And I can talk without saying 'Chu' every other word!  
**  
PkmnMaster:** Yeah this is the only way I really talk to Pikachu!  
**  
PsychoHair:** Hey this is boring and mindless. Why doesn't something happen!?!? _ *fatefull words*_  
  
**VissrYeerk:** Greetings, humans.  
  
**CoolDude:** VISSER 3!!!!!!!  
**  
CrwnPrince:** Dude your screen name sucks. What the hell is a Visser?  
  
**BBall7777:** GET OUT OF HERE YOU &#*@^%!!!!!!  
  
**VissrYeerk:** Take a look upstairs.  
  
**Birdboy14: **Why?  
  
**VissrYeerk:** JUST DO IT HUMAN SCUM!!!!!! _*All computer screens go blank*_  
  
********************  
  
**Cid: **That.......was strange.  
  
**Barret:** Some @#%@ hacker.  
  
**Jake: **NO! Visser 3 is real! We have to go up!  
  
**Tobias:** Come on guys, let's go! _*Marco, Jake, and Tobias run up*_  
  
**Ash: **Let's follow them! _*Barret, Ash, Cid, Bart, and Cloud go up*_  
  
---------------------------  
  
_With Citan and Cait Sith_  
  
**Citan:** Here they come!  
  
**Cait Sith**: Hahahahaha!!!!!! _*Visser 3 comes out of blade ship*_  
  
**Visser 3: **I have come, humans. What do you wish for me to do?  
  
**Citan:** Crash the party!  
  
**Visser 3:** Hmm, interesting. Sounds like a tough job, but somebody's got to do it.  
  
**Cait Sith: **Hurry up, you @&*%^!!!!!!!  
  
**Visser:** I will begin now. _*footsteps can be heard*_  
  
**Marco:** Not so fast, Visser 3!  
  
**Tobias: **We won't let you get away with this!  
  
**Jake:** Everyone! Battle morphs, now! _*Jake morphs Tiger. Marco morphs Gorilla. Tobias morphs Hawk*_  
  
**Barret: **You @&#*% spies! I should've know you'd go this!   
  
**Cloud: **Barret, use your gun! I'll use my sword!  
  
**Bart: **I'll go get my gear!  
  
**Ash:** PIKACHU!!!!!! GET OVER HERE!!!!!!!!!!!! _*The fight is now officially starting!*_  
  
------------------------------  
  
_Back With the Girls_  
  
**Tifa: **So, shall we talk about 'packages?'  
  
**Margie: **Yeah! _*Suddenly, a rumble and a thoughtspeak voice from Jake to the Animorphs is heard*_  
  
**Rachel: **Oh no! Visser 3 is here!  
  
**Cassie: **Come on, Rachel! Let's morph! _*Rachel morphs elephant. Cassie morphs wolf*_  
  
**Aeris: **Tifa! Let's go fight!   
  
**Tifa:** In these dresses?  
  
**Aeris: **Tifa, we have to!  
  
**Misty:** I'll use my pokemon!  
  
**Maria:** Margie and I can't fight, so we'll stay here.... *_Everyone else heads down to see Visser 3, Citan, and Cait Sith in a huge fight against everyone else*_  
  
**Aeris: **We'll help you, guys!  
  
**Cloud:** Aeris! Stay out of this! _*Visser 3 slices him*_ Actually............. you can join!  
  
**Cid: **You @&#%*^@(*%&@(!!!!!!!!!!!! _*Hits Citan*_  
  
**Bart: **You spies suck!!!!! _*Whomps Visser 3 with his gear*_  
  
**Visser 3: **For doing that, you will pay! _*Walks outside and to the Yggdrasil. Tears it apart*_  
  
**Bart:** NO!!!!!!!!! IT WAS ALREADY DAMAGED AS IT WAS!!!!!!!!!!!! &(*@^%(*  
  
**Marco: **Take this, Visser 3! _*Lifts him up and throws him to the ground*_  
  
**Ash:** Pikachu! Thundershock on the scorpion!   
  
**Pikachu:** PIKACHUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! _*Uses Thundershock*_  
  
**Misty:** Starmie! Attack it! _*It cuts it's throat up*_  
  
**Rachel: **This is for my family! _*Stomps on Visser 3*_  
  
**Tobias:** _*Pokes Visser 3's eyes really hard*_  
  
**Cassie:** _*Bares her jaws at Visser 3's leg*_  
  
**Jake:** _*Also bites Visser 3*_  
  
**Tifa: **I'll get you! _*Punches Visser 3*_  
  
**Visser 3:** Ha! You humans are weak and pitiful! _*Continues killing everyone. Eventually, despite everyone's best efforts, everyone except Misty is lying on the ground, too tired to fight*_  
  
**Misty: **Oh.......my..........god.......... _*is shaking*_  
  
**Citan:** Looks like all you have to do is finish her off! _*Points at Misty*_  
  
**Visser 3:** I'm doing it!!!!!!!!!!! _*Charges toward Misty*_  
  
**Misty:** Staryu, go! _*Out pops Psyduck*_ NO!!!!!!!!!! PSYDUCK!!!!!!!! BAD TIMING!!!!!!! _*Psyduck is running around in circles shouting 'psy!'*_  
  
**Visser 3: **You are pitiful! _*Bashes Psyduck on the head*_  
  
**Psyduck:** _*Gets a bad headache*_ PSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! _*Uses confuse ray and disable at once*_  
  
**Visser 3:** Ugh.........I can't attack............ I'm feeling dizzy....... I think it's time to go............  
  
**Cait Sith:** Hey! You didn't finish the job?  
  
**Visser 3:** I.......will later.......... _*gets on Blade Ship and leaves*_  
  
**Misty:** Ugh, I guess I'd better wake everyone up.......  
  
---------------------------  
  
_30 minutes later_  
  
**Cassie:** Jake! We survived! _*They hug and kiss*_  
  
**Tobias:** We beat evil once again, Rachel. _*They hug and kiss*_  
  
**Marco:** I think we'd better go, guys. There's more evil to be fought!  
  
**Rachel: **You're right. Bye guys! It was........ uh, fun, I guess! _*The Animorphs leave*_  
  
**Barret: **You @&%(@%* spies! _*Shoots bullets at them*_  
  
**Bart: **Who you working for, anyway?  
  
**Cait Sith:** Wellllll.................. uh..............  
  
**Cloud:** Spit it out, you @*%&%s!!!!!!!  
  
**Citan: **All right, we were working for Yuffie.  
  
**Tifa: **YUFFIE? That girl is going to pay!  
  
**Maria:** She's sure caused a lot of trouble.  
  
**Emeralda:** yeah, even when she's not here!  
  
**Ash:** I think it's time for you spies to go........  
  
**Misty:** I would have to agree with that. _*Looks at Psyduck, who is still out and has a headache*_ Psyduck, confuse!  
  
**Psyduck:** PSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! _*uses it*_  
  
**Citan:** _*really confused*_ uh........ we'll @&*%#^ go, my friends.  
  
**Cait Sith: **Uh, yeah............ um, ............. bye!_ *they leave*_  
  
**Aeris: **That was strange.  
  
**Margie:** And we didn't get to have our fashion show!  
  
**Ash:** Oh, so that's why Misty is dressed up so @*%&%#@ funny....... _*Misty slaps him*_  
  
**Tifa:** No problem! We can get fixed up and give it in part 9!  
  
**Emeralda**: Great idea! You're a life saver! Let's go! _*All the girls head upstairs*_  
  
**Cid: **I guess we have to @(#%^(*& watch it......  
  
**Barret:** I guess so.   
  
**Ash:** Oh well, if we survived that fight, we can survive this.......... I HOPE!!!!!!!  
  
-----------------------------  
  
_To be continued............._  
  
  
  



	11. Part Nine- "Striptease"

**The RPG Party- Part 9: Striptease**  


  


_Features the RPG women, Brock's cheerleaders, a Sexy Masked Man...and Madonna and Austin Powers_  


----------------------  
  
**Aeris: **Come on girls, let's go!  
  
**Misty:** ALL RIGHT!!!!!!!!! _*Ash grabs her*_  
  
**Ash: **We decided without conferring in the last 30 seconds that we don't want to watch your fashion show!  
  
**Tifa:** You *&(@&%s!!!! You just agreed to in the last episode! And we're still in the exact some place!  
  
**Bart:** We changed our mind.  
  
**Barret: **Watching a damn fashion show is even worse than being blocked from watching porn!  
  
**Margie:** We refuse to compromise our principles!  
  
**Cloud: **Well, neither do we!  
  
**Cid: **In fact, if you try to hold that fashion show, we'll beat you all up!  
  
**Maria:** _*Shudders when she remembers she's the smallest person there*_ Uh, actually maybe we can come up with some sort of compromise....  
  
**Billy: **_*from door*_ I have an idea!  
  
**Emeralda:** Billy? Where were you last episode?  
**Billy: **Well, the author wanted girls to outnumber guys during part 8, so she sent me in the Highwind to a place called Chocobo farms.  
  
**Aeris, Tifa, Cloud, Barret, Cid:** YOU WENT TO CHOCOBO FARMS??????  
  
**Tifa:** How was my precious little gold chocobo, Bobo, doing?  
  
**Cloud: **You named it Bobo? Hahahahahahahah!!!!!!!!!! _*Tifa glares at him*_  
  
**Billy:** Uh, actually, all the chocobos died. There were a bunch of human and chocobo skeletons.  
  
**Barret: **Not my blue chocobo! It must've been Hojo doing genetic engineering! That bastard!  
  
**Cid: **Say, that must be why the Highwind didn't get injured in Visser 3's attack like the Yggdrasil.  
  
**Bart:** Quit reminding me about the @*(&%( Yggdrasil! I'll never be able to get it back to normal! _*sobs*_  
  
**Margie: **It's OK, cousin. I'll help you when the party is over! _*Gives him a hug*_  
  
**Misty:** All right, enough of this talk! I wanna hear Billy's idea! RIGHT NOW!  
  
**Ash: **_*under his breath*_ prissy, prissy bitch!  
  
**Misty:** WHAT WAS THAT?  
  
**Ash:** Uh, Abercrombie and Fitch?  
  
**Misty:** Good.   
  
**Billy:** Anyway, I think that the girls should do a strip show!  
  
**Aeris:** WHAT? Are you aware that most of these girls are still children?   
  
**Cloud**: Who cares! I think it's a great idea!  
  
**Bart: **And we gotta make sure Tifa participates!  
  
**Tifa:** Sigh, typical male minds........  
  
**Ash: **This is sooooooooooooo sick! I don't want to see naked girls! Yuck!  
  
**Misty: **Even me, Ashie boy?  
  
**Voice from back door: **Hey, that's Duplica's line! Remember the Ditto trainer?  
  
**Misty: **_*Turns around to see Brock*_ Brock! You came back!  
  
**Brock:** Sabrina the psychic trainer told me there was going to be a strip show here! And look, I even brought guests!  
  
**Ash:** _*Still thinking about naked Misty. Suddenly screams in suprise and runs into bathroom*_  
  
**Emeralda**: What the hell was that?  
  
**Maria:** Uh, I think he was mastrubating or something.... _*makes sick face*_  
  
**Margie:** Eww, that's sick!  
  
**Cid: **So show us the @*(#%& guests, already!  
  
**Brock:** Presenting- Gary's Cheerleaders!   
  
**Cheerleaders**: Brock, Brock, he's our man, if he can't watch us strip, no one can!  
  
**Brock:** I had to pay a lot of money to get them to come, you know!  
  
**Cloud: **Great! Our strip show is complete!  
  
**Aeris: **Sigh, it looks like we're stuck. Come on Tifa, Margie, Maria, Emeralda, and Misty.  
  
**Billy: **And hurry up! Male minds can't wait long!  
  
**Misty**: yeah, yeah......... _*The girls head upstairs with the cheerleaders following them*_  
  
------------------------------------  
  
_With the Girls_  
  
**Aeris**: OK, I guess we have to dress seductively or something. Tifa, you should be an expert at this.  
  
**Tifa: **Really? Why?  
  
**Margie:** Uh, think about it, Tifa.  
  
**Tifa: **_*looks at her outfit* _Oh, right.  
  
**Cheerleaders: **It's OK, we know the most about this stuff. We can dress you all up.  
  
**Maria: **Are you guys whores?  
  
**Cheerleaders: **Actually, we prefer to call ourselves "Sexperts."  
  
**Emeralda:** Sick.......  
  
**Cheerleaders: **Anyway, you can all look like sluts, too! _*the cheerleaders take out 6 tiny little bikini outfits*_  
  
**Misty:** They certainly are....... small.  
  
**Cheerleaders: **And we even put fake boobs in the outfits for Margie, Maria, Misty, and Emeralda.  
  
**Aeris: **So, can we put them on , then?  
  
**Cheerleaders: **Certainly. _*distributes outfits*_  
  
**Tifa:** _*puts on outfit*_ Are you sure this isn't Maria's outfit?  
  
**Maria:** Tifa, mine is even smaller.  
  
**Aeris: **yeah, I think you have the biggest one here. At least in the top region.  
  
**Tifa:** Oh.  
  
**Cheerleaders: **Now you look exactly like us. Now, are we ready to go downstairs?  
  
**Margie: **I guess so! _*Everyone goes downstairs*_  
  
-----------------------------  
  
_Downstairs with the guys_  
  
**Barret: **What's wrong with those @*#%(@# girls! Why can't they hurry up?  
  
**Cloud: **You know how girls are, Barret,  
  
**Cid: **Well, there's gotta be SOMETHING for us to do while we wait!  
  
**Madonna:** How about me?  
  
**Billy: **MADONNA!!!!!!!! YOU ARE MY IDOL!!!!!!!!! _*runs up to her*_  
  
**Madonna: **For my singing talent, or my sexy body?  
  
**Billy: **Uh, the latter.....  
  
**Madonna:** Good! Because I'm here with a few friends to participate/watch the strip show!  
  
**Ash: **Cool! Who are your friends?  
  
**Madonna: **Actually, they're the people featured in one of my songs....... Austin Powers, Dr. Evil, and Felicity! _*They appear*_  
  
**Austin: **Yeah, baby! Dr. Evil and I made up so we could watch the incredibly hot Madonna strip for us!  
  
**Felicity:** And me too, Austin, baby! _*Snuggles next to Austin Powers*_  
  
**Dr. Evil:** Oh course, Felicity. Soon, we'll shag in a 3-way!  
  
**Felicity: **Oooooh, Dr. Evil, I love the way you talk! _*The girls come downstairs*_  
  
**Brock: **Look! Here they are! Looking HOT!!!!!!!! _*drools*_  
  
**Cid: **Holy shit, Tifa! I never knew your outfit could get that skimpy!  
  
**Tifa: **Well, it can! And I'm ready to flaunt my stuff! _*flaunts her boobs at Cid, who goes into an excited trance*_  
  
**Cheerleaders:** This is going to be the most memorable strip show ever!  
  
**Barret: **ALL RIGHT!!!!!!! I've seen a lot of good ones, so I KNOW this is gonna &@(*%(@ rule!  
  
**Aeris:** _*notices the newly arrived guests*_ Uh, what's Madonna and the Austin Powers cast doing here?  
  
**Madonna:** Just helping your not very well endowed bodies by adding ours.  
  
**Aeris: **Are you insulting the fact that I only wear an A cup? How dare you!  
  
**Billy:** _*notices the tension*_ Uh, can we start the show or something?  
  
**Felicity:** Of course! I now present "The Striptease Show," done by 60s girl, Felicity!  
  
**Austin:** _*to Dr. Evil*_ Odd, she wasn't so posessive when I married her.....  
  
**Madonna:** I start! Turn on the Music!   
  
**Cloud:** All right, oh great Madonna. _*Turns on Beautiful Stranger*_  
**Madonna: **All right, now I shall sing while I strip! Haven't we met, you're some kind of beautiful stranger. You could be good for me, I have a taste for the danger..... _*Sloooooooooowly strips while singing the song. It takes about three plays of the song for her to finish stripping*_  
  
**Guys:** OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! _*staring at Madonna, primal instincts taking over*_  
  
**Austin: **Shag me Madonna! Come on, shag me!  
  
**Dr. Evil: **I believe Madonna should go to me. You have Felicity.  
  
**Austin:** Well, you have that ugly bitch you conceived your son with!  
  
**Dr. Evil:** BUT I WANT MADONNA, NOW!!!!!!!  
  
**Madonna:** Hmm, I was thinking of conceiving another baby with some man I'll dump the next night.....  
  
**Austin:** PICK ME!!!!!!  
  
**Dr. Evil: **NO, PICK ME!  
  
**Madonna: **Actually, I pick Dr. Evil! I think bald man are the sexiest!  
  
**Dr. Evil: **YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Madonna: **Let us go someplace private.  
  
**Barret: **NO!!!!!!!! Stay on the *(@#%* stage!  
  
**Cid:** yeah, we want a public showing! _*mutters to himself*_ If only Shera would be this way.....  
  
**Madonna:** Dr. Evil, we must obey their wishes, this is a strip show. _*heads over to stage with him*_  
  
**Billy:** Just a minute! I want to stuff a dollar bill in your bra!  
  
**All other guys: **Us too!  
  
**Madonna:** Um, all right. _*They do, and then head to center stage*_  
  
**Cloud: **Come on! Harder, harder!  
  
**Billy:** This rocks! _*Meanwhile, Felicity has started stripping. None of the guys notice her*_  
  
**Felicity:** COME ON, WATCH ME STRIP! FOR FREE! Wow, I sound like one of those porn ads.  
  
**Tifa:** _*backstage*_ Oh no! The sex act is wrecking the show!  
  
**Aeris: **Oh well, at least nobody will notice if we screw up.  
  
**Felicity: **AHHHH!!!!!!!! THIS ISN'T WORKING!!!!!!! _*begins crying*_  
  
**Austin:** _*notices Felicity naked on the stage*_ Why Felicity, I'll help you get noticed!  
  
**Felicity: **How, m'luv?  
  
**Austin: **Shag me on stage, baby!  
  
**Fat Bastard:** me too! Like that time you did in the movie!  
  
**Austin: **Fat Bastard? How did you get here?  
  
**Fat Bastard: **I rolled here with my fat body as leverage. So, up for a threesome?  
  
**Felicity**: Will it get me noticed?  
  
**Austin: **Yeah baby, yeah! Shag us both!  
  
**Felicity:** All right! Come on, Austin and Fat Bastard! _*heads up next to Madonna and Dr. Evil*_  
  
**Ash: **Blech! This is making me sick!   
  
**Pikachu:** Pika pi! (me too!)  
  
**Billy:** Well, the rest of us @*(%& like it, Ash!  
  
**Ash:** Sigh, if only Misty would come out.......  
  
**Cloud:** You guys look *hot* on stage!   
  
**Brock:** Maybe you could all join up!  
  
**Madonna: **Hey, good idea!   
  
**Felicity: **Oooooooo, Fat Bastard............ Oooooh................  
**Cheerleaders:** Look at us dance up a ball, we're the best strippers of them all! _*All 17 strippers begin stripping while performing in a kickline*_  
  
**Brock:** Come on, my cheerleaders! Go, go, go!!! Make me hot!!!!  
  
**Cheerleaders: **_*lift Brock on stage with them*_ Brock, Brock, totally rocks, the best male stripper, let's take off his socks!  
  
**Barret:** YEAH!!!!!! Strip him, strip him! _*The cheerleaders continue stripping Brock*_  
  
**Brock:** _*now Naked*_ Cheerleaders, can we have an, um, 17 way?  
  
**Cheerleaders: **Of course! Come on Brock, this is our job, we get paid for it, let's get it on!  
  
**Aeris: **_*backstage*_ I guess it's our turn, Tifa.  
  
**Tifa:** _*backstage*_ Yeah, come on Aeris! Of course, we're gonna have to have sex to get noticed... oh well!  
  
**Aeris: **_*attempts to sing*_ I am a materia girl, and I live in my materia world.....  
  
**Tifa: **Uh, Aeris? It's material. And what does that have to do with stripping?  
  
**Aeris:** Sorry. _*they go back to stripping*_  
  
**Tifa:** Wow, look at that handsome masked man behind that just arrived! _*Aeris looks, and sure enough, a man with his chest showing and a blindfold around his head has arrived*_  
  
**Masked Man: **Greetings, ladies. Would you like some help?  
  
**Aeris: **Oh certainly! You are the most handsome man I've ever seen!  
  
**Tifa: **Help me, too!  
  
**Masked Man:** I will do as you wish. _*helps the girls strip*_  
  
**Aeris: **Oh, let me undo your pants, masked man. Oh, what is your real identity?  
  
**Masked Man: **I an unable to divulge that information at this point in time.  
  
**Tifa: **Oh, a mysterious one! How sexy! Yet, somehow, that voice sounds familiar........ oh well, let's get at it!  
  
**Masked man:** Of course, ladies. Anything you godesses say.  
  
**Cloud:** BOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! You didn't drag out the courting long enough!  
  
**Cid: **That @*(#%^ Masked Man! I'm going to figure him out if it's the last thing I do!  
  
**Misty**: _*backstage* _You guys, that masked man in sooooo hot!  
  
**Maria:** yeah, I totally agree!  
  
**Margie:** Maybe we should go out there and begin our act.  
  
**Emeralda: **OK! And then we can see the sexy guy more easily. _*They go out and begin stripping*_  
  
**Ash: **YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MISTY'S HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Misty: **Here for your viewing pleasure, Ash. _*Takes off top*_  
  
**Brock: **Misty, I didn't know you were so beautiful!   
  
**Cloud: **Keep going! Young girls get me turned on, too!  
  
**Emeralda:** Hmm, this is kinda fun. Maybe I could make a living doing this!  
  
**Margie:** Yeah, that would be cool!  
  
**Maria: **Ugh, you guys are making me sick! I don't want to do this anymore! _*runs offstage. Nobody notices.*_  
  
**Ash:** Misty, are you ready?  
  
**Misty:** I dunno. Aren't we kinda young for this?  
  
**Ash: **So?  
  
**Misty: **Good point! Come up here! And bring Pikachu with you!  
  
**Pikachu: **PIKA!!!!!!!! (no way!) _*Runs to be with Maria*_  
  
**Ash: **Oh well. Come on, let's get started!  
  
**Bart:** Say Margie, have you ever thought of second cousin relations?  
  
**Margie:** Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm......................  
  
**Emeralda:** Don't listen to her! She has a crush on you!  
  
**Magie: **Shut up, Emeralda!  
  
**Bart:** Hey, that's great! I like you, too!  
  
**Margie:** Than head up here with me! _*They join the piled up mass of naked bodies*_  
  
**Emeralda:** Great. Now everyone is hooked up but me!  
  
**Billy:** Uh, I beg to differ.  
  
**Emeralda: **You want to hook up with me?  
  
**Billy: **You bet! I mean, you weren't my first choice, but you're the only one left, right?  
  
**Emeralda: **I guess if that's your logic.......  
  
**Billy:** Yup.  
  
**Emeralda: **Then head up, Casanova!  
  
**Cid:** Hey, I don't got no @*(@#)%&U)@#%& sex partner!  
  
**Barret:** neither do I! (@&%(@&#%(!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Cloud: **(@*#&%(&*%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Everyone except Maria: **Well, come and join the fun!  
  
**Barret: **Great!!!! _*They all head up to the stage. Cid notices the masked man, who he had previously forgotten about*_  
  
**Cid:** Masked Man! Show yourself! I demand to know who you are!  
  
**Masked man: **I am one you know......  
  
**Cloud: **Don't give us that )()@%&)(@% crap!!! _*rips the mask off his face*_  
  
**Cid:** VINCENT?  
  
**Cloud:** VINCENT?  
  
**Aeris:** VINCENT?  
  
**Tfia: **VINCENT?  
  
**Barret: **VINCENT?  
  
**Everyone else:** VINCENT?  
  
**Vincent:** I just wanted to be a ladies man for once. Now that you know who I am, I must go._ *puts on normal vampire clothes and flies out of the cabin*  
_  
**Aeris and Tifa**: Thanks a lot! You took sexy Vincent away from us!  
  
**Billy:** Hey, there's plenty more guys here! _*The fun continues for a while. Eventually, lo and behold, in walks in Fei and Elly! Of course, they're half naked and very sweaty...*_  
  
**Fei:** Hey guys, we're- _*notices everyone naked on the floor, going at it*_ uh, we're back! Anyone hear us?  
  
**Elly:** They're imitating us! How rude!  
  
**Maria:** _*rushes up toward them* _Thank god you're back! Everyone except me decided to sleep around! I'm with a bunch of sickos?  
  
**Fei:** Uh, how exactly did this happen?  
  
**Elly**: And why is Madonna, Austin Powers, Felicity, Dr. Evil, and Fat Bastard here?  
  
**Maria:** Well, uh, we wanted to do a fashion show but the guys didn't so we had to do a compromise and then came cheerleaders and the masked man and, uh, never mind!  
  
**Fei: **Oh well.  
  
**Elly: **Fei and I aren't into that group sex stuff, anyway. We're faithful! _*they hug*_  
  
**Maria:** Now I have someone to end the episode with. SEMI- sane people.  
  
**Fei: **Good point. I mean, we were doing it for 4 hours straight.  
  
**Elly:** I think I just burned a ton of calories.  
  
**Maria:** So, do you guys promise that when this episode ends, The stripping will be over and things will be back to normal?  
  
**Fei:** I can promise half of that. The stripping will stop and all guest characters will go away. But things won't be going back to normal.   
  
**Elly: **This is a party, remember? It wouldn't be a party if things didn't go wrong!  
  
**Maria: **Good point! In that case, on to part 10!  
  
--------------------------------------  
  
_To be continued......................... _  
  



	12. Part Ten- "Power Outage"

**The RPG Party- Part 10: Power Outage**  


  


_Featuring The Turks, Ash, Brock, their Pokemon.....and Will Smith_  


---------------------------  
**Fei:** All right, looks like we're finally done cleaning up this stage from part 9, Striptease.  
  
**Billy: **Take a look, it's already &$*#@ dark outside!  
  
**Elly: **No thanks to some of you guys, non-cleaner uppers! _*glares at Brock*  
_  
**Brock**: Geez, kill a guy for trying to say goodbye to his cheerleader friends.....  
  
**Maria:** Oh, can I ask an adult here something? _*laughs nervously*  
_  
**Cid: **Sure, ask me anything. God, I'm starting to sound like a *(@#%()& school teacher!!!  
  
**Maria:** OK, what was all that white, thick stuff all over the stage?  
  
**Cid:** er, um, uh........   
  
**Tifa:** I think he means to say, go ask your mother!  
  
**Maria: **Too bad I don't have a mother or father. But I could ask my grandfather...  
  
**Bart: **You mean old man Bal?  
  
**Maria:** Yeah, him!  
  
**Emeralda:** I'll come with you, Maria! I'm getting a bit tired of this party. Even though I've only been here since part 6...  
  
**Maria:** Good idea! I've been here since- uh, part 3!   
  
**Tifa: **Do you girls need an escort?  
  
**Emeralda:** I guess so. I mean, we need a pilot or something!  
  
**Tifa:** I know how to fly! Maybe I could take you there.  
  
**Barret: **@*%&(@% Tifa! You can't leave for good! We're supossed to be on vacation, remember?  
  
**Tifa:** Don't worry, I'll most likely be back for part 11.  
  
**Cloud: **Good! Now, we'll give you permission to leave.  
  
**Maria:** YAY!!!! Come on Emeralda and Tifa!!!! _*the three of them leave*  
_  
**Misty: **Great, practically all the girls here just left.  
  
**Aeris:** Don't worry, you, me, Elly and Margie will have a good time together.  
  
**Fei: **Well, what are we going to do now? Who's here, anyway?  
  
**Ash: **Let me count! Uh, it's me, Pikachu, Misty, Brock, Fei, Elly, Billy, Margie, Cloud, Barret, Aeris, Cid and Chu-chu, but chu-chu doesn't count because she almost never leaves the broken up Yggdrasil.  
  
**Red XIII: **Hey! I'm here, too! _*roars*  
_  
**Aeris:** Red! You're finally here! Oh, you're soooooo cute....... *pets him*  
  
**Red XIII:** How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that?  
  
**Aeris: **Sorry......  
  
**Cid: **It's about time you @*(#$(*&% got here, Red!  
  
**Red XIII:** I had duties to attend to. Being guardian of Cosmo Canyon isn't easy.  
  
**Margie:** Say Red, have you found a mate yet?  
  
**Red XIII: **Mate? I'm the last one of my species!  
  
**Cloud:** But Red, according to the *(@%& ending, you have baby cubs!  
  
**Red XIII: **Ever heard of cloning?  
  
**Misty:** Oh......... well that spoils the charming nature of that part of the ending! God!  
  
**Billy: **I don't think we ever resolved what we were going to do next.  
  
**Brock: **I think we should go outside.  
  
**Ash:** GREAT IDEA!!!!!!!! And outside we can- _*a roar of thunder is heard. Rain begins to fall.*  
_  
**Elly: **So much for that idea. Looks like we're stuck in here.  
  
**Barret: **This *@(#%(* sucks!!  
  
**Pikachu:** Pika pika pikachu pi! (Ash! I need to go outside and recharge!) _*Tugs on Ash's sleeve and points toward the door*  
_  
**Ash:** Good idea, Pikachu! Pikachu and I our going outside. He needs the energy in his red cheeks. _*goes outside*  
_  
**Brock:** Wait for me, Ash! _*follows him outside*  
_  
**Misty:** Those two are insane! I would never take my precious pokemon out in that weather....  
  
**Billy:** So now we REALLY have nothing to do!  
  
**Red XIII:** Perhaps we should split up into groups. Final Fantasy 7 in one, Xenogears in another, and Pokemon in another.  
  
**Everyone except Misty:** Good idea!  
  
**Misty:** Hey, wait a minute! That's not &*@^% fair! Then I have to go outside with those psychos!  
  
**Aeris:** Sorry, that's just the way things turn out sometimes.... Life isn't fair, Misty  
  
**Misty:** Well, I guess I'll go out- _*thunder roars extra loudly. Lightning strikes. Then- the power goes out!*  
_  
**Fei: **Great, another idea down the *@^% dumpster.......  
  
**Cid: **This is total shit, I can't see a thing!  
  
**Everyone:** NOW WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO????  
  
--------------------------------------------  
  
_Outside with Brock, Ash, and Pikachu  
_  
**Ash:** Here comes a big one, Pikachu! Get ready to charge!  
  
**Pikachu:** PIKACHU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! _*charges on lightning bolt*  
_  
**Brock: **Wow, sometimes I wish I had an electric pokemon.  
  
**Ash:** Say Brock, why did you follow me out here?  
  
**Brock: **I just wanted to get out. I've been too surrounded by people lately. I'm an introvert, ya know!  
  
**Ash: **What's an introvert?  
  
**Brock:** Someone who prefers being alone than with other people. You're an extrovert. That means that you like things like parties and being around other people.  
  
**Ash: **COOL!!!!! Pikachu, I think another one is coming!  
  
**Pikachu:** Pika pi! (I'm too tired. Maybe later) _*shakes his head*  
_  
**Ash: **OK, Pikachu. Maybe we should go back inside, Brock.  
  
**Brock:**Good idea. _*Looks toward house*_ (@#%(*&@(&%!!!!!!!!!!!!! The house is dark! Either they're having yet another sex party of the power went out!  
  
**Ash:** It must be a power outage! Come on, we'd better hurry.   
  
**Pikachu: **PI-KA!!!!! _*they all head inside*  
_  
-----------------------------------------  
  
_Back inside with the gang  
_  
**Margie:** So, how long do you think it will be until the power comes on? And what are we going to do in the meantime?  
  
**Bart: **I don't know, to both questions. *@#&)%)(!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Aeris: **_*singing*_ Baby, when the lights go out! Show you what it's all about!  
  
**Cloud:** Aeris, stop singing. Your voice sucks, and so does 5ive.  
  
**Elly: **Say Fei, this gives me a good idea........... _*smiles*  
_  
**Fei: **Me too! And in the dark! No one would see us if we were 10 feet away!  
  
**Red XIII: **Actually we can still see outlines....  
  
**Barret: **Besides, I think the @*#%(% joke where we walk in on you are getting a little bit old!  
  
**Fei: **So don't walk in on us! Elly, what would be a good place?  
  
**Elly:** Hmm, the linen closet?  
  
**Fei:** Great idea! _*grabs Elly and they walk away*  
_  
**Cid: **Why does the author &%(# have them going at it every single episode?  
  
**Mystery Author:** Good question, Cid! Because- well, you know, because.............  
  
**Cid:** Oh, OK, I get it.  
  
**Misty:** I wish Brock and Ash would come back, they're making me worried.  
  
**Brock: **No fear, Misty, we just got here!  
  
**Pikachu:** PIKA!!!! (I'm charged up!) _*shows off sparking cheeks.*  
_  
**Ash:** I have a good idea how we can get some lights in here.  
  
**Billy:** How?  
  
**Ash:** Charizard, go! _*Charizard pops out of pokeball*  
_  
**Charizard:** Charrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Ash: **charizard, light some candles!  
  
**Charizard:** Char char!!! _*as usual, completely disobeys Ash and begins spewing fire in random places*  
_  
**Ash:** CHARIZARD! Nooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Brock: **You shouldn't have done that Ash! _*the walls are all on fire*  
_  
**Ash:** Charizard, return! _*charizard refuses to go into pokeball*  
_  
**Red XIII: **Great, what are we going to do?  
  
**Misty:** Starmie, Go! _*starmie pops out*_ Staryu, go! _*staryu pops out*_ Psyduck, go! _*psyduck pops out*_ All right guys, blow out the flames!  
  
**Ash:** Squirtle, go! _*squirtle pops out*_ Squirtle, join up with Misty's pokemon!  
  
**Squirtle:** Squirtle!!!!!!! _*The three pokemon attempt to put out the flames but can't keep up and are quickly tiring*  
_  
**Barret:** We're all &%@(&@(%&@ Gonna die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Margie:** Why couldn't I have left with Maria and Emeralda? _*Suddenly, a hose comes streaming in from the window. The hose blasts out the fire in no time.*  
_  
**Billy: **A heavenly figure from up above has saved us!  
  
**Bart:** Yeah, whatever ex-Etone. I wonder who really saved us?  
  
**Will Smith: **It was MEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!! The coolest actor alive!  
  
**Cloud: **You? Cool? Yeah right! Wild WIld West *@%)% sucked!  
  
**Will Smith: **But the song hit #1! Besides, I brought along some guys you know. They claim to be your friends.  
  
**Aeris:** Friends? I thought all of us were at the party!  
  
**Will Smith: **Well, that's what they told me! So, here they are. _*gestures toward window*  
_  
**Reno:** Hey old pals!  
  
**Rude:** What's up?  
  
**Elena: **You are sooooo totally cool!  
  
**Cid: **@)(%&)(@%)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not the turks!  
  
**Will Smith:** Now, my job is done.  
  
**Margie: **Wait! Could you sing, er rap, a song for us?  
  
**Will Smith:** Sure! Which one!  
  
**Bart:** I *@#%(*% hate all of them!  
  
**Elena:** How about "Wild Wild West?"  
  
**Will Smith: **Excellent choice!!!!!! Here I go!!!!!!! Jim West, desperato. Rough rider, no you don't got nada........ There was a mad man in the west. fat man lost his damn mind in the west.... till I roll into the Wild Wild West...... till I stroll into the Wild Wild West....... Till I bounce into the Wild Wild West...... _*finishes song*  
_  
**Margie: **BRAVO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Ash:** BOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Will Smith:** Now, I must go. I have other 100 million dollar movie flops to make! _*He leaves, leaving the Turks there*  
_  
**Rude:** We meet again, Final Fantasy 7 cast and all their goofy friends.  
  
**Elena: **We just pretended to be your friends so totally cool Will Smith would bring us over and we could @*(% fight you!  
  
**Barret:** As much as I'd like to, the power is currently out.....  
  
**Brock:** You know what, I could light some candles for you.  
  
**Bart:** Good, I'm sick of @*((*%@ looking at the back of my hand.  
  
**Misty:** Just don't make a mess out of things like Ash did!  
  
**Ash: **Oh shut up.  
  
**Brock:** Don't worry Misty. Vulpix, go! _*vulpix pops out*  
_  
**Vulpix: **Vulpix!!!  
  
**Brock: **Vulpix, use you fire spin attack very carefully to light these candles! _*Vulpix does, and it works without mishap*_ Vulpix, return! _*vulpix goes back in pokeball*  
_  
**Ash:** That obedient pokemon makes me jealous of you, Brock........  
  
**Elena: **Good! Now we can fight again!  
  
**Cloud: **Wait! I have something to ask of you!  
  
**Rude:** What?  
  
**Cloud: **Could you go outside, lie in a ditch, strip, and try to get struck by lightning?  
  
**Reno:** How much will you pay me? Uh, I mean us....  
  
**Barret: **10 million gil. Just ask your "buddy" Will Smith for the money.  
  
**Reno:** I'll do it! Come on guys! _*drags Rude and Elena out before they can protest*  
_  
**Red XIII: **@&#%(@%# Turks, they're so stupid..... they'll do anything for money.........  
  
**Aeris: **Yeah! The only thing they ever did was capture me!  
  
**Margie: **God, nothing is happening.  
  
**Billy:** I just realized how shitty this place is.   
  
**Misty:** Maybe we could make some popcorn.  
  
**Ash:** COOL!!!!!!!! Pikachu, let's go get some! _*opens freezer and puts popcorn in*_  
  
**Cid: **God, that popcorn it's *&@(%*( black! I don't want to eat that! _*everyone else looks and sees that Cid is right*  
_  
**Bart:** I would have to agree with that. I don't think I've ever seen popcorn sicker than that!  
  
**Pikachu:** Pikachu! (Blech!)  
  
**Aeris:** Hmmm, I know what we could do with the popcorn...  
  
**Red XIII:** What?  
  
**Aeris:** Ever seen American Pie? Wel, you konw what that guy does with the pie and the girl with the fruitcake? Well, maybe you guys could-  
  
**Cloud: **That is so &@%(*% sick, Aeris! I didn't know you had such a perverted mind.  
  
**Barret:** Maybe Fei and Elly would like that idea......  
  
**Faint voice from far away:** HEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Pikachu: **Pika pika pi! (I'm about to explode!)  
  
**Ash: **Uh, oh everyone, stay away from Pikachu! I think he powered up a little bit too much....  
  
**Pikachu:** PIKACHU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! _*Uses the largest thundershock anyone has ever seen. The power goes back on*  
_  
**Misty: **Wow! Thanks Pikachu?  
  
**Ash:** Damn, I'm stupid! Why didn't I think of that?  
  
**Brock**: Because you're stupid...........  
  
**Billy:** God, I'm glad that's over. _*notices Fei and Elly right next to him without clothes on, of course*_ Uh, hey Fei and Elly!  
  
**Fei: **_*really embarassed*_ Uh, hi....great Elly, they ruined our plans.   
  
**Elly:** Could you guys kinda not look at us? We don't have any clothes on....  
  
**Fei: **We're going upstairs. We'll be back for part 11!  
  
**Red XIII: **That was strange. At least you guys didn't walk in on them this time...... technically. _*Tifa walks in*  
_  
**Tifa:** Hey guys! I'm back! So, what happened while I was gone?  
  
**Aeris**: Uh, well.........  
  
**Cid:** NOTHING!!   
  
**Cloud:** Yeah, nothing! Unless you like Will Smith.....  
  
**Margie:** So, did Old man Bal tell them what the white stuff was?  
  
**Tifa:** Sort of.........   
  
**Margie: **Where are Emeralda and Maria, anyway?  
  
**Tifa:** They decided to leave, permenantly. They were tired of the party....Oh, I have some good news for you, Bart!  
  
**Bart:** What?  
  
**Tifa:** Well, I told Old man Bal about the Yggdrasil. And he gave me all these parts to fix it! _*holds up huge, heavy bag*_  
  
**Bart:** Holy shit! Gee, thanks Tifa!  
  
**Barret:** I guess this means we're going to be fixing the @*%&#@ Yggdrasil in part 11.   
  
**Misty:** Sure sounds like it.  
  
**Tifa:** Oh, by the way, The Xenogears land was wonderful today! So quiet, calm, pleaceful, SUNNY!!!!!!!  
  
**Billy:** _*muttering* _Those irony gods.......  
  
-------------------------------  
  
_To be continued.........._  
  



	13. Part Eleven- "Fixing the Yggdrasil"

**The RPG Party- Part 11: Fixing The Yggdrasil**  


  


_Featuring Bart, Sigurd, Krelian, and the Mystery Author  
_  


--------------------  
  
_By the time the power had gone on in the last episode, it had been very late at night. So late that our heroes are all sleeping tonight. Until 5 am the next day, that is....  
_  
**Cloud: **Mmmph _*opens eyes*_ What time is...._*opens eyes further*_ AHHHHH!!!!!!!!  
  
_All females wake up  
_  
**Tifa: **What? What? What is is Cloud?  
  
**Aeris:** Who just woke me up?  
  
**Margie:** Huh?  
  
**Misty:** Grump....  
  
**Elly:** Why am I up at 5 am?  
  
**Chu-chu: **chu chuie!!!  
  
**Cloud: **HELP!!!!! THE GIANT SEA URCHINS ARE COMING TO GET ME!!!!!!!!  
  
_males wake up  
_  
**Cid: **What the *&@%(&@??????  
  
**Brock:** Urchin? Where?  
  
**Barret:** %*)@%)(*!!!!  
  
**Fei: **I don't see any urchins...  
  
**Billy: **How very strange.  
  
**Ash: **Hey, I want an urchin? Is an urchin a pokemon?  
  
**Pikahcu:** Pika!! (NO!) _*shocks Cloud. He wakes up completely*  
_  
**Red XIII: **Humans....  
  
**Bart: **What the hell?  
  
**Cloud:** _*suddenly realizes the circumstances*_ Um guys, never mind, uh, is anyone listening? _*is ignored*  
_  
**Everyone:** GET ME AWAY FROM THE GIANT SEA URCHIN! _*everyone moves around in chaos*  
_  
**Cloud:** Um, ahem. _*stands up on bed*   
_  
**Aeris: **Yes, Cloud?  
  
**Brock: **Have you found it?  
  
**Cloud: **Uh, actually guys, false alarm. It was just my hair....uh, hehe...  
  
**Bart: **You @%@*& woke us up at 5 am because you thought your hair was a sea urchin?  
  
**Cloud: **Uh, yeah...  
**  
Tifa: **_*muttering*_ At least it isn't as bad as his mysterious contacts with Sephiroth he has in his sleep.  
  
**Ash:** Now what are we gonna do?  
  
**Elly: **Let's go back to sleep....  
  
**Margie:** NO! WE CAN'T!!??  
  
**Cid: **@$%@! why not?  
  
**Misty:** Because there's 16 of us sharing a bed!  
  
**Barret:** Oh, right..._*rubs head*_ I think I was sleeping on someone's knee.   
  
**Fei:** Yeah, I feel worse than I do after changing into Id...  
  
**Bily:** HELP! ID IS COMING!!! GET ME AWAY!!! _*runs across bed*  
_  
**Bart: **False alarm, Billy.  
  
**Red:** Perhaps all of you could get dressed and have a discussion around the table....then maybe I could actually get some sleep...  
  
**Margie:** Good idea. Maybe it would be more comfortable there.  
  
**Barret:** And I'd feel more comfortable not being within arms length of Pikachu.  
  
**Ash:** Hey, don't diss my pwecious wittle Pikachu!  
  
**Pikachu:** Pikachu Pi! (I told you never to call me that Ash!)  
  
**Misty:** Yeah, that sounds like something I'd say.  
  
**Brock:** So anyway, can all of us go change or something? Then we can meet at the breakfast table?  
  
**Bart**: _*Muttering*_ I knew they'd forget about our plans...  
  
**Elly: **Come on guys, let's all get dressed.  
  
**Other Girls:** OK! _*follow Elly out of room*  
_  
**Billy: **Hmph, regular clothes, I guess..._*yawns*  
_  
-----------------------  
  
_10 Minutes Later  
_  
_Billy, Bart, Ash, Brock, Cloud, Fei, Cid, and Barret have been sitting at the table for a long time. Finally, the girls come sit down.  
_  
**Aeris: **Thanks for waiting, guys!  
  
**Cloud:** You should be! Women take FOREVER to change!  
  
**Elly:** Say guys, isn't that the same clothes you slept in?  
  
**Guys: **_*look down at clothes*_ Hehehehehe....  
  
**Cid: **I was suprised NOBODY noticed during Final Fantasy VII...  
  
**Margie:** That's sick! I'll do my best not to smell you all right now. _*sits down next to Bart*  
_  
**Females: **_*sit down*  
_  
**Tifa: **Ugh! This table is just as tight as the bed!  
  
**Fei: **Elly, quit bumping your foot against mine!  
  
**Elly:** It isn't me!  
  
**Brock: **Whoops, that's me...well, let's make the best of it and talk. At least Red XIII is sleeping and not in the way.  
  
**Cid:** I'll fix breakfast for everyone!  
  
**Cloud:** Cid, I thought you couldn't @%!$@ cook!  
  
**Cid: **Well, I think I learned pancakes from Shera... uh, what's batter?  
  
**Aeris:** Forget it Cid, give me the recipie!  
  
**Cid: **Oh well. _*Sits in Aeris' place*  
_  
**Misty:** Back to earth, what are we going to do today?  
  
**Ash: **Pikachu and I want to dance again!  
  
**Pikachu:** Pi! (yeah!)  
  
**Barret: **Didn't everyone go through that in part 2?  
  
**Ash: **_*starts dancing*_ I want to be the best, there ever was....  
  
**Misty: _*_**Hits him with a frying pan*  
  
**Ash:** Ouchywawa! Forget about it, then!  
  
**Bart:** _*to Margie*_ They forgot for sure...  
  
**Margie:** _*to Bart*_ We'd better remind them! Listen to their ideas!  
  
**Billy:** Let's have a gun show!  
  
**Elly:** How about a love connection reenactment?  
  
**Fei:** Maybe a contest between me and Cloud to see who has the most personalities!  
  
**Cloud:** A weird hair contest!  
  
**Aeris:** A pretty dress contest!  
  
**Bart: **ATTENTION!!!!!! _*the table shakes due to his loudness*  
_  
**Cid: **_*puts hands over his ears*_ What?  
  
**Margie: **I believe all of you forgot what we were going to do today!  
  
**Brock: **Uh...roll in jello while yodeling? [Yes, I got this from a Dilbert cartoon]  
  
**Bart:** DAMN FOOLS!! Obviously, we were going to fix the Yggdrasil, remember?  
  
**Tifa: **Oh yeah.....right.  
  
**Everyone: **grooooooaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn  
  
**Misty:** I really wish we hadn't agreed to that. Besides, I know nothing about ships.  
  
**Margie:** That's no problem! Everyone who knows something about ships can help us! Everyone else leaves the fanfic for this eipsode!  
  
**Fei:** That's a good idea. I guess I'm stuck, so I'll come help.  
  
**Elly: **I'll help too.  
  
**Billy:** I'll stay back- I know nothing about ships.  
  
**Cid: **I am the master of the Highwind! I will come!  
  
**Ash: **Uh, stay away!   
  
**Piakchu:** Pika pi! (same here!)  
  
**Barret: **I'll help.  
  
**Cloud:** I'll help, too.  
  
**Brock:** Me three.  
  
**Misty:** I'll stay back.  
  
**Tifa:** I know more about these things than you think! I'll come!  
  
**Aeris: **I know nothing....I'll stay.  
  
**Chu-chu:** Stay back.  
  
**Bart: **So then it's settled. Elly, Fei, Cid, Barret, Cloud, Tifa, and Brock are coming. Everyone else leaves the fanfic.  
  
**Billy: **Just one problem with your conclusion, Bart.  
  
**Bart:** What?  
  
**Billy: **We're not "leaving the fanfic." You know that we're gonna save you at some point.  
  
**Margie: **Hahaha! Good one!  
  
**Misty: **You'll see, guys! _*the non-Yggdrasil helpers walk away, most likely to bug Red XIII*  
_  
**Aeris:** Hey, what about all the food I cooked? _*is ignored*_ Oh well.... _*follows everyone upstairs*  
_  
**Bart: **Come on everyone, forward march!   
  
**Elly:** Hey, I'm the Gebler Lieutenent! Follow me!_ *everyone working on the Yggdrasil reluctently follows Elly and Bart.*   
_   
**Margie: **Here we are! In front of what used to be a great ship! _*bows to it*  
_  
**Cloud: **Yeah, whatever Margie. Say, where are the parts?  
  
**Tifa: **Hey, YOU try carrying that bag! I think Ol' Man Bal gave me every single part for a ship!  
  
**Bart:** _*takes bag*_ Hmmmmmmmmmm _*examines parts* _Wow, this IS every single part in a ship! And we're gong to need most of them!  
  
**Cid: **_*examines the wreckage*_ Yeah, I think we maybe have part of your bridge standing, but that's it.  
  
**Margie: **That dumb Visser 3! He ruined my room!  
  
**Brock:** Uh, where should we start?  
  
**Barret: **You could take out some of those @*#%( pokemon to help us.  
  
**Brock: **Good idea. Onix, go! Geodude, go! Guys start cleaning away the wreckage!  
  
**Onix: **OOONix  
  
**Geodude:** Geo geo!  
  
**Fei:** Hmm, I guess we could start putting these pieces together while we're waiting.. _*puts steering wheel on a ladder*  
_  
**Elly: **Oh Fei, do you know anything about ships? _*puts the things where they belong*  
_  
**Fei: **I guess the configurations aren't quite like those in my gear....  
  
**Bart:** So I guess this goes, uh, uh, shoot Margie, where does this go?  
  
**Margie:** Right here!  
  
**Bart: **How about this, this, this, this, this, and this?  
  
**Barret: **@#%*(% Bart! I thought you knew about this stuff!  
  
**Bart:** Uh, yeah. Um, the engine goes here, right?  
  
**Cid: **Of course not! It goes here! _*places engine*  
_  
**Cloud: **I think I know more than Bart does....  
  
**Bart: **Oh man, the secret is out! NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Margie:** HAhahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Fei:** This is nuts. We're stranded here for eternity.  
  
**Elly: **I really wish Sigurd was here!  
  
**Sigurd:** Did I hear my name?_ *everyone turns around to see Sigurd and Rico*  
_  
**Margie:** Cousin! You're here!!!! Thank the lord!  
  
**Rico: **Actually, thank me. I flew him all around in my gear just trying to find you guys!  
  
**Bart:** _*is crying* _I knew I wasn't as good as my big brother, sob, sob!  
  
**Sigurd:** _*goes to Bart*_ There now, you'll be a big pilot like me someday!  
  
**Bart: **_*stops crying*_ Th-thanks Sigurd! _*notices everyone looking at him*_ @%*(@%*(&!!!!!  
  
**Margie:** I guess Bart has a sensetive side to him! Hehehehe!!!!  
  
**Fei:** Yeah, no kidding! Mwahahahahaha!!!!!!! _*breaks out into laughter*  
_  
**Rico: **I can help you guys build, I'm really strong. _*muttering*_ Being a mutant has it's advantages sometimes...  
  
**Sigurd: **Now Bart, shall I teach you how to fix this ship?  
  
**Bart:** Y-yes, my king!  
  
**Sigurd:** Actually, you're the king, but oh well, Let's get to work.  
  
**Barret: **Yeah! We don't @#%*)% Got all day!  
  
**Cloud:** I've got my own business to attend to!  
  
**Voice: **Not so fast!!!! You're NOT getting away with this! _*everyone turns around to look*  
_  
**Bart:** It's KRELIAN! You little @%&^%@%!  
  
**Fei: **All right Krelian, what do you want THIS TIME?  
  
**Krelian: **Since all my efforts failed in Xenogears, I am here to destroy you...  
  
**Brock: **Even the non-Xenogears characters?  
  
**Krelian:** All of you!!!!  
  
**Elly: **And how do you plan on doing this?  
  
**Krelian: **So simply, it's funny! _*holds up ring* _This ring is called the 'Ring of Fanfics.' Can you guess what is does?  
  
**Rico:** Uh, what?  
  
**Krelian:** IDIOTS! It gives me control over the fanfic. As soon as I take out the author, the fanfic will be MINE! Then I will control you all! _*holds up the Mystery Author of 'RPG Party'*  
_  
**Mystery Author:** Help! Guys, I really don't want to kill you! Help!  
  
**Cid:** Oh no, this is serious! We've gotta save her!  
  
**Cloud: **_*runs up to Krelian*_ You'll pay for this, you little- _*is punched unconscious*  
_  
**Krelian: **Would anyone else like to try? _*Silence*_ Now, I shall destroy the author!  
  
**Margie: **This is not the way fairy tales are supossed to end...  
  
**Krelian: **Gya haha!!!! _*knocks the Mystery Author unconscious*  
_  
**Mystery Author:** Please.... save the characters.... _*is knocked out*  
_  
**Krelian:** Now, you have no control over your will! I control everything you say!  
  
**Bart:** I bow down before you, Krelian. I am your servant. _*bows to him*  
_  
**Margie:** I am ready to destroy anything at your command.  
  
**Krelian: **Hmmm, what shall my puppets do? How about they all destroy each other first? Then I can destroy the Yggdrasil! Hahahaha!!  
  
**Fei: **What would you like us to do, Krelian?  
  
**Krelian: **Get into your gears! Lash out at each other! Those that have no gears, too bad! Haha!  
  
**Everyone from Xenogears: **_*climbs into their gears*  
_  
**Bart:** _*Strikes Elly*  
_  
**Elly: **_*attempts to kill Fei*  
_  
**Fei: **_*starts kicking spontaneously*  
_  
**Rico: **_*keeps using steel fist on himself*  
_  
**Cid: **_*jabs Tifa*  
_  
**Tifa:** _*punches and kicks Cloud*  
_  
**Margie:** _*uses her magic attack on everyone*  
_  
**Sigurd: **_*runs around in circles*  
_  
**Brock:** _*has his pokemon start attacking everyone*_  
  
**Krelian:** And on and on the attacks will go! Until they all die! Then I have control of the WORLD! Hahahahaha!!!  
  
_But little does Krelian know, there are OTHER characters in the fanfic...  
_  
------------------------------  
  
_With everyone else in the bedroom_  
  
**Aeris:** Well, what would everyone like to do while we wait for them?  
  
**Billy: **Gun show!  
  
**Misty:** Water Pokemon Exhibition!  
  
**Ash:** Charge up Pikachu!  
  
**Aeris:** _*to herself*_ Oh no......  
  
**Billy: **Gun show!  
  
**Misty: **Water pokemon Exhibition!  
  
**Ash: **Charge up pikachu!  
  
**Billy: **Gun show!  
  
**Misty:** Water Pokemon Exhibition!  
  
**Ash:** Charge up pikachu!  
  
**Aeris:** EVERYONE, STOP!!!! _*the room is silenced*  
_  
**Billy: **Uh, sorry.....  
  
**Misty:** Well, there must be something we can do!  
  
**Aeris:** How about we look out the window and see how everyone's doing?  
  
**Ash: **Ooooh, I like the idea of watching them struggle!  
**  
Misty: **Come on, guys! _*looks out window*_ Uh, why are they all fighting each other?  
  
**Everyone: **WHAT!!?? _*everyone goes to look out the window*  
_  
**Billy: **Hey, everyone's fighting in their gears! Hey wait a minute, are they out for a suicide or something?  
  
**Aeris:** Eeeek! Cloud just sliced someone with his sword!  
  
**Ash: **Have they gone crazy?  
  
**Billy:** _*looks more closely*_ Hey, Krelian is there! What the hell is- and look, the author is lying there, unconscious! Does this mean what I think it means?  
  
**Aeris: **Yup, it looks like he took over the fanfic.  
  
**Billy: **Oh, I thought everyone was out to get the author.....  
  
**Misty: **Wait a minute. How come we aren't under his control, then?  
  
**Aeris: **Well, he doesn't see us out there. He must not know we're in this story.  
  
**Ash: **I guess this means we've gotta save them, right?  
  
**Everyone:** Right.  
  
**Aeris:** But it's not as easy as it sounds. Because if Krelian figures out we're in the fanfic, he can control us, too!  
  
**Misty: **Uh oh. But we can't just stand here and do nothing!  
  
**Aeris:** Perhaps Red XIII can give us some advice.  
  
**Ash:** _*walks over to Red*_ Hey old dog, WAKE UP!!!!  
  
**Red: **Huh? Oh, hi Ash. Next time, please shake me instead of shouting.  
  
**Ash:** Sorry.  
  
**Billy: **Red, we need your help. See, the-  
  
**Red: **I already heard your discussion. Aren't you guys aware that the Mystery Author has other user accounts on fanfiction.net? Those are her alter-egos!  
  
**Aeris: **Oh yeah, that's right! She wrote a story with me in it on her other username!  
  
**Misty:** Same here. But so? Who cares?  
  
**Red: **Well, she obviously has a split personality. We must find her other username and have that part of her save her ego which made this fanfic- and this story!  
  
**Ash: **Cool!  
  
**Billy:** That's almost as confusing as the Xenogears storyline, but hey, I'm up for anything!  
  
**Misty: **let's go! _*they all leave, with goals of saving the fanfic*  
_  
----------------------------  
  
_Back with Krelian_  
  
**Krelian:** This is going more slowly than I was expecting.  
  
**Fei:** _*gear drops to the ground*  
_  
**Krelian:** Oh, no! his gear is out of fuel! And so are the others! I can't control that aspect of the fanfic!  
  
**Elly, Rico, and Bart: **_*leave gears*_  
  
**Krelian: **At least they obey my commands...but this is disturbing, I cannot control them completely. WHY? WHY?  
  
**Cid:** _*begins jabbing everyone who just leaft their gears*  
_  
**Krelian: **I suppose I should call all more bad guys in just to speed things up. _*calls Jessie and James*  
_  
**Jessie:** We're Team Rocket! Mighty Team Rocket!  
  
**James:** What would you like us to do?  
  
**Krelian: **Help kill those fighting fools!  
  
**Jessie:** Certainly.  
  
**Krelian:** And remember, if you don't, I can always kill you! I'm in control of the fanfic!  
  
**James:** Um, of course, Krelian. _*they join in on the fight. Things are looking pretty bleak. How are our other friends doing in the rescue mission?*  
_  
--------------------  
  
_In the land of FanFiction Authors_  
  
**Aeris:** All right, here we are, guys!  
  
**Ash:** Now what are we supposed to do?  
  
**Misty: **Knock on the door, silly!  
  
**Ash: **Oh, right. _*knocks on door. A middle aged woman answers it*  
_  
**Woman: **Hello, what would you children like today?  
  
**Billy:** We'd like to speak with Mystery Author.  
  
**Lady: **Oh yes, she's my daughter. Just a minute please. _*leaves door*  
_  
**Red:** I tell you, I can't wait to see the sweet side of our Mystery Author. The side of her which writes the normal stories.  
  
**Billy: **This multiple personalities thing is reminiscent of Fei and Id. You see- _*the door opens*  
_  
**Mystery Author's Alter-Ego: **Hey guys- uh, hey it's my fanfic characters! What's up!  
  
**Aeris:** Mystery Author, we are in dire need. Your alter ego is in danger. She is unconscious, and Krelian has taken over the fanfic 'RPG Party.'  
  
**Mystery Author's Alter-Ego: **GOOD! She's my evil side! She writes all these sick stories, 'like RPG Party' and 'The Worst Pokemon Fanfic Ever!' I want to get rid of her!  
  
**Billy:** But Mystery Author, everyone loves the RPG Party series! What would we do without them?  
  
**Misty: **Besides, if we all get killed off, you won't be able to write about us anymore.  
  
**Mystery Author:'s Alter-Ego **But I thought you guys were immortal...  
  
**Ash: **Nope, we're just ordinary beings...  
  
**Mystery Author's Alter-Ego:** Oh all right, I'll help you. But for you guys, not my other personality!   
  
**Everyone:** YAY!!!!!!!!! _*they all leave*  
_  
----------------------  
  
_Back with Krelian_  
  
**Krelian:** Ah yes, this is working perfectly. Everyone is nearing unconsciousness.  
  
**Mystery Author's Alter-Ego:** Not so fast, evil Krelian!  
  
**Krelian: **_*looks up in confusion*_ Huh? I thought I'd killed her!  
  
**Ash:** Only one side of her personality! This is the other side!  
  
**Krelian:**_ *looks up to see the other RPG Party characters*_ Hey, how come I couldn't control you? *@%(&@%!!!!!  
  
**Aeris: **you did not know we existed. So how could you?  
  
**Krelian:** Well, now I will take control of all of you!  
  
**Mystery Author's Alter-Ego: **Not so fast! _*swoops down to take the "fanfic ring"*  
_  
**Krelian: **AHHHH!!!!!! _ *takes the fanfic ring. But just before, Krelian manages to blow up the Yggdrasil as a final attack*  
_  
**Billy: **Oh no, the Yggdrasil!  
  
**Mystery Author's Alter-Ego:** Have no fear, Billy! *The Mystery Author waves her hand, and for just a minute, everything goes black*  
  
--------------------  
  
_A few minutes later  
_  
_Everyone except Fei has recovered and is waking up.  
_  
**Elly: **Thank you Mystery Author. You saved us! Now, we must do something for you.  
  
**Mystery Author's Alter-Ego:** Huh?  
  
**Rico:** We know how much your other side bothers you. We must merge you together as one.  
  
**Fei: **_*Out of his unconscious body comes Id*  
_  
**Id:** I am the dark side of Fei, just as your ego who writes 'RPG Party' is the dark side of you. I will help your sides become one as Fei and I did.  
  
**Mystery Author's Alter-Ego: **Really? Thank you!  
  
**Id:** Put your palms together. Now, I have put energy through you. _*The Mystery Author's good personality suddenly merges with her dark personality*  
_  
**Mystery Author Combined:** _*sniffles*_ I can't believe it! Finally, I'm whole again! Thank you, Id! _*notices that Id is back inside Fei*  
_  
**Fei:** Huh? Id? What?  
  
**Sigurd:** Don't ask, Fei....  
  
**Mystery Author (yes, still combined!):** Thanks for helping me, everyone!  
  
**Tifa: **And you helped us. Now we can finish this fanfic.  
  
**Bart:** _*Looks at Yggdrasil*_ Oh no! Krelian smashed the Yggdrasil into tiny pieces!  
  
**Mystery Author: **No fear, Bart. I am the author, and I can do anything._ *suddenly, the Yggdrasil, fully repaired, appears*  
_  
**Margie:** Wow! Thanks! Now, I believe Bart and I must go back. We have unfinished business at home, and it was scheduled for a week ago, before this thing crashed.  
  
**Billy:** I need to come, too.  
  
**Sigurd:** I will pilot.  
  
**Bart:** Goodbye, everyone! The party was fun! _*Bart, Margie, Sigurd, and Billy vanish along with the Yggdrasil*  
_  
**Cid: **I'll miss them.....  
  
**Cloud:** You'll be missing everyone, soon.  
  
**Barret: **Huh?  
  
**Cloud:** Haven't you been keeping track? We only have one more day until our scheduled vacation is over!  
  
**Misty:** Oh man....  
  
**Red:** But I suppose we'll have to make the best of it, won't we?  
  
**Mystery Author: **You bet! And I'll be writing for you every step of the way.....  
  
---------------------  
  
_To be continued...._  
  
  



	14. Part Twelve- "Attack of the Killer... Wh...

**The RPG Party- Part 12: Attack of the Killer...Whatevers**  


  


_Featuring Barret, Cid, Deus, Ramsus, Miang, Wild Animals...and Calvin and Hobbes_  


  
--------------------------------------------  
  
_Everyone was tired from the Yggdrasil repairs, and the house is asleep. It is noon, but only a singular person is awake...and that person is a bit 'busy:'  
_  
**Barret:** Hmm, what can I do to make this an exciting day?  
  
**Voice from the heavens:** It shall be memorable.  
  
**Barret:** _*looks up*_ Huh? Who are you?  
  
**Deus:** I am Deus, your 'god.' I will take care of everything.  
  
**Barret:** Really?  
  
**Deus: **Of course. Now, wake the others up. Don't worry about me.  
  
**Barret:** WOO HOO!!! _*Runs upstairs into bedroom*_ HEY EVERYONE, WAKE UP!!!! _*Everyone's eyes sleepily open*  
_  
**Fei:** Damn it, why are you waking us up so early?  
  
**Barret:** It's hardly early. It's noon.  
  
**Misty: **It's NOON! EEEEEEK! I got too much beauty sleep! _*Starts jumping on the bed, completely waking everyone up*  
_  
**Ash: **Ugh.....  
  
**Cid: **@%*(&%(*@#!!!!!!!!!!! Well, guess we should all go downstairs.... _*Gets up*  
_  
**Red XIII:** I suppose so. Let us go watch the television.  
  
**Brock:** Sounds good!  
  
**Tifa: **I'll be down in a minute..._ *Everyone goes downstairs, with crazy hair and in their pajamas and struggle for seats in front of the TV*  
_  
**Ash: **Misty, GIVE ME MY SEAT BACK!  
  
**Misty:** You can go sit on the floor with your pikachu!  
  
**Ash:** No way! You look like a toad in the morning, you know!  
  
**Misty:** Why you little- _*whams him over the head*  
_  
**Aeris:** I look awful in the morning, too....  
  
**Cid: **Well, at least your hair doesn't look like Cloud's! _*points to his head. His hair is sticking up and, indeed, looks like Cloud's hair*  
_  
**Brock: **_*is staring at Tifa*  
_  
**Tifa:** WHAT do you want, Brock?  
  
**Brock: **You don't wear a bra under that outfit, do you?  
  
**Tifa: **_*looks down*_ &$@&%@!!!!!!! I forgot to put one on! Nooooo! _*runs to the bedroom*  
_  
**Rico: **Say Elly, it seems quieter here than earlier.  
  
**Elly: **That's becuase Bart, Margie, Sigurd, Bart, and Chu-Chu all left yesterday.  
  
**Rico:** Oh yeah, right....It's not fair! Whenever I come to a party, everyone else is leaving!  
  
**Fei: **Since no one else is turning on the TV, I will! _*grabs the remote and turns it on*  
_  
**Ash:** Hey, look! It's a pokemon wildlife show!  
  
**Pikachu: **Pika Pika Pi! (That's my Great Aunt Gertrude!)  
  
**Misty: **Ooooh, it's a Togepi! _*Ash and Misty continue looking at pokemon, scooching toward the TV, until they run into each other*  
_  
**Ash:** Hey, that was MY seat!  
  
**Misty:** No, MY seat!  
  
**Ash: **&@%*^@!!!!!!!  
  
**Misty: **Well, @&%*@# you!  
  
**Brock:** Oh man, I think I'd better change the channel. _*Picks up remote*  
_  
**Barret: **COOL MAN! It's WWF wrestling! _*Starts chanting* _HOOT, HOOT, HOOT, HOOT!  
  
**Elly: **Oh man, I can't stand wrestling...  
  
**Aeris: **Me Either!!_ *grabs remote from Barret*  
_  
**Barret: **H-Hey!  
  
**Cloud:** I want the remote!  
  
**Cid: **No, I do!  
  
**Rico: **The TV is mine!  
  
**Brock:** We're watching what I like best!  
  
**Fei: **Gimme!!  
  
**Ash: **No, mine, mine, mine! _*The guys get in a huge fight for the remote. Tifa comes down*  
_  
**Tifa:** Men.....  
  
**Aeris:** I really don't think we should be spending our last day like this.  
  
**Misty: **Well, there must be SOMETHING we can do......  
  
**Red: **_*strains ears*_ Guys, listen carefully. Do you hear something outside?  
  
**Girls:** _*listen Very Very Carefully*  
_  
**Tifa: **Hmm......It almost  
  
**Elly:** Sounds like a........  
  
**Misty:** TIGER!!!!  
  
**Aeris:** Maybe we should let it in!  
  
**Misty:** YEAH!!! _*opens door. A little boy and his tiger come roaring in. The guys look up*  
_  
**Barret:** _*to himself*_ Yes!!!! The *@%(& fun he promised is finally starting!  
  
**Cloud: **Did you say something, Barret?  
  
**Barret:** Uh, no.....  
  
**Cloud: **Good.  
  
**Fei: **_*Walks over to boy and Tiger*_ So, just who are you?   
  
**Calvin: **You've NEVER read our comic strip?? I'm Calvin!  
  
**Hobbes: **And I'm Hobbes!  
  
**Red XIII: **I've read the comic strip! But I thought the writer retired.  
  
**Calvin: **He did! But we still live on! Hobbes is my BEST friend!  
  
**Rico:** Damn, I thought he was a stuffed tiger.  
  
**Hobbes: **I feel insulted by the comment! I'll have to eat you!  
  
**Rico: **You could, but it might be painful. Mutants are much tougher than humans.  
  
**Hobbes:** Oh....yuck!  
  
**Cid: **So, why are you here?  
  
**Calvin:** God was beckoning to us.  
  
**Hobbes: **It was a sign from the heavens.  
  
**Elly: **A sign? How peculiar...   
  
**Susie:** Hi! I'm Susie Derkins, from Calvin and Hobbes.  
  
**Calvin:** Damn it Susie, you had to come ruin our fun!  
  
**Fei: **This is *&%#@ boring.  
  
**Barret:** Yeah really. I thought god had more in mind!  
  
**Tifa:** Huh?  
  
**Barret: **Nothing....  
  
**Susie: **Anyway, Calvin escaped from school to come here. I came to get him back into class.  
  
**Calvin: **Aww, man!!!!!!  
  
**Cloud: **Sorry, Calvin. Nice talking to you guys.  
  
**Hobbes:** GOODBYE! _*he and Calvin leave*  
_  
**Brock: **Very peculiar.  
  
**Misty:** Maybe something more exciting will happen today.  
  
**Ash: **Yeah, really.......  
  
**Cid: **I GOT IT!!!!!!!!  
  
**Everyone:** What?  
  
**Cid: **WE CAN GO INTO OUTER SPACE!  
  
**Aeris: **Don't we need a rocket for that, Cid?  
  
**Cid: **No problem! I'll go make one! _*Runs out the the backyard* _It will be done by sunset!  
  
**Tifa: **Hey, that sounds kind of fun.......  
  
**Misty:** I get plane sick. Would I get rocket sick, too?  
  
**Ash: **uh, I hate to inturrupt, but......  
  
**Rico: **But what?  
  
**Ash: **RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! THERE'S A BUNCH OF....WHATEVERS COMING!  
**  
Everyone:** AHHHH!!!!!!!!! _*jumps out of the way*  
_  
**Aeris: **What are those things?  
  
**Brock:** They're khangaskans!  
  
**Khangkaskans: **Kanka, Kanga, Kangaskan! _*Start running around in circles*  
_  
**Cloud: **Shit, they're making this cabin even more beat up!  
  
**Pikachu:** PIKA!!! (stop!)  
  
**Khangaskans:** _*stop*  
_  
**Ash: **Hey, maybe I can catch one! Pokeball, go! _*throws pokemon at a khangaskan. It misses. The pokemon gets extremely angry and runs upstairs.*  
_  
**Khangaskan:** KHANGA!!!!!! _*destroys the bed*  
_  
**Elly:** NOO!!! They just destroyed Fei's and my favorite place to sleep together!  
  
**Fei:** Oh no! That's awful! _*starts sobbing*  
_  
**Rico: **Whatever.....so, how can we get these, uh, things out of here?  
  
**Red XIII: **I don't know, but it's sure not happening, look at what else is coming! _*everyone looks*  
_  
**Tifa: **Oh no! It's CHOCOBOS!!! And mad ones!  
  
**Cloud: **Does anyone have any greens?  
  
**Aeris: **I never know I'd need them in heaven......  
  
**Barret:** That %&$@* guy, I'll get him for this!  
  
**Misty: **Cid is sooooo lucky he's not here.  
  
**Chocobos: **WARK! WARK! WARK! _*start forming a circle around our heroes*  
_  
**Barret: **What the *&%*(%&(@#%*(*@%*^?  
  
**Brock: **Maybe some of my pokemon could help restrain them. Vulpix, go! Geodude, Go!  
  
**Vulipx and Geodude: **VulDude?_ *Start looking at the chocobos and suddenly run over to the Khangaskans, helping in the mess.*  
_  
**Ash:** Great, just great._ *looks more closely* _Oh, no! PIKACHU!!  
  
**Pikachu: **_*Is running around madly, thundershocking everything in sight*  
_  
**Red XII: **Does anyone have any idea WHY everything decided to come here?  
  
**Barret: **&@%*(&@%*(!!!!  
  
**Aeris:** What is it, Barret?  
  
**Barret:** Uh, uh, nothing! Nada! Really!  
  
**Chocobos: **Wark! Wark! _*Start pecking at everyone madly*  
_  
**Tifa: **Owww!!!  
  
**Elly: **Hey guys, maybe we could get everyone in our gears to shield us!  
  
**Fei: **Uh, Elly, the Yggdrasil left, remember?  
  
**Elly:** Oh, right. *@(%&&(@%!!!!!  
  
**Rico:** Maybe I can use my body to kill all of them! _*Uses steel fist on himself and charges toward a chocobo*  
_  
**Chocobo: **WARRRRKKKK!!! _*All chocobos and Khangaskans change in on Rico*  
_  
**Cloud: **Uh-oh...._ *Rico charges out the the way, so the animals crash into the wall and break it down*  
_  
**Barret:** Hey, this wasn't in our renting contract! We could get sued!  
  
**Khangashanks: **_*Close in on Aeris and start ripping at her dress*  
_  
**Aeris: **Quit it! That's RAPE!  
  
**Misty: **It's the Attack of the Killer...Whatevers!!!!  
  
**Brock:** Yeah, no kidding....  
  
**Red XIII: **I wish someone would help us!  
  
**Male Voice: **ALL RIGHT! CUT IT OUT! THEY'VE HAD ENOUGH!  
  
**Female voice: **Hey, you don't need to shout that loud!  
  
**Elly: **Damn, those voices sound familiar.... _*Two people come up*  
_  
**Ramsus:** Hey everyone.  
  
**Miang:** What's up?  
  
**Tifa: **Uh, are you aware of what you guys are wearing? _*Ramsus and Miang are both wearing speedo suits*  
_  
**Ramsus and Miang:** Yes.  
  
**Cloud: **Why are you wearing them?  
  
**Ramsus and Miang: **The sex was good.  
  
**Barret:** Whatever you say....  
  
**Ramsus and Miang: **The sex was very good!  
  
**Fei: **You came here to tell us that 'the sex was good?'  
  
**Miang: **You would know, Fei. YOU saw us!  
  
**Rico: **Oh yeah, remember that? That one time we saw Ramsus and Miang waking up in those speedos...  
  
**Aeris: **Now THAT'S a scary thought.  
  
**Brock:** Can I join in? _*grins*  
_  
**Misty:** You sicko! _*glares at Brock*  
_  
**Elly: **You know Fei, it's been a couple episodes since we....  
  
**Fei: **I know, but it would kind of be hard to do it right now. Look at this place! _*All the walls have crashed down. The cabin is practicallly destroyed*  
_  
**Ramsus: **I hardly came here to watch a bunch of sick exhibitionists, anyway.  
  
**Red XIII: **So, why are you here?  
  
**Miang:** We have been called by our God.  
  
**Ash: **What the %&$#*?   
  
**Tifa: **How come every single thing here seems to have been called by a god?  
  
**Ramsus:** Somebody here obviously asked Deus to make the day memorable. Don't you think it's memorable?  
  
**Cloud: **All right, who's the &%&*^@ That called Deus here?  
  
**Barret: **Uh, hehe....  
  
**Everyone:** Barret, you *@%(&@(%#*!!!!!!  
  
**Miang: **So, your day will be very memorable.   
  
**Rico: **Uh, that's good...I guess  
  
**Ramsus: **However, when Deus defined memorable, he didn't mean fun! Mwahahahahaha!!!!  
  
**Elly: **Oh no! What are you going to do to us?  
  
**Miang: **You will all die a painful death from our gears! Gears, come here! _*the gears show up next to the chocobos*  
_  
**Fei: **&@%*(@#(*!!!!!!  
  
**Barret: **Sorry, guys.......hehehehehe  
  
**Misty:***is praying desperately to the god of pokemon, Mewtwo*  
  
**Ramsus:** All right Miang, let's hurry this up! We want to go back to the speedo thing!  
  
**Miang: **Right on, Ramsus! Chocobos and pokemon, attack! _*Ramsus and Miang climb into their gears. the Chocobos begin pecking at everyone*  
_  
**Ash: **Everyone, DODGE the attacks!  
  
**Brock: **Let's see how fast we can run! Come on, it's a contest!  
  
**Red XIII: **Humans...always getting us into these messes....  
  
_The dodging continues for a couple hours. It appears that they will eventually tire out and be stomped to death by Ramsus and Miang's gears. Only one person can save them.....  
_  
----------------------  
  
_Two Hours later, with Cid in the Backyard  
_  
**Cid: **Hmm, this rocket building is going more slowly than I thought. I wonder how I can get this done more quickly?  
  
**An odd rhodent: **Hey, bro, I can help you.  
  
**Cid: **Huh? Who are you?  
  
**Hammer:** Wait a minute, you're not Fei. I'm Hammer, a cool salesman. I sell parts for gears, ships, and even rocket ships.  
  
**Cid: **You got some stuff to sell me?  
  
**Hammer: **Actually, I have a rocket right here...some assembly required, of course.  
  
**Cid:** &@(%*&@!!!!! Oh well, give it to me.  
  
**Hammer: **here it is._ *Takes out rocket* _That will be 1 million gil.  
  
**Cid: **Thanks!  
  
**Hammer:** Take care! Adios!  
  
**Cid:** Bye!_ *Lifts up bag*_ Oof! This is heavy! _*Takes bag off*  
_  
_And, standing there, is a full size rocket!  
_  
**Cid: **All right! He was *(@%& kidding when he told me it needed assembly! This thing is a beauty! I think I'll go show everyone else so we can go into space! _*walks back to house, where he is completely surprised at what he sees*  
_  
**Cid:**Hey, wait a minute! What the hell is going on?  
  
**Ramsus: **You all must DIIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Everyone: **Sweat, huff, puff, puff... _*Everyone is tiring out. Red XIII just misses getting hit by Miang's gear. Luckily, Aeris notices Cid...*  
_  
**Aeris:** LOOK! It's CID! Cid, help us!  
  
**Barret:** P-please! This is so &@%(@*#%&@(*)@!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Cid: **Hmmm.....OK, um... _*starts thinking*  
_  
**Fei: **Hurry up, Cid!  
  
**Cid: ** I know! How about you all come on my rocket ship!  
  
**Elly: **You built a rocket ship? _*Is almost stepped on by Ramsus' gear*_ AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Cid: **Everyone, RUN!!!!!!! While they're distracted!  
  
**Everyone:** We're coming!!!! _*Everyone starts running with Cid to the ship, some on Red's back*  
_  
**Ramsus: **Hey, where are they going? _*Miang stops randomly stomping things and looks*  
_  
**Miang: ***%@(@!!!!!!!! They're running away! Go after them!!!  
  
**Ramsus:** OK, boss! _*They start stomping after them in their gears*  
_  
**Ash: **Oh no! They're coming!  
  
**Misty: **RUUUUUNNNNNNNN!!  
  
**Cid: **Here it is! Climb in everyone!_ *Everyone gets in in time, except...Brock!*  
_  
**Miang: **Get the one remaining straggler!  
  
**Brock:** I think it's time I say a prayer for help...  
  
**Ramsus:** Trample him! _*Stomps where Brock was standing....only to discover he isn't there!*  
_  
**Brock:** _*inside Rocket*_ Wow, something transferred me in here! There is a god! _*kisses the bottom of the rocket ship*  
_  
**Everyone:** Yuck....  
  
**Miang: **Damn! We failed!  
  
**Ramsus: **Oh well, who cares? We lost every time in Xenogears!  
  
**Miang: **Yeah, say, now I get to see you in that speedo suit again!  
  
**Ramsus: **Same here! YAHOO!!! Let's fly off to a far away place!  
  
**Miang: **Good idea. Let's fly off! _*Miang and Ramsus fly away in their gears, probably to have more 'fun in speedo suits'*  
_  
---------------------------  
  
_Inside Cid's Rocket Ship  
_  
**Cid: **5........4........3............2...........1................ BLAST OFF!!!!!!!!  
  
**Red:** I'm very relieved we made it.  
  
**Rico:** Yeah, I've had enough excitement for the day. My normally very strong body is starting to tire.  
  
**Tifa: **My back hurts.  
  
**Cloud: **You mean it doesn't hurt every day, Tifa?  
  
**Tifa: **Shut up!_ *slaps him*  
_  
**Fei:** Don't you love the feeling of weightlessness, Elly?  
  
**Elly: **It's great! Say Fei, that gives me a great idea...  
  
**Fei: **Me too. _*grin*  
_  
**Elly:***very big grin*  
  
**Misty:** I'm sooo jealous of you, Fei and Elly!  
  
**Ash: **I'm just about ready to puke.  
  
**Cid: **So, anyway guys, it looks like we can just fly around until- _*is cut off by system announcement*  
_  
**System voice: **Fuel is very low. Land at service station.  
  
**Cid: **&@(%*&@(*&!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That Hammer! He wasn't kidding when he said it needed assembly! That bastard! He should have told me!  
  
**Rico: **You have to be careful with Hammer, he can get tricky sometimes.  
  
**Cid:** Well guys, it looks like we're going to land...  
  
**Evil Voice:** NOT SO FAST!  
  
**Aeris:** Oh no, what now?  
  
**Deus: **I am Deus, your god. I have made the day interesting for all of you.  
  
**Red XIII: **Too interesting...  
  
**Deus: **And it's about to become more interesting. Ramsus and Miang failed, but I'm not about to! You're not getting out of this party alive! PREPARE TO DIE!  
  
**Barret: **Damn! It's all my fault! _*starts getting all riled up*  
_  
**Fei and Elly: **_*Look up from their 'activities'*_ NOT DEUS!  
  
**Deus: **You will all suffer! _*Starts getting ready to attack*  
_  
**Cid: **I only have one chance to hit him with fuel this low!  
  
**Brock: **This from the guy that saved me from those gears....  
  
**Misty: **You never know Brock, you never know...  
  
**Cid: **All right, here goes!  
  
**Deus: **You will not hit me, morons!  
  
**Cid: **5....4......3......2.......1......FIRE!!! _*Just as Deus is about to attack, The beam fires from the rocket...and hits it!*  
_  
**Deus: **GAAAHHHH!!!!!! I underestimated you humans! You win the battle, but not the war! I will be back! _*Deus vanishes off in the distance*  
_  
**Misty: **Yay, we did it!_ *Does a victory dance*  
_  
**Tifa: **Yahoo!  
  
**Elly:** ALL RIGHT!!!  
  
**System voice: **You are out of fuel. I repeat, you are out of fuel.   
  
**Cid: **Well everyone, I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we're going down.  
  
**Everyone: **Yay!  
  
**Cid:** But the bad news is, we're hitting the ground hard. We're out of fuel.  
  
**Everyone:** Oh no!  
  
**Ash:** We're all gonna die!!!!  
  
**Cid:** Let's all have a silent prayer...oh wait, maybe that's not such a good idea...  
  
**Red XIII: **_*Looks out window* _Well, it looks like we're going to hit in 5-4-3-2-1  
  
_KABOOM! The rocket hits the ground! Are our heroes doomed? No! It appears they're still alive!  
_  
**Barret: **We're really lucky, that's all I can say.  
  
**Cloud: **And, luckily, the chocobos are gone.  
  
**Aeris: **Wow, look! It's getting dark outside! We're going to have to go!  
  
**Brock:** Cloud, when do we have to leave this house by?  
  
**Cloud: **Midnight, tonight. _*checks watch*_ It's about 7 pm right now.  
  
**Tifa: **Say Cloud, we'd better get going. I think it was in the contract that we couldn't damage this place. _*Everyone looks at the destroyed walls*  
_  
**Brock: **DAMN!!!!!! We'd better get going so they can't track us! &@%*&^@!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Cid:** I can take everyone back in the highwind.  
  
**Misty: **Good. I was afraid we'd have to walk.  
  
**Rico:** So, should we all take an hour or so to pack up?  
  
**Aeris: **Yeah. How about we meet in front of the highwind in an hour? Then we're leaving.  
  
**Ash: **OK!  
  
**Fei:** Hey, wait a minute! Elly and I never got to finish what we started!  
  
**Elly: **Yeah!_ *pouts*  
_  
**Everyone:** _*Groans*  
_  
**Brock:** Can't you at least wait until we drop you off?  
  
**Fei and Elly: **Uh, I guess...........  
  
**Cid: **In that case, it's settled! We're leaving this place in an hour! Get packing! _*everyone leaves to pack*  
_  
-------------------------------------  
  
_To be continued................._  



End file.
